


My Crown

by LollipopHime



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst!Riku, DID I MENTION THIS FIC HAS ANGST??, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Momo and Yuki are not idols, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Riku as solo idol, Softie!Tenn, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing, Things will get better somehow, Violence, idolish6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2020-02-27 14:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 67,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18740884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LollipopHime/pseuds/LollipopHime
Summary: The idol group representing power and image, TRIGGER.The idol group that has yet to debut, IDOLiSH6.And a solo idol set out to crush them all, Kujou Riku.Why, of course, their paths will surely cross, but how that will affect their lives will soon be told.Enjoy and don't forget to leave comments!!





	1. Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT 9 Aug: Added book cover

 

"Thank you all for coming!"

White hair with a slight tint of pink shone in the spotlight. His soft pink eyes and jewels from his stage costume competed against each other in shining bright. The boy smiled like an angel on stage, with his two other members standing beside him.

Nanase Tenn, Yaotome Gaku and Tsunashi Ryunosuke, together they are

TRIGGER

~~

"This is it. The moment of truth"

A man with a face of a person who seemed to have not slept enough for months grinned and looked at his son's determined face. "I will accept no failure. Come back to me as a legendary idol"

"Yes, father." A boy, 18, looked back at his father's face. His red eyes wore seriousness and the power to crush everyone in his way. The redhead walked away from his father and boarded the plane to Japan without looking back.

Kujou Riku.

~~

An all rounded group with unique personalities, coming together as one forming such "perfection". They had their fateful meeting at Takanashi production. Already, the seemed to be in so in sync.

"Well then it's settled!" A young woman with blond long hair shouted with such excitement, looking at the new idol group she will be managing.

"Thank you for choosing me as a centre. Yoroshikuonegaishimasu!" A young high school student bowed before the other members who bowed back and smiled in approval.

Nikaido Yamato, Izumi Mitsuki, Yotsuba Tamaki, Osaka Sougo, Rokuya Nagi and Izumi Iori. They are

IDOLiSH6

~~

Everyone set out with different mindset, pursuing different goals with the same career. Little did they know that their paths will intertwine...

And that nothing is certain.

 


	2. The New Idol

**Note: Text in** ** _Italic_** **represents the person's thoughts**  
—————————————————————————————-  
The trio were exhausted from singing and dancing on stage for three whole hours, but the tiredness could not even compare to how fulfilled the three felt, seeing the fans screamed for them and danced with them. Yaotome Gaku, Tsunashi Ryunosuke and Nanase Tenn were resting on the couch, waiting for their pink haired fierce manager, Anesagi, to pick them up.

"You're such a big softy, Tenn" Gaku laughed and teased their centre. "Can't believe you cried exiting the stage"

"Now, now, Gaku. Everyone gets emotional sometimes" Ryuu, dubbed the "sexy beast", was trying to protect Tenn but failed as he couldn't help laughing himself.

"I was NOT crying!" Tenn shouted, his face turned pink. Oh he did cry alright. After all the concert they just did was one of the biggest since starting their career.

Gaku and Ryuu both love to tease Tenn on a daily basis since Tenn is such a sweet little boy to them. Sweet, but deadly. Tenn could easily capture the hearts of the audience with his attractive vocal and dance. The three aren't just "business partners". They are friends who support each other, always and forever. They share their problems, talk about their secrets over drinks or food like college students hanging out.

One thing still remains a secret though: Nanase Tenn has a younger twin brother, Nanase Riku. Riku is everything to him. His heart was shattered when Riku left with a certain man years ago. A man named Kujou. Tenn has never met Riku since. Even now, he still worries about his little brother who has a chronic illness.

_Riku, I really miss you. I miss you so...so...much_.

~~

"Today is your big day! Go all out everyone!" Takanashi Tsumugi smiled wide. The idol group she has been managing was about to step on the stage, holding their first outdoor live concert with 3000 guests. The last time they performed here, only 9 guests came.

"Alright everyone, let's give it our best shot" 6 members put their hands out in the middle. "PERFECTION!" They shouted with such energy and they let their hands flew up high.

"KYAAAAA IORI!!!!!" The fans started screaming as soon as IDOLiSH6 centre stepped out onto the stage, waving at them.

The song "Perfection Gimmick" echoed throughout the place. It was a huge success for I6. Tsumugi could not help crying at the backstage as she watched the boys performed.

"Thank you for coming everyone! We are....

IDOLiSH6!"

"And before we sing the last song, we are happy to announce that we will be performing at Music Festa. Hope to see everyone there"

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" The air of excitement filled the whole place. IDOLiSH6 pretty much has secured their debut.

However,...

A new idol came out of nowhere, gaining popularity so fast Tsumugi and I6's hard work felt like a joke.

~~

"Oh did you see the new idol, Kujou Riku? A girl approached her classmates with the picture of a young red haired boy on her phone.

"OMG yes! He is SUPER CUTE." One of the girls responded.

"Hmph! You guys are slow. I went to his live two days ago." Another girl said proudly.

"WHHHHAAAT?? How was it!!??!!"

"Oh you guys have NO idea. It was AMAZING! His performance was REALLY powerful. Even more than TRIGGER's! He jumped out in the middle and the stage was on fire! Not to mention, his voice was THE BEST!!"

"NO WAY I'M SO JEALOUS OMG"

**-at Takanashi Productions** -

"Everyone is talking about this new idol, Kujou Riku" Nikaido Yamato started the topic after their meeting with Takanashi Otoharu, the president.

"Yeah...this could be a problem. He became popular almost overnight." With his hand on his chin, Iori thought hard. Not only he is the centre of I6, he also secretly helps Tsumugi manage the group.

"Apparently, his production agency is very powerful, despite not trying to put their name out there" Tsumugi told everyone what she knew. "They have a lot of connections"

"Kujou Riku, huh?" Mitsuki wondered. "What does he look like?" As soon as Sougo heard that he took a phone and searched for Riku's photo, which came up right away. "Here" Everyone gathered around Sougo.

"OH his eyes are very RED" Nagi spoke.

"He doesn't look that awesome to me" Tamaki talked while eating his Ousama pudding. "Tamaki-kun!" Sougo snapped as a warning to Tamaki not to be rude.

"A lot of people said his concert was very powerful. And on top of that, his voice is incredibly good." Tsumugi said feeling a little down.

Silence filled the room. After a while Mitsuki could not stand the gloom. "Well, we just need to do our best right?" He ran to the door. "Let's practice everyone! We've got Music Festa coming up!"

"YEAH!" Feeling Mitsuki's energy, the members shouted and followed him to the practice room.

~~

- **Two weeks later, at Yaotome Productions** -

"This is not looking good at all, president. That boy, Kujou Riku, he's gaining so much fame and terribly quickly" Anesagi expressed his concern to Yaotome Sousuke, the president of Yaotome Pro. "At this rate he is going to surpass TRIGGER, and we have that other idol group to worry about too!" She could hardly stand still.

Sousuke slammed the table hard. "Damn it, that no name agency, how come it has so many connections?!?" His anger was through the roof.

- **TRIGGER** -

The three members were chatting happily as they were going out for some late night Udon after work.  
As soon as TRIGGER stepped into the udon shop, they could hear a singing voice coming from the TV. Ryuu and Gaku were talking loudly, but Tenn was bothered by something. "Quiet, you two." Tenn did a shhh sound and walked closer to the shop's TV. Gaku was confused about what was going on. The two followed Tenn anyway.

In the TV, a young boy appeared jumping out from the back of the stage and sang like it was the end of the world. "Ho, that's really good. I wonder who that is." Ryuu spoke in awe. Even Gaku could not hide his amazed face.

Tenn's hands shook. He turned very pale. "T...that...can't be...! That's...!" Tenn was in shock from seeing a redhead boy in the TV. It was Riku, his long lost twin brother.

"Kujou Riku's the name. Remember it well!" Riku shouted at the end out his performance. The audience screamed so loud someone could go deaf. That name kept repeating in Tenn's head.

"K...Kujou..." Tenn felt like his whole body became weak. It did not take long for his knees to flop. Fortunately, Gaku caught him.

"Oi, Tenn what's wrong? Tenn!"

Everything became blurry around Tenn and the boy passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hewlo lovely people, Kenar desu~  
> So you might have already noticed. Trigger members appear more friendly in this story. Tenn is a lot softer, basically a genuine angel (ehehe). Riku is, well, let's not spoil that just yet~ :P  
> I hope you like this intro kinda thing about how powerful Riku is. Teehee~   
> PLEASE COMMENT!!!


	3. Kujou Riku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kujou Riku and Nanase Tenn met for the first time in years at Music Festa! How did that go?

_*cough cough*_ "Huff...huff..."

Riku's manager rushed in with some oxygen and inhaler. The boy might have delivered a powerful performance. The fact remained that he has a problem with his breathing, but it is manageable if he is careful. Plus, his manager was instructed by Kujou himself on how to deal with Riku's illness. And more importantly, how to control Riku's actions.

Riku quickly recovered after using the inhaler. "Manager-san, am I done for the day?" Riku asked the manager. It's been so long since he last came to Japan. He wanted to take a walk. The manager nodded and said Riku is free to go anywhere as long as he tries not to stand out too much.

Even to his manager, Riku could not smile. "Remember, Riku. Crush anyone who gets in your way. Show them you are powerful. That you are the only person worthy of the crown, standing on top" Kujou has said those words probably a million times as Riku grew up.

_I wonder if I still remember how to smile._

Riku sighed as he walked around the city, looking at shops with cute things. Of course he had to cover his face and wore sunglasses. Although he's only been in the industry for weeks, his popularity is through the roof.

Riku isn't very good at showing his true emotions since he wasn't allow to "feel too much" growing up. Again, Kujou wanted him to maintain a powerful image. People are usually too scared to even approach Riku as he seems...unreachable. Kujou doesn't care how Riku acts when he is on his own.

But he is now an idol. Almost everywhere he goes, he has to be in his "unreachable mode"

As soon as Riku got home at night his manager called him. He was invited to perform at Music Festa, a huge live broadcast that any indie artists would die to be there. Riku wasn't sure how he felt. He was glad he could bring smiles and excitement to people's faces when he sang, even under Kujou's control. Then again, He would rather show his true self and sing with his true feelings.

_My true feelings...huh? I wonder what they are_

"You will be meeting a few other idols at Music Festa. Keep your interactions to a minimal. Kujou, understood?" Riku's manager's words stabbed him in the chest. _So I can't even be friends to people in the same industry?_

Actually, Kujou pressured Nanase's entertainment business into bankruptcy because he wanted Tenn, but Riku overheard the adult's conversation. He was too little to grasp what was going on at the time, but as a kid he knew Tenn was in trouble. So instead, Riku presented himself to Kujou in order to protect Tenn.

"Tenn...-nii" Riku sat on his bed and hugged his knees. He felt like crying. He wasn't sure how to. He couldn't cry. The only thing he knew was he wanted to be in his brother's arms, especially when he felt so much pain like this.

Riku took his usual medications and lied in bed until he could fall asleep.

~~

- **Music Festa** -

"Welcome back to the the biggest live music broadcast, Music Festa! We've been running for 4 hours straight now!" Mr.Shimooka worked hard as an MC for this event. People throughout Japan are glued to their TVs to wait for their favourite idols to turn up.

"Now the next three are the hot bunch! I'm sure you have been waiting for them to make appearance!"

The audience screamed in excitement. "One of them must be TRIGGER!" The whole room was filled with chatter. "Or maybe that boy, Kujou Riku! I REALLY want to see him up close!"

~~

"Tenn, are you sure you are okay?" Ryuu expressed his concern.

Since the day he found out about Riku, Tenn had been quite depressed. Confused. Stressed. He didn't want to bother his friends about his personal problem. Gaku had a different idea though.

"Oi, Tenn." Gaku stood in front of Tenn, reached his hand to push Tenn's chin up, forcing an eye contact.

"...! Gaku?" Tenn's pink eyes was welled with tears. He simply could not take it.

"Tenn..." That shocked Gaku a little. They had to perform in about half an hour. That was not the point though. Gaku was genuinely worried about his friend. "Tell us what's wrong"

"Tenn, please" Ryuu added and looked behind him to find Anesagi. Anesagi nodded and left the room, giving TRIGGER their privacy.

Tenn hesitated for seconds before deciding to tell his dear friends. "I...I have a twin brother"

"You have a WHAT?" Gaku expected something groundbreaking, but certainly not that. "So?" He might have sounded insensitive. Tenn knew though that Gaku cared deeply about him.

"We were separated when we...were little" The tears starting flowing down. Tenn could not hold them back any longer. "A..And now he suddenly appeared...as Kujou Riku" The moment Tenn said that name, Ryuu and Gaku looked at each other in surprise.

"Oi, Oi, seriously...?" Gaku said quietly not directing it at anyone. Both Ryuu and Gaku remembered the performance on the TV they saw that day. Then Gaku had an idea.

"Tenn, today might be your lucky day. I heard Kujou Riku is performing right after us and before IDOLiSH6" Ryuu smiled of hope. Maybe the brothers could reunite today...!

Tenn looked up quickly after hearing that. "Really?" That moment they heard a knock and Anesagi opened the door. "What's with this gloomy atmosphere? Get ready and head out at once. There's not much time left" After a few minutes, the three was heading to the stage. On the way, Kujou Riku and his manager was walking past...

15 minutes left before Trigger had to be on standby.

"...! Riku!" Tenn slipped out Riku's name without knowing he did. Riku came to a sudden stop hearing that familiar voice. The red eyes went wide after their eyes met.

_Tenn-nii! What is he doing here?_ Riku never knew before that his brother became an idol. Right at that moment Riku really wanted to jump in to hug his brother, but his manager was right there with him. _But..but...no I really want to talk to Tenn-nii...but..._ Riku was not prepared for that. Not at all.

"Kujou" The redhead's manager spoke quietly as a reminder that Riku was not allowed to associate with other idols if they were not working together.

_...nnggghhh... Tenn-nii I am so, so sorry._ Riku tightened his fist before getting himself together and look up.

"What business have you got with me?" Riku spoke in a cold tone. He stared into Tenn's eyes, not showing any kind of affection at all.

"....!" Tenn was in shock. Ryuu had to grab Tenn's fragile body to make sure he was alright. Rage consumed Gaku. "Oi! This is not how you talk to your brother!"

Riku bit his lip before forcing out a reply "I have no idea what you are talking about" With that Riku and his manager exited the scene, leaving Tenn flopping to the ground, shaking.

_....damn it! Damn it all! Tenn-nii...Tenn-nii!_

Riku got to his prep room. As soon as he closed the door. The redhead drove his manager's back to the wall. "WHY, manager-san? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME TENN-NII IS HERE? Why did I have to say all those things...! * _cough cough!*_ "

"Kujou!" His female manager scolded Riku as he was coughing severely. "Use your inhaler. And keep your emotions in check. Go sit over there. And don't go anywhere until its your turn." His manager, trained by Kujou, was as cold as ice. She was not at all scared by Riku's actions.

~~

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING!?! You have to be on standby now!" Anesagi stormed in from the stage to the corridor. "Eh? Tenn, what happened?..Argh! This is no time for that. You guys need to be there NOW!" Anesagi was stressed from her work as a manager. She would not be able to accept any kinds of failure today.

IDOLiSH6 was on their way to their prep room when they heard the commotion.  
"Nanase Tenn...I wonder what's wrong?" Mitsuki spotted Tenn on the floor with two other members standing beside him.  
"Ah...I really wish we could help" Sougo spoke, but every I6 members knew they had to get ready. They did not stop walking and went to their room.  
"Are they gonna be okay...?" Tamaki asked.  
"I'm sure they will. Remember when you carried feverish Nanase to the stadium, and he danced like nothing happened?" Yamato reminded Tamaki of the day they went to watch TRIGGER concert.  
"We can check on them later" Iori stated. "RIGHT, cuz we haven't had the chance to greet them" Nagi added.  
"Everyone let's do our best!"  
"YEAH!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day okay I have officially gone crazy. I write a lot when I'm stressed. Anyway,...  
> I'm sorry you have to suffer like this Riku // slapped  
> Please leave comments~!


	4. Of Pain and Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER's performance at music festa and Iori got himself involved in something he shouldn't have(?)

"KYAAAAAA TRIGGER!! KYAAAAAAAAA~!" The audience went wild as Nanase Tenn entered the stage with Gaku and Ryuu following right behind. They had a short chat with Mr. Shimooka on stage before getting into their dance positions.

"Secret Night" melody started playing. _Snap out of it!_ Tenn thought to himself. Trigger sang the first verse and chorus incredibly well.

However, the wound was too fresh for Tenn to take in. Yes he is an idol. Then again he is just a young boy. His body felt heavy and his mind drifted into the world of pain. _Riku...._

_....! Tenn!_

_Tenn...!_

Both Gaku and Ryuu noticed that Tenn froze on the spot. They realised he was at his limit. So they both covered and sang Tenn's part. Until Tenn got himself back again. That moment they realised they had failed. Tenn was more than overwhelmed by his action. _No...I..._ Even though TRIGGER tried their best to the end of the song looking like professionals, anyone could see their blatant failure.

Kujou Riku was supposed to go right after TRIGGER, so he was on standby, watching TRIGGER's tragedy unfold. _....n..no...Tenn-nii...it's my fault. It's ALL my fault._ Riku could break down or have an attack at any moment but his Manager's fierce gaze reminded him to keep his emotion's suppressed. Riku was sad. Sad to see his brother struggle because of him. Sad to see that he could almost easily shut down his emotions and put on a cold act.

"No way..." I6 also at the backstage saw the whole thing. They could not believe it. They were sure, something extremely bad must have happened. The professional Nanase Tenn could not have forgotten the lyrics otherwise.

TRIGGER exited the stage with their heads down, panting. They were frustrated. Gaku was partly angry that Tenn messed up, but worried was more accurate. Gaku directed his furious gaze at Kujou Riku who stood there, staring back at Gaku blankly. Gaku leaped forward, probably trying to punch Riku. Luckily, Ryuu noticed and used all this strength to pull Gaku back. "Calm down, Gaku!" Tenn stood there silently, looking down to the ground. Anesagi had to step in and apologised to Riku and his manager to protect TRIGGER without knowing what was going on.

Riku's Manager stepped in closer to Riku and whispered "boy, you know what to do" She could not care less about another idol group's image. Riku could come out on top without having to bother with dirty tactics. Riku could only receive instructions. He felt like his heart was being slashed over and over again but bear it he must.

"Hmph. Pathetic" Riku dropped one of the rudest words to TRIGGER. Both I6 and TRIGGER were in shock. Tenn felt like he was thrown into an acidic river with his hands and feet tied. He could hardly take it, let alone reply.

Iori knew that he himself has a sharp tongue. Even that what Riku said was way over the line. Iori stepped in trying to approach Riku when...

"Kujou Riku please go on stage now"

Riku took a quick look at Iori before entering the stage.

"KYAAAAAAA KUJOU RIKU SO COOOOOOOOOL KYAAAAAA!!!"

"My, my Riku-san, it almost seems like you have been in the the idol industry for a long time" Mr. Shimooka touched Riku's arm in a friendly manner.

"But of course, Mr. Shimooka" Riku gave a cool smile to the audience. "I am here to show what real entertainment is like"

"KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

~~

TRIGGER sat in their room quietly. The three could not think of anything to say. In fact, Gaku and Ryuu did not even know Tenn left the room secretly. Anesagi was busy talking to Sousuke.

I6 watched Riku pulled off all the hard dance moves and still kept his voice consistent. "Whoa amazing!" Tamaki smiled and watched in excitement. Nagi was also really into it. The rest of the members felt kind of conflicted seeing there was some kind of tension going on between Riku and TRIGGER. Well, at least two of their members were super pumped by watching Riku.

After the fiery performance, Riku exited the stage, ignoring everyone and went straight to his prep room. "What's his deal...?" Mitsuki watched as Riku quickly left the backstage. "No matter, its our turn now"

I6's "Perfection Gimmick" also was a success. The members were in total sync. The audience was happily singing along to a song that was more "light".

~~

"Manager-san, can you leave me alone?" After getting some oxygen, Riku made a request without looking at his manager.   
"You're done for today, do as you like." She didn't care about anything else other than work. When Riku finishes and is made sure that he is okay physically, she finishes. The woman walked away and drove home.

"Tenn-nii...." Riku was in a lot of pain. He remembered that day. The day he left his brother crying and screaming his name. And now...he hurt him again, in the worst possible way.

Riku started sobbing. Soon he broke and cried out loudly. Breathing was difficult like that. He did not care anymore. He cried. He wheezed. _I deserve this pain._ He thought to himself.

I6's success was not so much of a happy moment when the idol group they are acquainted with were in a slump like that. Sougo asked Tsumugi if it's okay for them to go see TRIGGER. Tsumugi of course supported the idea. She was a kind one and she herself worried for TRIGGER too.

"Not sure if they are still in their room. Though, we should hydrate ourselves properly first" With that Iori left to find a vending machine to get some sports drinks. Along the way, he could hear a sound. A sound of someone crying.

_....I shouldn't get involved._ Iori thought but then he couldn't ignore the cry that seemed so desperate. The dark haired boy follow the sound and found himself in front of one of the prep rooms. The door wasn't shut properly hence Iori could hear the hopeless cry. Iori checked the name plate. _Huh? Kujou Riku!? That guy who called TRIGGER pathetic?_

Iori sighed. _He really is crying a lot...Iori what now?_ The boy decided he could not just leave so he went in. This time making sure the door was closed.

Hearing the door shut Riku came to a sudden stop, but he was still panting. "W...who?" He looked back and met Iori's grey eyes. _Crap!_ Riku thought. The oxygen bottles, medications and inhaler were all there on the table. _Oh no...! He saw me crying and my stuffs...What should I do?_

"Who's the pathetic one now? Crying like a baby." Iori walked closer to the redhead. It was then he noticed all the medicines lying around.

"...." Riku could not say anything. _Why can't I stop!?! Why are my tears still flowing out?! It was so easy before...so why!?! WHY?!?_

Iori stared at the boy and sighed. "What's the matter?" _Why am I being nice to this guy?_

"...Onegai...." Riku spoke in his hoarse voice.

"Huh?"

"Please...don't tell anyone...* _huff_ *...* _huff_ *...about this...I beg of you." Riku made an eye contact. His gaze lost all the fierceness. Even Iori was taken aback looking at those soft red teary eyes. It was....definitely not an act. It could be, but no, something was not right. Iori could somehow tell they were full of genuine feelings.

"I understand" Taking a chair, Iori sat right beside Riku. "So why are you crying? What's with all this medicines? Where's your manager? Why did she leave you alone if you are unwell?" Iori didn't notice he was asking loads of questions at once.

Riku tried to catch his breath. He shouldn't even be talking to another idol. He wasn't supposed to let anyone see him like this.  The redhead hesitated. "Can..I really talk to you?"

"Are you an idiot?" Iori snapped back. All of a sudden Riku rested his head on Iori's shoulder. "* _sniff_ * I...I hurt him....* _wheeze_ * I hurt Tenn-nii and because of me...he...* _huff_ *"

"Okay, breathe" Iori shoved the oxygen bottle to Riku. The last thing Iori wanted to see was someone collapsing to the ground in front of him. "Tenn-nii? You mean Nanase Tenn? Of TRIGGER?"

"He's my twin brother...fraternal twin, so we don't look alike" Riku explain, breathing a lot less roughly after getting the oxygen.

"Hah?" Still, several questions still remained. _What happened between them?_

"I am not allowed to show my feelings like this...or get friendly with anyone..." Riku spoke quietly. "I..I'm sorry I should take my leave" Riku felt overwhelmed. He was never made to talk about himself so he was still uncomfortable.

"Wait" Iori search for a paper and wrote down his phone number. "My number. Text me." _I'm already involved. Can't just leave things like this even though it might just be between Kujou-san and Nanase-san. Plus, I hate to admit that I'm a little curious myself._

"T...thank you" Riku gratefully took the paper. "Sorry, I never asked for your name?"

"Izumi Iori. Of IDOLiSH6"

"Thank you once again. Goodbye, Izumi-san"

~~

Iori walked back to I6's rooms with drinks. _What a busy day..._

"You sure took your sweet time, Ichi" Yamato said when he opened the door. As soon as Iori set bottles of drinks down on the table, the group could hear people running. Curious, Nagi looked out the door to see what was going on.

"Ah...IDOLiSH6!" Gaku and Ryuu stopped when they recognised Nagi's charming face. "Sorry, have any of you seen Tenn?" Ryuu asked.

Everyone shook their heads. "Souka. Arigatouna" With that Ryuu and Gaku took off running again.

_This is messy. Very messy._ Iori thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I destroy everyone in this fic mwahahahaha  
> Just to clarify: yes it's IoRiku once again AND Gaku/Tenn (ෆ'꒳'ෆ) Although romantic relationship is not a thing in this fic (yet? :P)


	5. The start of Friendship

Tenn walked to a certain cat themed cafe under the moonlight. Of course it was closed. Tenn could see his own reflection in the window.  
"Okaasan used to take us here...." Sadness loomed over Tenn when he reminisced about the time he ate cake happily with Riku in this warm cafe. "I shouldn't even be here...Gaku and Ryuu must be worried sick..."

The was no doubt that Tenn is a professional idol. He has always performed perfectly on stage. Off the stage, he is a bit fragile. Honestly, he wears his heart on his sleeves. Gaku always looks out for him. Ryuu too of course.

"I knew you would be somewhere around here, Tenn" Tenn jumped a little when he heard a voice he secretly had been wanting to hear.

"Gaku...."

Gaku pulled Tenn into a hug. "Do you still want to cry, Tenn?"

"Yea...but I won't. Your shirt will get all wet." Tenn's face became a bit pink from embarrassment. Gaku laughed.

Ryuu and Gaku ran different ways to search for their centre. Gaku found Tenn first. Ryuu came not long after Gaku found Tenn but decided to watch from far behind. He knew how those two felt about each other. Sometimes, Ryuu felt a little left out, but he supported them fully. After having given those two enough time, Ryuu approached them.

Tenn turned to face both Ryuu and Gaku. "You two...I..am so sorry. Because of me, of my personal problem I got you tw-"

"Enough of that, Tenn. I know it is hard. I have my brothers too. If they did that to me, it would be so painful." Ryuu spoke and touched Tenn's shoulder to reassure him. Gaku nodded.

"Let's all go to the office. We've got our manager and my old man to deal with."

~~

**-Two days later-**

Riku went to a magazine photoshoot in the morning. Despite his manager having a cold personality, she arranged a loose schedule so Riku's health would always be in top condition.  
Riku was relieved he had pretty much the whole day to himself. Finally, he had a chance to watch some TV.

"TRIGGER...huh? I didn't realised they are so well known...and Tenn-nii is the centre too" Tenn's sad face appeared in Riku mind as if it was haunting him.

"Father...do I really need to keep walking a path like this?" It was then Riku heard a happy music coming from the TV. _Ah I wish I could sing something like this..._ That moment he recognised the group on the TV.

"That boy, Izumi Iori? So this is...uh...IDOLiSH6. They look like a fun bunch to be with...." _So why am I the only one suffering. Not just that. I make people around me suffer. That's my goal. To become worthy of the crown. Alone._

Riku stared at the piece of paper with Iori's phone number. He has been wanting to text him since that day. _If father finds out about this, my family would be in trouble._ In exchange for Riku achieving Kujou's dream, his parents are promised a life of luxury. _Izumi-san could get in trouble too...but..._

_I just need to be careful!_ Riku wrote a message and hit send.

Riku: Um, hello this is Kujou Riku. Izumi-san right?

Riku did not expect a reply right away. After all, idols are busy. Within a few minutes however, his phone buzzed.

Iori: Hello, Kujou-san. And yes.

Riku: Izumi-san, are you not busy today?

Iori: If you are the same age as Nanase-san, you are older than me so no need for formalities. And I am free until 1PM today.  
Riku glanced at the clock. 11AM. Wanting to talk more, Riku made a risky request.

Riku: Okay..Iori..then. Um, do you think we can meet up like now? Somewhere not too crowded.  
Phone notification went quiet for a while. _Maybe Iori doesn't want to associate with me._

Iori: Okay. Meet me at cat themed cafe then. See you soon, Kujou-san.

Riku put on a hat and wore a black eye contact lenses as a disguise, packed his inhaler, lunchtime medications and headed out. He felt selfish, nervous but at the same time, excited.

~~

"Nii-san, I'm going out for a bit." Iori let his brother know and went out before he could say "Itterasshai". [could be translated as 'have a good day' kinda thing]  
Iori was not sure what to expect. Kujou was the guy who made Tenn collapsed to the floor. He was also the same guy who cried loudly like when Mitsuki cries. And the same guy who showed him his true feelings.  
Iori arrived at the cafe and almost did not recognise Kujou because of his eye colour. The disguise worked well. They ordered some cute themed desserts then went to sit in a private room. Riku had made an arrangement when he got there just before Iori. Riku removed all his disguise stuffs when they closed the door.

"Do you really have to be that careful?" Iori asked. Okay they were popular, but not THAT popular.

"Yes, I can't let manager or father find out" Riku replied.

"Father?"

Riku explained his family situation to Iori. "...I was so happy to see Tenn-nii again yet I..." Riku looked like he was about to cry.

"I see. Basically you are Kujou's tool." Iori spoke without sugar-coating his words.

"Yeah" Riku should have been hurt by it, but he was not affected. Iori thought _this guy...his emotions are really unpredictable_. _Like he doesn't know how to deal with them properly. It's depressing._

"Iori, why did you decide to meet me? Surely you know if I meet you at work, I am going to end up hurting you and your group members." Riku spoke with blank lifeless eyes.

While cutting his cake with a pink and yellow fork, Iori replied without looking at the redhead. "Then at least I know it's not your true intention. Even if it is, then I know it's because of your screwed upbringing."

"Iori, maybe you are a bit like me." That made Iori flinch. "I can't feel anything from those words, but I know you could hurt someone really badly with them" Riku's expression remained unchanged. The redhead wasn't teasing. He simply spoke what he thought.

"...what a cute person..." Iori secretly smiled. _Not sure if his messed up emotions made him even more adorable._ Riku tilted his head. Iori made a fist to cover his mouth. "Ahem" He was trying to come up with a new conversation topic when....

"So like are we friends now?" Iori almost choked on his hot chocolate upon hearing that. _This guy...saying such embarrassing things with zero feelings..._

"Yes, I suppose we are" Iori felt quite sympathetic to Riku actually. _It's kind of sad talking to him, but I don't mind that. I somehow enjoy his company._ Iori adores certain kind of people. He loves to take care of them and Riku might actually make the list.

"Kujou-san, if you need anyone to talk..j-just let me know." Iori looked away. "It's not like I care or anything, it's just not mentally healthy!"

Riku blinked twice before thanking Iori. "Ne, Iori, why are you not calling me Riku?"

"Hah?" Iori was caught off guard. This time a piece of cake dropped from his fork.

"Didn't you just confirm we are friends now?" Again with that clueless and emotionless face. "So call me Riku"

_This guy...has so much to learn..._ "G-give me some time. Friendship has to develop over time you know?!?"

After a while, the two went separate ways. Maybe this was the first step for Riku to learn more about what his true feelings are.

~~

Kujou Riku continued to gain more and more fame. Finally he got his debut a week before IDOLiSH6 went to Okinawa. Little did he know TRIGGER also went there. Riku and Iori has been contacting each other on and off since that fateful meeting at the cafe.

"IORI" Nagi's voice startled Iori. I6 were on a plane to Okinawa. Sougo was making sure Tamaki was okay since Tamaki seemed afraid of flying. "Who have you been texting? Is she your GIRLFRIEND?"

"Oh right, right!" Mitsuki joined in. "You have been on your phone a lot more lately, so go on, spill the beans"

"Onii-san wants to know as well" Yamato smirked. The trio put Iori under pressure.

"J-just a friend" Iori answered, but the three were still staring at him. "Really!" Iori shouted, but not too loudly as it would disturb other passengers.

_They would be so shocked if I told them I have been texting the demon idol, Kujou Riku._

That's right. The idols who have met Riku have got a taste of Riku's cold personality and so he was dubbed "The demon idol" in the industry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe I would get to call Riku a demon huhuhuhu :P  
> Next chapter? I suppose I could spill a little: more light hearted stuffs in Okinawa >///<  
> Teehee~ Go on, comment away lovely people~!


	6. Okinawa

It was nighttime in Okinawa. Both TRIGGER and IDOLiSH6 were staying in the same hotel. TRIGGER booked the whole top floor. I6 was there to film their "Natsu Shiyoze" debut PV which was done today.

- **With Trigger** -

Ryuu and Gaku ordered some cocktails. They were hanging out in Tenn's room. Unfortunately, Tenn was still too young too drink so Gaku went to buy him a whole bottle of apple juice.

"As soon as you finish that glass, I'm refilling it with juice, Ryuu" Gaku teased the sexy beast as he totally does not make any sense when drunk.

Ryuu laughed. "Ahahahaha! Don't worry. I'm not planning to drink a lot today"

"We can never be too sure." Tenn smiled and added.

"By the way, has the manager told you guys" Ryuu started a serious topic. "It seems after I6 debut we will be working with them more." He took a big sip of his pink cocktail.

"Hmph! Must be my old man's plan." Gaku huffed.

"I6 is rising slowly, but by working with them we can expand our fan base since we represent different kind of images." Tenn stirred the apple juice in his glass with a spoon. "Plus we can't fail anymore..." Tenn looked down. He thought of music festa.

"Tenn, don't be so hard on yourself" Ryuu gave Tenn's hand a light squeeze making him smile a little.

"Isn't there also a possibility we might work with that demon idol? Sure, he got his debut, but these days idols can't rise to the top on their own. Fans always demand some sort of collabs." Gaku spoke without thinking. He thought Riku deserved the name "the demon idol" and he definitely was pissed with that guy.

"Gaku!" Ryuu had to remind the leader that he was upsetting Tenn. Gaku went silent when he saw Tenn's sad face. It's the face he couldn't bear to see. "Tenn, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Gaku." Tenn understood why Gaku would hate his brother. At the same time confusion stirred in his mind. He longed to know what happened to his brother who used to be so nice, sweet, and loved by everyone.

"Tenn, if it's okay-" Gaku took a sip of his drink. "Do you want to tell us a bit about your twin brother?" Tenn was in shock at Music Festa. Something was amiss here.

Tenn downed the juice in one go. "Riku was a sweet child. He was always kind and caring." Tenn smiled as he thought of the little Riku. "So I couldn't believe it when I saw him like that." Tenn shook his head and sighed. "I still want to talk to him. I really do."

"Even though he said those things to you?" Gaku asked as calmly as he could. Tenn looked at him with a serious expression then nodded.

"Then we will respect your decision, Tenn" Gaku ruffled Tenn's head like he was a little brother. "And know that we've got your back, right? Ryuu"

"Of course" Ryuu smiled. The three enjoyed the rest of their night chatting.

~~

- **Iori and Mitsuki's room** -

Iori was exhausted, being both a centre and a manager is hard work. He lied down on his bed. Mitsuki went to hang out with Yamato and Nagi in the room next door. Iori could hear their cheery voice even here.

Iori grabbed his phone to check for notifications. There was not any. _I am going to text him. I am JUST a LITTLE bored._ Iori told himself.

Iori: Kujou-san, are you busy?

Riku: Hello, Iori. No.

Iori: I am in Okinawa. We had a chance to go explore the stalls earlier and I got you a little souvenir.

Iori blushed hard. He actually bought two cute matching Okinawa mascot keychains after staring at them for so long at the shop. He just kept thinking of Kujou that he had to buy it. _Only because he is a pitiful guy with no friends. That's all!_

Riku: Souvenir? Thank you.

Iori could see Kujou's face in his mind. Red eyes with blank stare, saying Thank you like a robot. He sighed. _This guy is truly hopeless._

Iori: Shouldn't you be more excited, Kujou-san?

Riku: Excited? Why?

Iori facepalmed hard.

Iori: Aren't you curious what it is? Or grateful that you got something from someone? Or happy that someone cares about you?

Iori: T-that was just hypothetical obviously.

Riku went quiet. Iori wondered where he went in the middle of their conversation, especially when he was lecturing Riku. He was about to put his phone down when suddenly his ringtone "perfection gimmick" went off. Iori's mouth dropped. _HE CALLED ME!?!_

"Hello, Kujou-san?"

"Um..I think..I am happy" Riku stuttered

"What?" Iori wasn't sure he was ready for this.

"I said I think I am happy..t.that you bought me something"

Explosion happened in Iori's head. _CUTENESS OVERLOAD HELP!!_

"K..Kujou-san I-I get it now." Iori suddenly felt nervous because Kujou went quiet again. His heart was beating 100 times faster than when he was dancing. "Kujou-san?"

"I don't know what to do, Iori" Riku tried to express what he was feeling. "I feel like, like something is missing"

"What do you mean?"

"Like" Iori could hear Riku took a big breath in. "I am supposed to feel happy right? When you said you got me a souvenir. I think I felt that for a bit, but it..disappeared so quickly. Like I never felt it."

"I see your emotion really is messed up" Iori spoke his mind, but with a point. "You mentioned a bit before that you are not allowed to show your feelings, so your mind shuts down any emotions you feel automatically I guess."

Riku felt the urge to cry, like when he hurt his twin brother. "Iori, am I a cold person?"

"You might seem like one." Iori wished he could see Kujou right now and talk face to face. "But you are not. You are just made into one."

Riku would never forget the last words Iori spoke to him that night. To Riku, those were like treasure. They were something soothing he longed to hear.

"You will change, Kujou-san. I will make you change."

~~

- **The beach** -

After Gaku and Ryuu left his room, he felt the need to get some fresh air, so Tenn stepped out to the beach just nearby. He took off his shoes and let the cold water cover his feet. There he saw two people walking along the beach, coming closer and closer to him.

"Ah, Sou-chan, it's Tenten" Tamaki waved and greeted. "Hey, Tenten"

"Tamaki! Don't be rude!" Sougo gasped upon hearing how Tamaki nicknamed Nanase Tenn from the famous idol group TRIGGER so casually. "I'm sorry Nanase-san"

Tenn smiled. "It's alright, Osaka Sougo. No need to be formal with me."

"So what brings you here, Tenten?" Tamaki was curious because Tenn didn't seem to come outside to find vending machine that sells Ousama Pudding like he did.

"I'm just here to get some fresh air." The water that touched his feet made him feel refreshed.

Sougo's motherly aura increased even more seeing Tenn. "Nanase-san, if I might ask, are you okay now?"

"Hmm?" Tenn kept his straight face.

"It's just...you didn't seem well at Music Festa." Sougo spoke in a quieter voice.

"You are kind, Osaka." Tenn smiled a little. "I am still a little sad about what happened but I am alright" Tenn remembered to be in his idol mode so he did not act as childish.

"What happened between you and that guy Kujou?" Tamaki asked out of curiosity making Sougo facepalmed in his mind.

Not wanting to reveal too much of his personal information to someone he hardly knew, he said "Kujou-san and I are acquainted. We just haven't seen each other for a long time so there was some...misunderstanding."

"Ah that is too bad" Sougo accepted the answer, and to prevent Tamaki from asking anymore tension-creating questions he reminded Tamaki of Ousama Pudding, and so the duo excused themselves.

_Riku...I hope you are doing well..._

~~

IDOLiSH6 debuted a week later with their brand new song "Natsu Shiyoze!" and really quickly after that Takanashi Otoharu and Ogami Banri got a request for a collaboration concert.

"We will be singing a collab with TRIGGER?" Mitsuki jumped up with excitement as soon as Tsumugi told the news. Nagi shouted "AMAZING!" Every single member was pumped. Even Iori was smiling a little.

An announcement about the collab concert was made to public a a day later and Riku saw it on TV during his free time. Riku grabbed his phone and...

Riku: I am looking forward to seeing the concert, Iori.

Iori: Thank you Kujou-san

Riku: I hope you guys will sing "Natsu Shiyoze!"

It was Summer so Natsu Shiyoze! would be more than perfect for the set. Also, because the song was brand new people talked about it everywhere and on social media.

Iori: Any particular reason why?

Riku: I like the song. It looks happy.

Riku: And it is nice to see you in beach clothes.

Iori almost dropped his phone. His face went as red as Sougo's favourite food. Yamato smirked as he watched Iori from the distance.

_Kujou-san...Baka!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the power to make stories fluffy MAWAHAHAHAHA   
> I've been updating almost everyday so far but I might have to put this routine on hold for a short while   
> ( ~'･_･')~   
> I'll see you when I'm back for the next chapter teehee~


	7. A Request

IDOLiSH6 has been practicing with TRIGGER a lot with their collaboration concert coming up soon. Iori really wanted to talk to Tenn about Riku, but knew he couldn’t as he promised Kujou he wouldn’t tell anyone about the fact that they have been contacting each other. Talks about Kujou Riku as “the demon idol” popped up every now and then during their practices. From the looks of it, I6 members except Iori did not like Kujou much hearing about his bad personality. The truth is Riku’s manager is only in charge of arranging Riku’s schedule, ensuring good publicity and looking after his health during work. Riku is left with all the talking. His manager is only with him to make sure he delivers ‘properly’.

“This is so tiring, but super fun!” Mitsuki lied down on the floor and stretched his arms after practice. Everyone in I6 and TRIGGER joined him. The two groups have certainly developed a good relationship. Sometimes, they go out together for a meal.

Tenn stared at the ceiling feeling a little dizzy. He rolled himself over to Gaku and snuggled comfortably. Gaku smiled seeing Tenn like that. “Geez, we’re not even home yet.” He teased the young boy while patting his head.

“Eh, do you two live together?” Nagi asked hearing Gaku’s words and that got everyone’s attention.

“Nah, but Tenn likes to come over” Gaku gave his honest answer. He’s the bold type after all.

“I-I don’t go there that often” Tenn’s face went pink from embarrassment.

“What, like every 2 days?” It was the truth. Tenn hard dropped his fist onto Gaku’s stomach. “OWOW! What was that for!?!” Ryuu and everyone else laughed.

“Surely someone in I6 must also be dating” Gaku spoke in a way that a good reply was expected. Tenn's eyes went wide to the fact that Gaku used the word 'dating' since idols are generally not allowed to have a romantic relationship. Iori suddenly felt like someone was watching him. Gazes from 5 directions were directed at the high school student.

“Iorin has been texting someone at school” Tamaki started. “Not just that, whenever he has free time too” Mitsuki brother added.

“I did clarify that it’s just a friend!” Iori blushed which did not help making his situation better.

“I am actually curious” Sougo smiled. “That person must be nice if he even earns Iori’s approval” He let out a little laugh.

“When you finally decide to reveal that lucky person, don’t leave us out of the loop okay, Izumi?” Tenn got up and went to poke Iori’s shoulder. Tenn has been showing more of his cute side as he became closer to I6.

Iori wanted to scream. _It’s your silly brother, Nanase-san! A-and it’s not like I like him or anything!_

~~

“Manager-san”

Riku phoned his manager after a tiring practice. There was one thing Riku had to do, and he never would take a ‘no’ from his manager.

“I will go to I6 collaboration concert, just thought you should know” Riku spoke firmly.

“Kujou, I thought you know not to associate with other idols.” Of course Riku expected her answer to be exactly like that, so he planned beforehand.

“I know. This is simply an observation to find out their weakness, manager-san”

“Hmph. If you insist. Know that if you are caught by the media you will suffer the consequences” With that, Riku’s manager hanged up.

On the day of the concert, Iori entered the prep room only to find I6 and TRIGGER crowding over a huge flower bouquet. No name was left on it, but the sender did leave a message saying:

“I’ll be watching you today”

“It’s kind of creepy but the bouquet is really well arranged” Sougo said while admiring the flowers’ beauty. “Wonder who it is from” Nagi spoke. Then the members went on imagining it was from their dream people.

_Kujou-san..._ Iori knew it was from him. Iori knew how terrible Kujou is at expressing his feelings. _Thank you._

Thanks to that concert I6 and TRIGGER’s bond became unbreakable. When I6 received the good news that they will have their own show “Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night”, they planned to invite TRIGGER as a starring guest for the first episode. Of course TRIGGER members were glad and arrangements were made quickly.

On the morning of their live TV show, I6 and Takanashi productions staffs were in high spirits. The idols were nervous, but 100 times more excited.

Until....

Banri rushed into the filming scene that I6 and Tsumugi were preparing, panting. “Big trouble, minna-san!”

“Ogami-san what’s wrong?” Tsumugi asked.

“TRIGGER got into the car accident on their way here.” Everyone froze on the spot when Banri spoke.

“No way! Are they hurt?!?” Mitsuki put down his things and went to Banri. Other members quickly followed him. They were really worried about their co-workers, no, their friends.

“Don’t worry. The doctor said their injuries are not serious. However, they definitely cannot make it to our show tonight.”

I6 went silent. Sure, it was a relief to hear their friends were alright, but the show. Everything was planned beforehand. Postponing the show was also not possible as the broadcast team were already heading here. The show was scripted in such as way that a guest star is definitely needed.

“What should we do...?” Tsumugi felt hopeless. Other idols would never be able to respond to such an urgent requests when they were not as acquainted as TRIGGER. I6 members were devastated. This show was a big chance. One huge step forward for IDOLiSH6.

It was then Iori thought of someone. Someone he is regularly in contact with. Someone who is also working in the same industry as them.

Kujou Riku.

Iori sweatdropped and thought really hard. _Everyone will find out the truth, but we are out of options..!_

“Mina-san” _This is it, Iori_  . “What if...we invite Kujou-san instead?”

Silence filled the room and was soon replaced by “EHHHHHHHH?????” Even Tsumugi looked at Iori feeling very confused.

“There’s no time to explain, but I’m sure he can work with us...” Iori spoke. His eyes darting left and right. “I can contact him”

The others looked at each other in hesitation. Not long after, they nodded. “Okay, Ichi, We’re counting on you.” Yamato spoke. “Is that okay, Manager?”

“Y..yes of course!” Tsumugi answered and excused herself to make preparations right away.

Iori grabbed his phone and texted Riku. The moment was quite hectic so no one caught on that the ‘mysterious lover’ Iori has been texting is Riku.

Iori: Kujou-san can we talk?

Riku: Eh? Yeah?

Iori hard pressed call the instant he got the reply.

“Kujou-san are you off today by any chance?” Iori jumped right to the topic. I6 were pretty surprised by how Iori talked to ‘the demon idol’. Their minds already had worst case scenarios playing scene by scene. 

“Um, yeah. I only need to practice today.” Riku stopped the music playing in the practice room and answered. _I wonder what is up?_

“The truth is...I have a big request” Iori started, trying his best to word things. “So we are doing our first TV show today...”

“‘Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night’ right? Don’t worry, I’ll watch it.” Riku smiled a little and replied. He really has been looking forward to it.

“T-that’s not the point, Kujou-san!” Iori was distracted by his own little drop of happiness.

“Is Iori okay?” Nagi spoke quietly to the others. “Are they fighting?” Tamaki also wanted to know. “Shhhh!” Sougo warned people not to get too loud.

“TRIGGER was supposed to come on the show as our guest, but they got into an accident...” As soon as Iori spoke the unfortunate word Riku cut him off.

“Accident? Is Tenn-nii okay!?! What about Yaotome-san and Tsunashi-san?”

“Seriously, is your brother the only person who could make your emotions go uncontrolled?” Iori said with a stern face. “They are okay, but definitely cannot make the show.” Pausing to take a deep breath, Iori finally asked his selfish request. “Is it possible if you come on it as our guest instead?” _I had to do it. This is for us. For I6. For everyone._

“....” Riku went silent. _What should I do? I really want to help him. But manager....Argh! I will think of how to deal with her later!_

“Understood” Riku gave his decision. “I’ll be there soon.” Before Iori could express his gratitude, Riku hanged up.

“What did he say?!?” Tamaki shouted as Iori took his phone further from his ear. Mitsuki gulped. The rest also did not know what to expect.

“He said he will be here soon” Iori smiled a little.

Under normal circumstances they would celebrate, but the person coming to work with them...

is the demon idol, Kujou Riku. Will their first show turn out to be a moment of delight or a disaster?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol I love childish Tenn in this fic //slapped XD   
> Hope you enjoy the story so far teehee~


	8. Kimi to -Iori- Night

Kujou rang the doorbell of IDOLiSH6 agency. Having been vigorously trained by his father over the years about idol work, nervousness has never managed to bother Riku. Today was different. Riku was not very familiar with such shows like ‘Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night. He was unsure if he could be trained in a few hours before going live.

Tsumugi ran down to get the door. She was surprised to see Riku alone without his manager. His manager would never allow this, but for once Riku wanted to try doing something ‘fun’.

_I truly am selfish. And I am supposed to be here to help them._

Tsumugi was too nervous to start a conversation with Riku who was following behind her in awkward silence. After all, there are so many bad rumours about Riku’s personality, and most of them are true.

The door opened to filming scene with all IDOLiSH6 members. Even though I6 were prepared to work with Kujou, they kind of froze a little. Riku decided he had to start. The redhead walked a good distance into the room and bowed.

“K-Kujou Riku...desu. I am looking forward to working with you.” He stuttered at work for the first time in life. That little slip up seemed to help ease I6 nerves quite a bit though.

“Kujou-san” Iori walked towards Riku. He wished they could have a little chat, but not much time was left for practice. “I hope you are ready to start.” He then looked at Tsumugi. “Manager, are all the scripts modified?”

“Y-yes here!” Tsumugi handed the script to Riku. Riku took it gently.

“W..wait Iori, I’ve never done a talk show before!” Riku flipped through the scripts. His confidence was not in the high. Riku did not have the heart to be cold towards I6 as a fan of them himself. Plus, his manager was nowhere in sight. The messy Riku was having an internal war with the cold Riku. _W-what should I do? How should I act?_

Iori seemed to have sense that Kujou was uncomfortable, so he grabbed and squeezed one of Kujou’s shoulder firmly as a reassurance. “It will be fine, Kujou-san” Then Iori lowered his voice. “You can be yourself here, we won’t tell. Just keep your persona during the show.”

“Right” Riku nodded.

“What’s going on here?” Mitsuki spoke in awe. _How can my otouto treat Kujou like that?_   “Kujou is calling my brother by his first name...”

 _It’s like they are already friends. Wait don’t tell me this guy is....!_ Yamato thought.

Riku knew I6 were talking about him even when he was standing from the distance. He got that a lot. Whispers and gossips behind his back can be heard on a daily basis. Riku took a deep breath and walk closer to the others.

“I’ll be in your care. (Yoroshikuonegaishimasu)” He bowed and when he looked up he gave a nice smile. The kind of smile that idols never get to see from Kujou Riku.

Fearless (or partly clueless) Tamaki started a topic. “Your dance is amazing, Rikkun.” At that moment Sougo’s heart dropped lower than underground. _T-t-t-t-Tamaki-kun!!!!_ He was not the only one. _Tama...!_ _Tamaki!_ _OH MY GOD TAMAKI_

“Rik..kun?” Riku tilted his head. Yeah, he was totally cute. Then he smiled again and said “Ah, thank you!”

Their moment of breaking the ice was interrupted by Iori reminding of the amount of time they had.

~~

“So, after the whole talk section here, Kujou-san will join us to sing ‘Perfection Gimmick’....” All idols sat in a circle and Sougo was going over the script.

“Eh?!” Riku gasped. “I have to sing I6’s song?!?!” _I am actually happy, but_

_Can I do it? Smiling while singing a song. Give off happy aura to people, bring joy to their lives like they do to me?_

“This is bad...” Yamato spoke, not meaning to be rude to Riku. “It was supposed to be Trigger performing with us, but we practiced together a lot before.”

“And we don’t have time to add another song even if we want to sing separately” Mitsuki sighed.

“I’ll do it”

Riku shouted with determination. _I feel like I can do it. Even if I struggle, I at least have to try!_ The only thing left to bother Riku was his lungs condition. The practice will be intense in such a short time. Then again his songs have much more vigorous dance routine.

I6 members saw Riku and smiled. “Right! Let’s do it!”

~~

2 hours of intense practice passed by. Riku was sitting in the corner, breathing heavily. _This is harder than I thought. This is bad. It is not easy to breathe..._

“Kujou-san” Iori took notice of Riku’s tiredness and approached him while the others were having their water break. “Want to come outside with me?”

Riku followed Iori out of the practice room. The redhead took a puff from his inhaler sitting down on the bench. “Here” Iori handed a bottle of oxygen to Riku. “You need it right?” Riku was surprised and wanted to ask Iori how he got that, but his condition pushed him to take it and use it right away.

“Thank you, Iori” It didn’t take long for Riku to get better. “But how..?”

“I suspected that your condition is chronic, so I prepared this after contacting you.” Iori remembered the first time they met, and they day they met at the cat themed cafe. Riku took a big set of pills during their meeting. The young boy stared at the exhausted Riku. “Honestly, though I didn’t expect it to be this severe since you work as an idol.”

The moment Riku opened his mouth Iori sighed and said “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

~~

“Hello, minna-san welcome to our first ‘Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night’”! Iori started the intro as soon as the camera rolled.

“And first means SPECIAL!” Nagi shouted. Yamato then explained “yes, indeed we have a very special guest, KUJOU RIKU!”

Riku stepped into the scene waving and smiled the best he could.

Several people at home watching the show went “NO WAY!” Or “OMG KUJOU RIKU!” Or “KUJOU RIKU LOOKS SO CUTE WHEN HE SMILES I CAN’T ASDFGHJKL-!” The social media was overflowing with the news.

Of course this would not go unnoticed by Riku’s manager.

The show went on for a while until it was time for the performance. “Who would have thought a powerful idol like you would appear on our show” Mitsuki touched Riku’s shoulder in a friendly manner.

“I am glad to be here. Even I need a refreshing moment from time to time, you know?” Riku winked. That probably killed half of the people watching the show. “And tonight, you can’t tell me to leave without singing one of your songs!” If this was an audience hall, the room would be full of girly screams “KYAAAAAAAAAAA!”

The 7 sang “Perfection Gimmick” perfectly. Riku’s voice and dance blended in extremely well with I6 members. His voice was like the last piece of jigsaw puzzle needed to finish the picture. I6 were already perfect, but Riku made it so that someone needs to invent a word to describe something more incredible than perfect.

 _It’s like he’s been here right from the start._ Sougo thought.

 _Kujou-san..._ Iori had a hard time not eyeing Riku even though he put 100% (ppffftt) focus in the song.

 _This feeling...this is...fun? So this is how it feels singing with other people!_ Riku once again discovered another shut down feelings he never knew he possessed. _I wish...I could do this again_

~~

When the camera stopped rolling every I6 members gathered around Riku. “Kujou-kun, your voice is really lovely.” Sougo spoke. Looks like Riku has got a new fanboy.

“Please, just call me Riku.” Working with a lovely group for hours, Riku felt like he could fit in better.

“Minna-san your performance was great!” Tsumugi ran in. “We got a lot of views.” Tsumugi turned to Kujou and bowed. “Thank you so much for your help, Kujou-san”

“It’s alright. I enjoyed that” Riku smiled. Even though it was hectic, stressful and tiring, Riku had one of the most enjoyable times in his life which he wasn’t sure he would get to do that ever again.

“I don’t get why they call you ‘the demon idol’, Rikkun.” Tamaki spoke. “Sure, you seem a bit uptight, but you don’t seem like a bad person.” The others seemed to agree with Tamaki.

Riku looked down. He knew he could not tell them. What hurt him more was the thought that if I6 ever crossed path with Riku again, Riku would cause them pain and suffering.

Yamato, being the oldest member sensed that the question made Riku’s heart heavy. “Well, I’m sure you have your reasons. You don’t have to tell us now.”

“But we hope you can one day” Mitsuki gave his energetic smile to Riku.

 _Iori, you are so lucky to be surrounded by these people_ Riku thought and looked at Iori. Their eyes met and that made Iori blush before quickly looking away.

“Come to think of it...Ichi, so Riku is the guy you’ve been texting huh?” Yamato teased their youngest member. Of course the rest of I6 quickly joined in the fun.

“Holy-! Yeah! Gosh Iori, of all people you’ve been texting HIM?!?” Mitsuki went to give Iori a brotherly hug.

“IORI you are VERY BRAVE desu" Nagi gave the young boy a thumbs up.

“Iori-kun Is this true?” Sougo squeezed Tamaki’s hand. _True we just worked with Riku, but this...!_ Tamaki whispered to Sougo “ow Sou-chan you’re crushing my hand...Sou-chan...!”

Iori was pressured until he shouted “YES” and ran outside the room with face as red as a tomato. Riku didn’t quite understand the scene he witnessed. He only watched it with a black stare. _Why did Iori just bolt out?_

“Riku-kun, why not stay for dinner? I’ll cook.” Sougo offered but Tamaki, while checking if his hand was broken, quickly protested saying Mitsuki should be the one cooking. “No one can eat your food, Sou-chan!” Yeah, Sougo makes everything RED with his favourite Mexican style HOT sauce.

“Ah, I am sorry. I really should get home.” I6 except Iori then said thank you again to Riku. They wanted to see Riku out but Riku insisted that he would be fine. He walked down the quiet stairs alone.

_Goodbye, IDOLiSH6_

Riku was about to open the door when he heard loud and quick footsteps. “Kujou-san! Wait!” It was Iori. He was holding a small polka dot bag with a ribbon in his hand.

“H-here!” Iori handed the gift to Kujou. “The souvenir from Okinawa”

Instead of taking the gift like someone normally would, Riku grabbed both Iori’s triceps and pulled him into a hug. It took a minute for Iori to realise that Riku was crying.

“* _sob*_  * _sob*_ I never told my manager about taking the job. * _sob*_ I don’t know...I don’t know if I will...* _sob*_ will see you again. A-and I6” Riku’s breathing became rough. His emotions were running out of control. Iori was in shock too. _Of course._ He thought. _Kujou-san’s manager would never permit him to take the job._ Iori felt so much pain in his heart. He felt like he was inconsiderate. He only thought about his own situation, not Kujou’s.

Iori hugged Riku back tightly. So firm of a hug that it gave Riku a peace of mind, even just for a few minutes. “Ku...Riku, I am so sorry. I am so so sorry.” Riku shook his head. He wanted to tell Iori it was him who acted on his own. He wanted to say that he had no regrets. And that he had the best time of his life today, but his words betrayed him. None of that came out. Instead, Riku tried to express his feelings by taking the gift...

And gave Iori a gentle kiss on the cheek.

“Goodbye, Iori...”

_I hope I can see you again...as the ‘messed up’ Kujou Riku_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee~ I hope that was enough to make you lovely people roll and scream >////< (lol okay I'm dreaming). Next chapter is still in the works so it will take a while nyan~


	9. Tomorrow will be better

TRIGGER had to be in the hospital for one night to make sure they really were alright. As soon as they were discharged, they headed to the Yaotome Productions office.

“Old man, what happened to IDOLiSH6 show?” Gaku rushed in, expecting an answer from Sousuke.

“Has someone sent something to them as an apology?” Tenn added. Ryuu was panting from running after the two.

Anesagi said she has made a preparation and as for the show....

“Why don’t you go see for yourself, idiot son” Sousuke answered and gave TRIGGER the recording. The three left for the nearest room with a TV right away.

As soon as Kujou Riku appeared, Gaku’s mouth dropped. Tenn and Ryuu both couldn’t believe what they were seeing. They were even more shocked to see the performance of “Perfection Gimmick”

“It’s like he’s a member of I6” Ryuu was amazed by how good the performance was. TRIGGER realised Kujou and I6 only had little time to practice together since they got into an unexpected car accident that morning.

Tenn’s eyes were glued to the TV. For the first time in years, he saw Riku smile. It might have not been as bright as it used to be when they were kids, but it was genuine. “That’s Riku...!” He spoke out loud. “That’s the real him!” Tenn could hardly stand it when people talk about his lovely brother as ‘the demon idol’.

“I thought you were just being a brocon. Now that I see him perform like this, he does suit your definition of sweet” Gaku spoke.

“I need to talk to him” Tenn stated the obvious. The boy looked like he wanted to rush out of the room and somehow run to Riku.

“Yes, we know” Gaku ruffled Tenn’s head. “We can catch him at Sound Ship.”

_Kujou, this time I will make it so that you won’t even think about hurting Tenn._ Gaku still gets angry every time he recalls Tenn’s, no, TRIGGER’s suffering from that day.

~~

“Kujou!”

Riku’s manager stormed into Riku’s house as soon as Riku opened the door. She slapped Riku in the face. “What is the meaning of this!?! You DARE accepted the job without my approval?!?”

Riku looked at his manager with his emotionless eyes. He had a plan. “Father instructed me to do so.”

“Kujou-sama?! That can’t be...!” The manager could not hide her surprised face.

“Do you doubt my father?” Riku gave the manager his coldest stare. She went completely silent.

Riku knows how much his icy cold manager fears his father. She would never, ever question him if he said he got direct orders from Kujou Takamasa. His father would obviously be against Riku going on another idol’s show, but if his popularity got a sudden increase, his father would not punish him. To Riku’s luck, the show was a great success. The social media and fan sites were filled with discussions about Riku and I6.

Kujou Takamasa is a cunning man. Only his son is even more cunning. In fact, Riku called his father the night he took the job and spoke like it was a strategic move. Kujou praised Riku for doing so, but insisted that he does not do this often. Meaning Riku is safe for now. Of course he can still contact Iori secretly since no one messes with his mobile. Although, he hoped he did not have to see I6 at work or he would have to be the usual ‘demon idol’.

_I have to thread carefully for now and listen to manager’s words. I6 and I are gaining popularity. There is no way I can avoid seeing them. I still want to keep contact with Iori but I think it’s best not to do that for the time being._

_Am I...in pain?_

~~

Iori grabbed his pillow and squeezed it tight. His mind was all over the place the morning after the show. He buried his face in the softness of the pillow. _That guy...he kissed me in the cheek!_ Iori resisted the urge to grab his phone and text Kujou. He didn’t know what to say anyway.

_Goodbye, Iori_

That goodbye pierced through Iori’s heart. He believed Riku would still contact him. He knew if any of I6 members met him coincidentally somewhere Riku would be nice to them. But of course they were idols. They will meet at work eventually, and that would be when his ‘Riku’ is nowhere in sight.

“I’m sorry, Kujou-san”

Iori walked out of his room to find everyone in the dining area, waiting for his brother to serve breakfast.

“IORI is up late today, isn’t that unusual” Nagi spoke.

“What’s the matter, Ichi?” Yamato couldn’t help noticing that Iori looked a little down.

“It’s nothing, Nikaido-san” Iori was a terrible liar. Not a single person believed that.

“It’s clear as day that you have something on your mind.” Mitsuki set plates of omurice down and walked to his brother. “Tell us what’s wrong”

“Is it about RIKU by any chance?” Nagi hit the jackpot. Iori’s eyes widened.

“He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” Sougo expressed his concern. Iori’s mind jumped to that kiss on the cheek he got. He had to look away, not making any eye contact. He knew no one was going to let him get away so he spoke

“The next time we meet Kujou-san won’t be the same.” Iori looked down. Sadness filled his heart. He was not sure he could bear it if I6 came to hate Kujou because of his fake cold personality.

“That, we know” Tamaki spoke. He wanted Ousama pudding before breakfast but Sougo pulled him back and threatened him with a fork, so he listened quietly. “Rikkun...doesn’t seem like a bad person.”

“Like I said yesterday, we understand he has his reasons. It seems like you know something we don’t and that’s okay, but if you are in danger or anything like that please do tell us, Iori-kun” Sougo spoke and the others nodded.

“Don’t worry, Ichi” The seriousness disappeared when the instant Iori saw the leader smirked. “We won’t think badly of your future boyfriend.....or is he already yours?”

For the hundredth time in a month (or less), Iori’s pale skin turned red. “N-Nikaido san! H-he’s a friend!” _okay fine, a CUTE friend._ At least he felt relieved that his precious members would not judge Riku based on one terrible encounter. Iori wasn’t sure if luck was on his side. Later in the day, Tsumugi told them they are to perform at Sound Ship, which TRIGGER and Kujou will also be there.

~~

The day before Sound Ship, TRIGGER had a strategy meeting after practice, about trying to catch Kujou Riku.

“So, Tenn” Wiping his sweat with a towel, Gaku started. “How are we gonna catch your brother when he is alone?” They did some digging and found that Riku’s manager would refuse without question if they went to ask to meet Riku directly.

“If I’m not wrong” Tenn went to sit beside Ryuu for a change. Gaku probably thought ‘why’ in his head for a second. “Riku will not leave immediately after the performance. People said he tends to leave after his manager and that would be our chance.” Tenn actually had an idea of why Riku would not leave right away. Tenn knew how serious Riku’s breathing problem is, and how it would leave Riku knackered for a while.

“Right, our performance is just before his. Perfect.” Ryuu said. “Will you speak to him privately, Tenn?”

“Oh like hell I would let him go on his own!” Gaku slammed the table. Geez, he is not so different from Sousuke when it comes to anger control. “I will be there to make sure that guy doesn’t hurt Tenn, and you will be there too.” He looked at Ryuu. King’s order from Gaku right there.

“What a hassle...” Tenn said when he was actually happy that Gaku got all worked up about protecting him.

“What was that, ungrateful brat?” Gaku snapped at Tenn. Ryuu sighed knowing what was coming: an unending couple quarrel.

~~

Riku was coughing violently on his way home. Luckily or not, his manager was driving him back. His medications weren’t helping him much. He wasn’t feeling so well in the morning. Working all day did not help with his condition either. One of his hands was on his chest, trying his best to calm his breathing when he was actually panicking. For the past few days, a rainstorm hit the city which was one of the factors that could worsen Riku’s condition.

“You’d better be ready tomorrow, Kujou.” Riku’s manager spoke as if Riku could control his physical illness the same way he suppresses his emotions. “Sound Ship is a huge event. Failure will not be tolerated. Now get off my car.”

Riku struggled to unlock his door into his house. When he got in, he did everything he could to make himself feel better. He lied in bed hoping on the off chance the pain would go away. At that moment he heard his phone ring. Riku didn’t bother to see caller ID before picking up. His breath was still quite wheezy.

“Evening, Kujou-san”

Riku’s eyes went wide upon hearing a familiar voice. The redhead quickly sat up. “I-Ior- _cough cough cough_ ” He got a little too surprised.

“Are you alright!?!” Iori’s face became serious. _That doesn’t sound good at all!_

“Um, yeah. I’m quite...tired.” Riku was used to saying ‘I’m fine’ to several people, but Iori is one of the people he wants to be honest with.

“Will you even be able to stand on stage tomorrow?” Iori of course was talking about Sound Ship. In fact he originally called Riku to talk about dinner plans after work. He had stopped himself from contacting Riku for long enough he couldn’t resist anymore. _Looks like I’d better not ask him now._

“I have to. I want to!” Riku did not want to see the face of disappointed fans. This is the time he needed to see those smiles the most.

“Are you crazy?” _He is breathing really roughly._ The dark haired boy became more worried. Riku went quiet on him. _How is he still thinking about standing on stage? Does he not care about himself at all? And why is-_

“Iori, can’t we just talk about something else?” Riku’s voice went soft, interrupting Iori’s train of thoughts. Weakness took over the redhead’s mind. The glass shell of his dead emotions became fragile, soon falling apart, revealing soft feathers underneath. That moment Iori wished he could go see Kujou, to make sure the boy was alright. He also wanted to give the poor guy the love and support he was craving.

“I miss you. I miss Tenn-nii.” His illness was making his strong feelings run wild. He was just like a little kid then, like ‘Nanase Riku’. “I feel so lonely, Iori.”

That night, Iori sang him a few songs as Riku’s lullaby. “Everything will be alright, Kujou-san.” He told Riku that he was right by his side even though he wasn’t there physically.

“Tomorrow will be better, surely”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I feel sorry for Iori more than Riku? ;-; nyan~ Right, hopefully Tenn will get to talk to Riku in the next chapter *wink*


	10. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Sound Ship

The boy with a slightly pale face walked towards the stage with his manager. Kujou tried his best to steady his breathing. He was used to it. He could perform a song with that level of trouble. Even though it was not recommended.

The two went to the backstage to find I6 and TRIGGER were already there. Riku forced himself not to look at them and only focused his sight at the entrance to the stage. Both TRIGGER and I6 decided not to say anything to avoid conflicts. Plus, both Tenn and Iori knew Riku was unwell just by looking.

_Riku, no! If you perform in that condition...!_ Tenn thought and tightened his fist. Ryuu and Gaku squeezed Tenn’s shoulder to help him relax even though they didn’t know what was going on.

_Kujou-san...! He doesn’t look well. Surely his manager notices and yet...!_ The high school student was angry but knew he couldn’t cause a commotion.

“Eyes on me, everyone!” Kujou Riku shouted as soon as he stepped on stage. There, he performed his newest hit song. The whole room was filled with screams and cheers as Riku jumped and showed off his tricky dance moves. His performance kept its full angst and power - the only Kujou Riku’s image fans were allowed to see.

“I hate to say it. His show is great” Gaku and Ryuu couldn’t take their eyes off the stage. Tenn felt like someone punched him in the gut every time Riku moved in such intensity. I6 were cheering from the backstage except Iori who watched quietly feeling conflicted.

Tenn looked around and his eyes happened to meet with Iori. They both had serious look on their faces.

_Izumi Iori....you know something_

~~

Riku exited the stage, breathing heavily and went straight to the dressing room with his manager. TRIGGER didn’t have time to be concerned as they were called on stage right away. Iori also thought he had to focus with I6 performance first.

The cheer of the fans were the loudest once TRIGGER appeared on the stage. It became even louder as the trio danced, selling all their attractiveness.

TRIGGER high-fived with I6 as they walked out. Tenn wanted to go see Riku right away, but Ryuu reminded him they had to wait to make sure his manager leaves first. TRIGGER rehydrated themselves then went to hide near Riku’s prep room. They wished they could watch I6 perform at that moment. Then again the three prioritised family’s situation.

~~

“Looks like you’ll be fine. Great performance, Kujou. Don’t forget you have a magazine photoshoot tomorrow at 3PM” With that, Riku’s manager left the room.

Riku’s breathing was a lot more steady after getting his medications and oxygen. Somehow he still felt a little dizzy and tired. _This is weird...? I thought I got better. Why is everything getting blurry?_

“That’s our cue!” As soon as TRIGGER saw the manager left they walked towards the door. I6’s happy music could be heard all the way here. They were still on the stage, bringing entertainment to the fans.

Tenn knocked on the door three times. “Kujou-san, do you have a moment?” Tenn spoke carefully in case some people were nearby.

There was no answer.

Tenn knocked again. “Kujou-san?” He shouted. Once again, no answer. Tenn started to panic. _His lungs...!_ He decided to twist the door knob and let himself in, along with Gaku and Ryuu.

It was like that day Iori met Riku. Medications were everywhere on the table. Except Kujou wasn’t crying, he was sitting on a chair, having a bad coughing fit.

“Riku!” Tenn slammed the door shut and rushed it. “Where’s your inhaler?!”

Riku showed Tenn he had an inhaler in his hand. “Not..working” Riku forced the words out. Ryuu finally grasped the situation and shouted “I’ll call the ambulance!”

_No, no, no! I don’t want to go to the hospital._ Riku thought but he had no strength to deny. Plus he really needed help. His head was filled with ‘what ifs’. _What if people see me? What if I can’t work tomorrow? What if..._

“Gaku” Even though Tenn was childish and too soft at times, he was always calm when Riku had an attack when they were kids. He knew back then Riku needed him so he had to be strong for his sickly brother. “Go tell Anesagi-san to make sure this doesn’t leak to the media” Even though Yaotome Sousuke is a man to use power of the media to control people, TRIGGER’s manager is a woman worth trusting. Tenn knew Anesagi would be able to keep the secret and she could deal with the media. Gaku nodded and left the room right away.

Riku tried his best to calm his breathing, using the oxygen and everything. “Tenn-nii I’m...sorry” Riku thought of that day, the day he crushed Tenn’s feelings.

Tenn went closer to Riku and patted his head. “Silly boy, you have nothing to apologise for” Even though Tenn was really hurt that time, Riku is still Riku. His dear brother. Tenn was more than glad to hear Riku called him ‘Tenn-nii’ for the first time in years. TRIGGER’s centre was hoping he could talk to Riku, but it didn’t matter to him right now. He just wanted to make sure Riku was safe first.

Soon, the ambulance came and took Riku away. Anesagi was busy doing the sudden job TRIGGER got her. She would probably complained to them afterwards. TRIGGER sat in their prep room. Tenn breathed in and out slowly so tears would not roll down. The boy knew that wasn’t Riku’s worst attack and he would be fine. Still he wasn’t sure why he felt the need to cry. He finally went to Gaku and cried in the leader’s chest. Ryuu went to pat Tenn’s back, hoping it would ease even a little bit of pain Tenn was feeling.

_I will make sure you get to meet him, Tenn._ Gaku set his determination, seeing his lover in distress like this.

~~

I6 exited the stage, celebrating their success. Even though most of the fans were there to see TRIGGER, they managed to captured people’s hearts.

I6 prep room was just past TRIGGER’s. Iori was following behind Tsumugi and the others when all of a sudden his mouth was covered and he felt he was being pulled hard. Iori saw the door shut before him. He was then released.

“Oi, Tenn why did you do that!?!” Gaku shouted when he realised Tenn bolted out to ‘kidnap’ Iori. Ryuu’s mouth dropped.

Iori stepped back slightly in surprised when he regained his balance. “nnngghh TRIGGER??”

“Izumi Iori” Tenn grabbed Iori’s arms tightly. Iori actually felt threatened. He has never seen Nanase Tenn looking so scary even in his ‘professional mode’.

_Oh god this must be about Kujou-san. I bet he’s going to ask how he appeared on our show and all that..!_

_When I first met Kujou-san, true, I wanted to tell Nanase-san about Kujou-san, but I’ve been thinking hard about it. Kujou-san did PLEAD for me not to tell anyone. I have to keep the promise. His idol career could end if I’m not careful about spilling information. Plus I can’t imagine what his father would do to him._

“Tenn, stop it!” Ryuu instantly got up and ran to Tenn. Both Gaku and Ryuu thought Tenn was going to hurt Iori. It wasn’t unlikely Tenn would do something strange after all the things that had happened to him.

Tenn only stopped crying just a minute before, now his tears starting rolling down again. He squeezed Iori’s arms tighter. Gaku quickly stepped forward to try and pull Tenn back when Tenn yelled “Don’t come any closer!!”.

Tenn drove Iori into the wall. Iori yelped. He wasn’t hurt. He just didn’t see that coming. Even though Tenn was smaller than the high school student, he possessed a lot of strength.

“N-Nanase-san what are you doing?”

“Oi, Tenn cal-“

“SHUT UP GAKU!” Tenn then turned to face Iori. “Riku...Riku...” Tenn tried to hold his tears. Again we all know by now that it never works.

“What happened, Nanase-san?” Iori regained his calm and collected personality and asked.

“He was taken away by an ambulance”

To everyone’s surprise, Tenn ‘kidnapped’ Iori because he just wanted to tell the young boy about Riku. Tenn did that only because he sensed Iori noticed that Riku was feeling unwell. TRIGGER and I6 were close so he thought it was okay to let Iori know. Gaku and Ryuu facepalmed and sighed. They suddenly felt exhausted.

True, Tenn wanted to know about how Riku and I6 are connected, but he wanted to be the one to speak to Riku himself.

“Thank you for telling me, Nanase-san” Iori kept his straight face. In reality, he was very worried. _I want to visit him...!_

“Aren’t you going to see him?” Iori asked. He thought Tenn would want to be there supporting his brother. _Maybe it’s to protect their images._

“We would if we didn’t still have work to do” Ryuu shook his head in disappointment. He was’t the type to hold a grudge. When he saw Riku like that the only thought he had was ‘is he okay?’.

Tenn poked Iori’s obliques making him flinch. “Visit him for us, okay?” He smiled a little, letting his childish side out.

~~

“Iori! Where did you just suddenly disappear to?!?” Mitsuki screamed. I6 and Tsumugi were starting to be worried.

“Sorry, Nii-san. And Minna-san. I stopped by to quickly chat with TRIGGER." Iori didn’t lie. He really was ‘chatting’ with TRIGGER.

“Eh? They haven’t left? They finished before us.” Tamaki questioned.

“This is suspicious indeedd...” Nagi put a hand on his chin.

“What is?” Iori asked. _Did I miss something?_

“The thing is, manager went to get us some water, and she overheard something” Yamato started and looked at Tsumugi hoping she would continue the topic.

“Ah, yes” Tsumugi took a few seconds before realising it was her cue. “I heard Anesagi-san’s voice and she was saying something like ‘make sure the public doesn’t find out why an ambulance came here’”

“I wonder what happened....” wondered Sougo. “Iori-kun what’s wrong?” He noticed Iori looked down to the floor. Everyone’s attention was at Iori.

_I don’t have the heart to lie to my dear friends..._ thought Iori. The fact that he was sad and worried about Kujou didn’t help the situation either.

“It’s Kujou-san” Iori spoke in a quiet voice. “Nanase-san said he was sent to the hospital.” _Kujou-san, I am sorry. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t lie. You are a good person at heart and you deserve to be known that way._

“EHHH?” I6 shouted. Iori had to make a ‘shhhhh’ noise to make sure no one else hear this.

“Minna-san, the truth is...”

Iori began to describe how he met Riku. He explained that because of Kujou Takamasa, Riku was made to act cold. He told I6 about how Riku was terrible at expressing his emotion. Iori didn’t know the full details about Kujou Takamasa since Riku never told him.

“You MUST not tell anyone about this” Iori insisted.

“Of course” I6 and Tsumugi confirmed.

“But, wow, Kujou Riku and TRIGGER’s Nanase Tenn are twins? That’s almost unbelievable.” Yamato was surprised.

“Iori, you shouldn’t be just standing there then.” Mitsuki went and patted Iori’s head. “Go, visit Riku. And tell him we hope he gets better soon” The rest nodded to give Iori a clue that they supported him.

“Nii-san, minna-san...thank you” Iori bowed before leaving the area. I6 had no more work that day. Iori originally planed to have dinner with Riku which he never got to ask. Firstly though, he had to make sure Riku is alright. And he needed to confess that he told I6 about him.

“Hoo, never thought Iori has made this much progress already. Are you proud, Mitsuki?” Yamato smirked and mini-punched Mitsuki.

“Do you even need to ask, Ossan? I am SUPER proud!” Mitsuki beamed and the room was filled with laughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tenn omg >< what a cute person <3 Next chapter is still being written so uh please give me time teehee~


	11. Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I didn't plan for this story to be so focused on the relationship between Iori and Riku but my inner IoRiku did all the work. There's not a lot of GakuTenn, just a mention here and there. Don't worry, the plot still stands. 
> 
> You probably already noticed since earlier chapters but now that I've confirmed it. There's no holding back. Enjoy~! Teehee~

Anesagi did well. The information that Kujou was sent to the hospital did not go public even though some of the people inside the industry heard of it as a rumour. Then again rumours were unavoidable. However, a certain woman heard it and called Kujou Riku.

After stopping the attack, the doctor instructed Riku not to push himself especially when the rainstorm hasn’t passed fully yet. A good thing was that he did not need to be hospitalised.

Riku’s right ear almost went deaf when he picked up the phone while walking down the hospital hallway with a hoodie covering his head. His manager was scolding him badly for not taking a good enough care of his health. Oh she was furious. She knew if Kujou were taken away by an ambulance then someone has found out about his condition. Someone in the idol industry. The cold manager could not get more information but that was enough to give Kujou an earful. She also instructed the boy who just recovered from an attack on how to answer if someone asks about the rumour.

“Hmph at least you are not hospitalised. Get your as* to work tomorrow. I won’t allow any more failures like this!”

_Failure._ Sound ship performance was one of the best Riku managed to pull off. Yet his manager called it a failure. The boy felt a stabbing sensation in his heart for a minute, before his feeling disappeared.

_Why can’t I feel anything!?!_

~~

Iori entered the hospital and started looking for a certain red head. _I don’t even know if he is hospitalised. I can’t just ask the reception either but judging from Nanase-san’s action it was probably not too serious of an attack._

Luckily for Iori, his timing was great. From the side, he saw a man with a hoodie walking towards the hospital entrance. _That’s definitely him!_ Iori could recognise Kujou anywhere even if he was wearing a disguise. As soon as the man stepped out of the hospital, Iori ran after him. The high school student went and grabbed the man’s arm from behind.

Riku looked back to see who grabbed his arm. His eyes were cold. They were dead and almost scary. “Iori...what are you doing here?” Kujou asked with a monotone voice. Iori bit his lip. The anxiety and the worry painted over Iori’s calm and collected face.

“BAKA! Do you know how worried I was?!? Last night you seemed so ill and you pushed it today. Then I found out from Nanase-san you were taken away by the ambulance! Kujou-san, you baka. What if your attack was serious?! What if...” Iori spoke his mind without bothering to process the words. His eyes went wide when Kujou cut him off.

“It’s none of my business if you were worried.”

Iori hands shook. They felt weak. The younger boy did not realise he released the grip from the other boy’s arm. He was unexpectedly hurt. Hurt by someone he has been waiting for an opportunity to see.

Riku turned his back to Iori and started to walk away. _That’s right. I am a machine. I am my father’s tool. I do my job for him and my parents. I serve no other purposes. I have no right to feel anything or to get anyone involve in my life. I shall stand on the top. Alone._

It was true his heart was scathed, but Iori shook his head. He reminded himself about why he was there. What he wanted to do. _Remember Iori, remember why you told I6 about Kujou-san. It’s because he deserves to be treated nicely. It’s because you care about him and that you believe in him._

_Believe in Kujou-san, Iori_

Iori dashed forward to catch up and finally hugged Kujou from behind. The hug was firm and tight. The high school boy wished so that his feelings would reach the real Kujou Riku, somewhere deep in the red head’s heart. “I know you are in pain. You can let it out. I know you are a nice person at heart, Kujou-san”

Time was paused for a brief moment. There was no movements coming from the two. Until tears started coming out of Riku’s red eyes. They didn’t seem to be so dead anymore. Riku turned around and return a tight hug to Iori.

“* _sniffle*_ I’m sorry, Iori. I’m really sorry” Iori smiled a little and patted Riku’s back. 

~~

The two sat on a bench nearby. Iori confessed to Riku that he told I6 about him. Riku didn’t mind as long as no information was leaked to other people. He was more surprised how I6 were so understanding.

It was evening, but the sky seemed more grey than it should have been. The wind started blowing stronger. Looks like it was about to rain again. Not good. Riku’s condition was affected by a sudden change in weather.

“... _cough!_ ”

“Kujou-san, let’s get you home” _Kujou-san is still not well, dinner plan will have to wait._ Iori took his phone and handed it to Kujou to type in his address for a taxi.

“Iori, will you * _cough*_ come over?” Riku’s eyes of nothingness changed to baby doll eyes. Again, his illness was playing with his emotion. Iori made a mistake of looking at the pair of pretty, sad eyes. _Too cute...!_

Iori was glad he ended up coming with Kujou. Riku was coughing quite badly on their way home. “Kujou-san, are you sure you are okay?” Iori asked. No matter how he looked, Riku was in a bad shape.

“Yeah...it’s normal” Kujou answered. “I’m used to it.” Iori’s heart sank thinking that Riku had to go through something like this when it was cold or raining outside.

When Riku let Iori into his house, he turned to the young boy. “Iori, are you hungry?”

“You are asking that at a time like this?” Iori frowned.

“Yea * _wheeze_ _*_ I can cook...” It wasn’t a lie. Riku can cook decent food, but he was extremely clumsy. He used to break 4-5 plates and cups on a daily basis so now he switched some of them to the more durable type. Still, even those could not escape Riku’s ultimate plate finisher moves.

“Not a chance, Kujou-san. You go sit down. I will cook.” Iori put down his belongings and followed Riku into the kitchen.

“But you are a guest, Iori” Riku argued.

“And you are hopelessly sick” Iori’s sharp tongue was at it again. The student happened to look in the bin. “God...Kujou-san, are those...broken plates?”

“Ahhhhh!” Riku shouted as he looked through the cupboards. “I forgot I only have one plate left....” Iori facepalmed hard. _H-how?...Is this guy a dinnerware destroyer or something?_

Iori sighed. “We’re getting a takeaway” Before he could walk away though, Riku grabbed his arm. “Wait, there’s a really nice Soba place nearby. If you are not too hungry, we can go later near closing time”

Iori was about to refuse when his selfishness took over. He has been wanting to go for dinner with Riku and the chance was now. “Cute....” Iori slipped.

“Huh?” Riku tilted his head.

“* _ahem*_ Nothing! We could go, but only if you get better” Iori blushed as he saw Riku smiled.

Iori texted his brother to let I6 know he would be home late tonight. Then, he grabbed his school stuffs to start doing homework and revision at the table. Kujou went to sit on the couch and read stuffs on the social media. Normally, his place was always quiet like this but...

_What am I feeling...? It’s such a soothing sensation. It’s not like Iori and I are talking._

_I want to feel like this forever...._

Soon, Riku fell asleep on the couch.

~~

Riku was in a large unknown mansion with a long corridor. There were several rooms. Riku tried opening the doors to find a way out, but all of them were locked. Even though Riku kept walking he felt like he was standing on the same spot. There was no end to this. Riku got a sense of relief when finally one of the doors was remained unlocked. As soon as he opened it, a huge ocean wave appeared and consumed him. He heard a familiar voice.

_“You can never escape from me”_

Riku suddenly woke from his nightmare, breathing and coughing heavily. As soon as Iori heard that, he put his pen down and rushed to Riku. “Kujou-san!”

“I-Iori, * _wheeze*_ can you get an inhaler for me?” Iori went into Kujou’s bedroom and found the boy’s inhaler on the bedside table. Beside it, Iori saw a picture in the frame. A picture of a small white haired boy hugging a red haired boy, smiling happily.

_That must be Nanase-san and Kujou-san when they were little._ Iori felt heavyhearted seeing how the two were separated now. He has never seen Riku smile like that before in his life. Iori had to stop his train of thought and quickly walked back to Kujou.

Iori watched as Riku took an inhaler to his mouth. _Kujou-san, I will make you smile like that again one day_

“Thanks, Iori.” Riku’s attack calmed down. He glanced at the clock. “Ah, shall we go?” Riku went to wash his face, wore his contact lenses disguise and packed his essential stuffs before the two headed out.

~~

Iori and Riku sat down at the counter in front of the kitchen, on the inside-most part of Yamamura Soba shop. Iori felt it was quite unusual to see Riku with black eyes instead of red, and a neater hair. _He still looks cute though._ The shop was empty by the time the two got there. An old lady took their order and went to the kitchen. Then, she left a tall silver haired man alone to take care of the order.

The kitchen was an open area so the cook could hear the two chat even though he could not see them. He heard them talk about idols. _Must be fanboys._ He enjoyed it when several different kinds of people came to the shop and talked about different things.

The tall man carried the bowls, ready to serve when he heard more conversations from the two.

Riku spoke in his usual tone. “If you guys do a collab concert again, I’ll send an even bigger flower bouquet”

_Collab concert? ‘You guys’? Flower Bouquet?_ The cook thought as he walked forward.

“Aren’t pollens dangerous to your condition?” Iori took a sip of hot green tea. He secretly looked up everything he could find about Riku’s condition. “And learn how to write a card so that it won’t turn out creepy” Iori thought about how the card last time seemed like it was from an assassin keeping watch on his targets.

“Hmm...should I send an Usamimi friends plush instead?” Riku tilted his head and stared at Iori’s face with his blank eyes. He wasn’t teasing Iori. He was just asking straightforwardly since he notice Iori liked them. After all, Riku did not really know about ‘embarrassment’.

Iori almost choked on his tea. His face felt so hot. “KUJOU-SAN, BAKA!! Don’t send THAT!!”

“You two...”

Iori and Riku were so caught up in their conversation they did not realise the cook was already right in front of them, holding their orders and wearing a super surprised face.

Iori eyes widened as he realised he recognised the man.

“Yaotome-san!?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riku is a sickly boy ehehehehehehehe~ *evil aura expands* I wonder how much money he has to spend on plates and cups each month hmmm?
> 
> And Gaku you're not supposed to eavesdrop! Geeez


	12. Confusion

Gaku froze on the spot with two bowls of soba in his hands. “Izumi Otouto...and Kujou Riku?!?” Gaku had to take a second to confirm it was Riku with that disguise, but Iori spoke his name just now so it was definitely the demon idol.

Normally when someone recognised Yaotome Gaku at the soba shop he would brush it off and say “Nah, I’m not as handsome as him”. This time he totally forgot about it, especially when one of the guys in front of him was Kujou Riku.

“Enjoy your food” Gaku set down the bowls. It was still his job, he could not disturb customers, but he definitely would not let them leave after they were done.

When the two were full, Gaku came to sit with them. He was ready. Ready to fight with Kujou until he could arrange the guy to meet with Tenn. The tension between TRIGGER’s leader and the solo idol was high. Gaku didn't like him one bit. He was only doing this because of Tenn. “I see you have recovered, Kujou Riku”

Riku thought there was no point in being the ‘demon idol’ here. Plus, he owed TRIGGER for saving him. “I thank you and I am sorry for putting you through the trouble, Yaotome-san” 

Gaku’s eyes went wide. He was not expecting Kujou to be polite. Then a rush of anger surged through him when he thought about that time at Music Festa.

“Do you realise how much Tenn was worried about you? And look what you did to him. You hurt him.” Gaku tried hard to keep his anger in check and conveyed it through words. What made Gaku cool down a little was when Riku got up from his chair and bowed deeply. “I apologise for hurting TRIGGER. And I wish to say that to Tenn-nii as well”

_Tenn-nii? This guy, is he just acting..?_ Gaku directed his gaze to Iori instead. _Izumi Otouto is hanging out with him though. Just what the hell is going on?_ Iori realised Gaku was searching for answers so he decided to speak. “He is sincere, Yaotome-san” Iori was about to explain about Riku’s messed up emotion. He was stopped by Riku trying to do it himself, for the first time ever.

Riku took off his contact lenses revealing his dead red eyes. “I...can’t really feel, Yaotome-san.” He took a pause. “I do what I need to do on stage and I am told to not associate with other idols” Gaku would not believe it if Riku’s eyes were not looking so blank.

“....seriously?” Gaku wasn’t sure how he should respond. _A guy who can’t feel? That’s just messed up!_ Gaku’s anger turned into astonishment. He could not possibly get angry at a doll. Gaku just wanted one last confirmation.

“Tenn and I sleep together almost every night”

Iori’s face immediately turned pink. “Fwah?!!” Kujou just sat still. He blinked and tilted his heads “What are you trying to say, Yaotome-san?”

Gaku facepalmed hard. _You’ve got to be kidding me._  TRIGGER leader blurted out his private information (yes it was true) to get some reactions out of Riku. Most people would be like Iori, but Riku was Tenn’s twin brother. He expected more dramatic reactions. He has confirmed it, this sad man in front of him was real.

“It’s impressive that you can hang out with him, Izumi Otouto.” Gaku turned to Iori. Iori was relieved that Gaku came to understand more about Riku. 

“Honestly, Kujou-san really is hopeless. I can’t just leave him like that” Iori teased Riku. Obviously Riku did not understand what was going on.

“I’ll make this clear” Gaku got serious once again. “Tenn has been desperately wanting to talk to you for a long time, so next week, come to this shop around closing time again, got it?”

“Understood” Riku replied like when he got orders from his manager or his father.

“Good, see you next week then”

~~

Gaku could not take his mind off Kujou Riku whom he met two days ago. He has not told Tenn about the coincidental meeting. It was just too sad. _Tenn would be horrified seeing his brother acting mindlessly like a robot..._

During practice break, Gaku decided to make his way to his old man’s office. The leader remembered Riku said he was performing on stage ‘as told’. He could not bear it. _People should be able to sing freely from the heart!_ Gaku barged into the office. _This is for his sake, and Tenn’s._

Sousuke gave his son an annoyed look. “Old man, is there anyway you could shut down Kujou Riku?” Gaku asked, sounding demanding. 

“Idiot son, if I could do that I would have done it a long time ago” Sousuke spoke while drinking what seemed to be sakura cola.

Gaku raged. “What!! I thought you love to use those media prowess of yours?!?”

“Listen, son” Sousuke slammed down his glass. A little more force and he would have cracked it. “The family name ‘Kujou’. Don’t ever mess with them. They are extremely dangerous. Trying to touch them would be risky even for TRIGGER”

“DAMN IT!” Gaku was so frustrated. He threw the door open and got out of the room just to be met by Ryuu, walking along the corridor.

~~

“Gaku, what happened?”

Ryuu asked when Gaku walked back with him to the practice room.

“Your mind seems to be somewhere else during practice, Gaku” TRIGGER centre approached the leader and stared. “Are you hiding something?”

Gaku looked away. He knew he had to tell Tenn eventually. Even though he was usually blunt, Gaku cared a lot about Tenn.

“Gaku?” Tenn pulled Gaku’s shirt around the waist. He was getting worried. Gaku took a deep breath then let it out slowly.

“I met Kujou...and Izumi Otouto at night of the Sound Ship”

Tenn was stunned. “You met Riku? Is he okay?!?” He remembered that Riku was sent to the hospital that day.

“He seemed fine...but” Gaku leaned his back to the wall. He began to tell Ryuu and Tenn what happened. Both of them had the same face Gaku had that day.

“Poor boy...” Said Ryuu.

“Riku...” _Why do you have to go through all this pain and suffering?_

Gaku pulled sad Tenn into a hug. “I told him to come next week. You two can meet then.” Gaku smiled a little as Tenn thanked him.

“What happened to Kujou-kun at Sound Ship? Asked Ryuu.

“He has a problem with his lungs. It was severe when we were kids.” Tenn explained. “It scares me every time he pulls off those dance moves on stage” The boy remained in Gaku’s embrace.

“So he’s messed up both physically and mentally” Gaku blurted out what he had on his mind. Ryuu panicked. “Gaku!”

Tenn stomped Gaku’s foot making him shout in pain. “Absolutely Tactless. You’d better come over tonight. I shall give you a lecture about talking to people” Tenn pushed Gaku away. “Let’s resume practice!”

Ryuu had to hold Gaku back when Tenn went to put music on. “Oi, you damn brat!!”

~~

- **The night of the meeting** -

Riku had work outside of town until late that day. He was on the train back. _This is bad. By the time I get to the soba shop it will be so late...._

Kujou in his usual look of disguise sat in a private cabin, trying not to worry too much, but then he thought about how his twin brother would be sad. He was stressed. His feelings from somewhere inside his heart started to resurface again, like that day he cried, or the times he spend with Iori. He was tired from work too and that made Riku’s condition worse. He had to take some oxygen from the portable tank from time to time.

_Tenn-nii, please wait for me._

Riku felt like he would be less restless if Iori was here with him. Somehow, he felt like he could seldom get a sense of enjoyment by spending time with I6’s centre. The red head decided to try texting him.

Riku: Iori, are you busy?

Soon, his phone buzzed.

Iori: I’m doing my homework. Can we talk later?

Riku’s heart sank. _I guess this is disappointment...ah it’s gone again._ He didn’t reply to Iori so he would not distract the boy.

Riku stepped out of the train at 9:30PM which was half an hour after the time they were supposed to meet. _I’ll need around half an hour to get there._

~~

“That bastard!” Gaku being classic slammed the wooden table making the tea in the cups almost spilled.

“Calm down, Gaku. Kujou-kun might be caught up with something” Ryuu tried his best to lighten up the air around them. Gaku was frustrated and Tenn was worried. He was at a loss of what to do.

9:49PM Tenn stood up. “Let’s go home. I don’t think he will show up.” Tenn said with a straight face but his voice was clearly shaken. Gaku rushed to pull Tenn’s arm back when Tenn started walking away from the table.

At that moment, the shop door was pushed opened. The boy with black eyes entered, panting.

“Riku!” Tenn shouted and quickly went to support the tired Riku to his seat. Riku took off his disguise. “S-sorry * _huff*_ I’m late...”

“You took your sweet time Kujou” Gaku hissed.

“Why are you like this, Riku?!?” Tenn grew even more worried. He patted Riku's back, hoping it would ease some of his twin brother's pain. Riku was trying to steady his breathing by drawing in deep breaths. It wasn't working too well so he had to take some oxygen, which surprised both Gaku and Ryuu a bit.

After he felt a little better, Riku started explaining. “I took a taxi but there was some sort of accident on the road near here so * _puff*_ I ran”

“Baka!” Tenn hugged Riku tight. “Don’t put yourself in danger like that!”

“I’m fine Tenn-nii” Tenn was expecting a wide smile. When they were little, Riku used to say ‘I’m fine!’ while beaming. Right now, Riku only gave him a very little smile with emotionless eyes. Tenn hugged Riku even tighter. _Oh Riku you poor boy...what happened to you?_

Ryuu and Gaku were happy to see the twins finally reunited. Sure, it was depressing, especially for Tenn, to see Riku changed in a bad way, but at least they were together again. The three talked about how they grew up, how TRIGGER was formed, Tenn and Gaku’s dating life, and now, Riku had to talk about himself too and things took a serious turn.

“Kujou” Gaku stared at the red head. “Why do you follow Kujou Takamasa’s order?”

“....” Riku went quiet for a while before answering. “I was raised by him. He took care of me, and that he promised my parents would live a good life” Riku answered.

Tenn dropped his cup of tea and gasped.

“Tenn-nii?!” Riku quickly turned to look at Tenn. 

The soft pink haired boy went pale. _Does Riku not know...?_

“Tenn, what’s wrong?” Ryuu patted Tenn’s back. Gaku squeezed his date’s hand.

“B..but Riku...our parents...”

Riku tilted his head in confusion.

“They both passed away, Riku”

Riku felt like someone squeezed his heart for a few seconds before that feeling disappeared. Then he felt it again. TRIGGER could tell from Riku’s expression that he didn’t know.

Riku might have lost contact with his family since he went away with Takamasa but still they were once dear to him. They once made him the happiest boy in the world. Riku’s eyes started to become cloudy. Soon, tears flowed down and he buried his face in his hands.

_Father, why didn’t you tell me!? Tenn-nii was left all alone, father! So why? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??!??!??_

Riku cried loudly and screamed in pain. “Tenn-nii I’m so sorry” He cried in his brother’s arm. Soon he began to lose control. He felt the unbearable kind of sadness, the sudden surge of anger, the tremendous amount of fear and the dark void of emptiness. One intense wave came after another, repeatedly.

Riku couldn’t remember what happened after that. He woke up the next morning at his house with Iori by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I need to ask for some opinions here. My stories tend to have a lot of dialogue and not much descriptions about surroundings etc. Is that bad? I feel like I make then talk a lot cuz I can imagine them in my head but I'm the one writing it. How do you readers find it? Please let me know :D 
> 
> And one more thing, this story will end at chapter 17, but I'm really considering doing like part 2 which takes place after the ending (not gonna spoil that huhu). Would you lovely people be interested? ^^ Thanks for your support always xx
> 
> I wonder how Riku end up like that hmmm? :P


	13. Your Control

_Everything will be alright._

_I am here with you._

_So you don’t need to be afraid anymore, Kujou-san._

Kujou Riku suddenly sat up, woken from his slumber. He looked around in a panic. “W-where?” He found himself in his own bed. He recognised it because of the framed picture of his childhood beside him. It was already morning. The last thing he remembered was that he met TRIGGER in the soba shop. His Tenn-nii told him that their parents were dead.

“....!”

The wave of sadness, pain, happy memories and confusion came and hit him again. Kujou screamed. “AHHHHHH!” Riku grabbed his hair, digging his fingers onto his head like it was hurting. Soon, he heard footsteps. His bedroom door was opened and a dark haired high school student appeared in front of him.

Iori rushed to sit on the edge of Riku's bed by his side. Riku buried his head in Iori’s chest to cry. Iori put his arm over Riku’s shoulder. “It’s okay now, Kujou-san” Riku took a while to calm his running-wild feelings. Then he wondered how he got back home. “Iori, what happened?”

“I got a call from Tsunashi-san last night. According to TRIGGER, Nanase-san told you about your...family and then you started losing control.” Iori started to explain. He did not want to go through the full details, but he had no choice. Kujou had to know.

Riku pulled himself away from Iori. “I lost control?” He was not sure what that meant. Nothing in his mind clicked.

“Both TRIGGER and I don’t know what you were thinking or rather, feeling. Yaotome-san said you cried, then you started knocking things over. When Nanase-san tried to stop you, you...” Iori paused, hesitating to say the last bit of information.

“What is it?” Riku grew a little worried when Iori showed his sad look. “Iori, please tell me” He took Iori’s hand and squeezed it.

“You hurt Nanase-san. Yaotome-san tried to stop you. He didn’t know what to do so Ryuu suggested contacting me. I asked TRIGGER to leave so I could help you settle down more easily”

Iori thought about last night. There was much confusion in Ryuu’s voice over the phone. When he entered the soba shop, cups were on the floor. Two chairs seemed like they were thrown out of place. Then he looked at the corner and saw Gaku sitting down on the floor pulling the heavily breathing Riku's body, stoping him from lunging forward. Ryuu brought some ice from the kitchen to Tenn who was cupping his face in pain while still eyeing Riku sympathetically. Iori quickly ran over to Riku’s side and Riku did not waste a second to pull Iori’s body in. Riku was weeping loudly. To be cautious, Iori then asked TRIGGER to leave. He noticed Riku’s emotions tend to surface when people around him were involved.

Riku was exhausted by the time he calmed down enough to walk home with Iori. Iori was holding Kujou’s arm and patting his back the entire time while also making sure his breathing was in control.

Iori felt guilty thinking about the fact that Kujou texted him earlier that night. He should have stopped and make time for anxious Kujou. Perhaps it could have made the situation a little better.

Riku was in shock. “I-I hurt Tenn-nii?!?” He coughed. “No I...”

Iori noticed Riku started having the pained face again so Iori leaned in closer and rubbed Riku’s back. “Calm down, Kujou-san. He got bruises on his arm and face but...they can be covered with make up.”

_I-I hurt Tenn-nii again..._ “Iori, just what’s wrong with me? One minute I feel angry, the next I am terrified then..then..” Riku panicked and started to hyperventilate. Iori grabbed both Riku’s shoulder lightly, telling him to breathe slowly.

“You probably don’t know how to control intense feelings. Don’t worry, you’ll learn over time if you are careful.” Iori took a deep breath and squeezed Riku’s shoulder. He looked right into Riku’s fiery red eyes. “I will always support you, Kujou-san. I will be your control.” Iori could not believe he was saying such embarrassing things.

“Why are you so nice to me...?” Riku wrapped his arms around Iori’s waist and leaned his upper body on Iori’s, making Iori blush.

Iori refrained himself from pinching Riku’s cheek. “It’s because you are too cu..* _ahem*_ sad, yes, sad. By the way, Kujou-san, I suggest you take a few days off work” Riku flinched then asked why. “You are too emotionally unstable. There’s no way you can keep your image right now.” It was true. If he went to work and someone said something bad to him, or his manager made him say terrible words, he might lose it and repeat last night’s incident.

Riku hesitated. His manager would never allow this, but Iori pressured him into calling her. Riku pulled away from Iori and went to grab his phone, before coming to sit even closer to Iori. Their thighs and shoulders were touching. Riku sighed and shakily pressed call once he found his manager’s number, and she picked up instantly.

“Kujou! Where the hell are you?!? You should be here by now!” Riku had to take his phone 2 inches away from his ear. His manager was furiously loud. Even Iori could hear her clearly.

_Now?_ Riku glanced at the digital clock on the wall. 10AM. Saturday. _Ah! I have a photoshoot at 11AM! Oh no what do I do?!_ Riku then glanced at Iori who put his warm hand on his thigh. Iori nodded for Riku to go ahead and commence the plan. The high school boy whispered very softly “Your health comes first, Kujou-san”.

Riku took a deep breath and readied himself for whatever words his manager was about to throw at him. “Manager-san, I really..can’t go. I am not feeling we-” Riku was cut off by the even more furious manager.

She screamed. “Don’t give me that crap! I am not taking responsibilities for your god damn failure!”

_That word again._ Riku’s hands trembled. He might lose it again. Even Iori could not believe what he was hearing. He heard that Riku’s manager controlled Riku’s actions. He never thought she would be this horrible. Iori decided to pull the phone from Riku. “Fwah!?!” Riku gasped as he saw Iori having his phone on his ear.

Iori channeled his inner savagery. He wished he had as much of that as Gaku. “Should you really call yourself a manager if you can’t even take care of your idol?”

“Who are you?” Questioned the cold manager.

Iori forced his voice to be as low and as angry as possible. “I don’t need to answer your questions. Listen. Your fellow idol here went ahead and hurt TRIGGER centre.” Iori started his threat. He was frowning so much even Riku was scared. Riku wiggled away from Iori a little.

“Hmph, why should I believe you?” Iori could hear that the manager tried to act like she didn’t care, but her voice gave her away.

“Why don’t you go have a look? The boy was hurt and bruised. Oh, and need I tell you what would happen if words got out? You have a lot of connections, sure, but do you really want to risk your solo idol’s career? You do realise TRIGGER is one of the top idols in Japan, yes?” Iori could hear hisses of anger from the other side. He smiled a little knowing his threat was working.

“What do you want?” The manager spoke bluntly.

“Don’t mess with him for the next week. Cancel all the work during that time period and the information won’t be leaked”

Kujou’s manager did not think much of the terms. Her idol would suffer greatly and Takamasa would likely have a go at her if the information was leaked. She accepted it and hanged up. Iori partly regretted doing that as the manager could scold Riku after the deal. Plus I6 could be in danger if she found out who threatened her. At the same time, Iori could not just leave Riku whom he cared very much about.

“Iori, I can’t believe you threatened my manager” Riku spoke with his shaky voice.

Iori stayed with Riku the whole day. Luckily he had a day off, and he was all caught up with school work. The high school student had to teach a ‘messed up’ guy how to cope with overwhelming emotions. He also emphasised for Riku to call him if he needed help.

~~

Kujou Riku returned to the entertainment business after a week. His work offers decreased, but only by a little. Nothing compared to if words got out about him physically hurting TRIGGER.

Three weeks have passed since the day of the incident. Riku has gotten much better. The red head had not seen I6 and TRIGGER at work, until today. He got an acting role for the sci-fi movie ‘Nemesis’. I6’s Yamato got the lead role because of his great ability to express emotions, the exact opposite to Kujou. TRIGGER and Riku were there for supporting roles.

During one of the filming breaks, Riku said to his manager that he wanted to go get some fresh air and left his prep area. The boy walked to another place in the filming space, where TRIGGER members were resting. Luckily, Anesagi was busy speaking with the director so she was not there.

“Um, hello” Kujou greeted TRIGGER members who were wiping off their sweat with towels. As soon as Gaku saw Riku, he immediately went and pulled Riku’s shirt with full force. “How dare you show your face around here after what you have done!?!” Gaku raised his arm, about to punch Kujou when Tenn swiftly pulled it back.

“Gaku. Don’t cause a scene here!” Ryuu shouted. Fortunately, no one else was nearby to hear the commotion.

“Don’t hurt my little brother, Gaku!” Tenn was running out of his arm strength from pulling his date’s arm with all he had.

Soon after Gaku released the grip and lowered his hand, Riku bowed deeply. “I sincerely apologise I caused trouble for all of you again” He tried very hard to express his apology properly. “I am very sorry for hurting you, Nanase-san” He wished he could say ‘Tenn-nii’ but that would be risky.

Gaku gasped and hold out a hand as Tenn walked closer to Riku. Ryuu whispered to Gaku that it was okay. Gaku gritted his teeth and watched the scene. Tenn smiled at Riku and reached his hand to pat Riku’s head which Riku found comforting. Tenn spoke but kept his voice down. “I know you were suffering, Riku. It must have been so painful. Come here.” Tenn pulled Riku into a quick hug. Riku gently cupped his twin brother’s face where he hurt him to check. Tenn only smiled and touched Riku’s hand. “It’s alright, Riku”

Seeing them like that cooled Gaku’s head a little. He clenched his fist. “I could never forgive you for hurting Tenn, but I guess I can accept why you went crazy” Gaku looked down to the ground and spoke. Riku bowed and apologised again.

“We are glad to see you are doing better” Ryuu turned to Riku and smiled. There, Tenn held out his phone for Riku to type his number in. Seeing that, Gaku and Ryuu did the same thing.

“Kujou” Riku was about to leave when Gaku stopped him. He whispered something to Riku.

“Sing freely”

~~

JIMA was approaching. IDOLiSH6 were busy practicing, doing their TV shows and of course, singing live. Once again at one of the shows, I6 brought colours of happiness to their fans.

“Wonderful” A person walked towards I6 from the TV broadcast staffs while clapping his hands. He did not seem like one of the staffs as he wore a very proper suit and gloves. He would seem like a fine man if his face was not looking so pale and tired. “I congratulate you for being selected to compete at JIMA”

“Thank you” Iori spoke while carefully examining the man’s face and appearance. Before Iori could ask about the man, he said he had to leave.

I6 left the show venue, about to get on the new van the agency bought when Tsumugi got her driving license. “Ah!” Iori looked through his belongings and found that he forgot something. “Minna-san, I’m sorry but I forgot my notebook” The young boy bowed and quickly ran back to the locker room they used.

“Where is it? It should be somewhere around here...” Iori thoroughly checked the area. There was nothing on the benches or in the lockers. He was starting to worry because that particular notebook was full of things he wrote on how to manage I6, and it also contained some notes about Kujou Riku as he did a research to help Riku cope with emotions or searching about his lungs condition etc.

Iori then saw a man. The same man who congratulated them just now. That man was reading from a pink A5 notebook with cute Usamimi friends charm. Iori’s eyes widened. “That’s...!”

The man showed his evil grin when he saw Iori’s astonished face. “I see, so this is yours, IDOLiSH6’s young centre” He continued to flipped through the pages. “Stage lighting, group formations, practice routine improvements,...so you manage this group along with that naive looking manager huh?” The man let out a mischievous laugh.

“Please give it back” Iori tried to sound demanding, but the man ignored him.

“It seems you have been doing a great job managing your own group, but you refused to stop at that...” The man closed the book and glared at Iori. His evil grin dropped. _Such pressure coming from this man!_ Iori gulped.

“To think that you have been trying to manage my son too. Aren’t you a dangerous rat?” The man laughed again. At that moment Iori realised the man standing in front of him was...

Kujou Takamasa.

Takamasa knew from Iori’s reaction that the boy recognised him. “I take it you are the one who threatened to leak the information about my son hurting TRIGGER?”

Iori went silent. He never planned for this. There was no way he could come up with a convincing answer.

“I take that as a yes” Takamasa smiled.

_What should I do?_ Iori thought. _Confronting this man might be really dangerous not just to me, but to I6 and Kujou-san too. Then again, he had me trapped. There is only one way I could tackle this._

“Kujou-san is a very talented man with a great voice. Why do you have to go so far to make him shut down his emotions?” Iori spoke sternly. _This is it...!_

“That boy is a monster.” To Iori’s surprise, Takamasa answered his question. “To control a monster, you need to chain it”

Iori did not quite understand what he meant, but he knew that was the only answer he was getting. “What exactly is your goal?” _I am not walking away with a large disadvantage._

“I want him to reach the top” Takamasa answered bluntly. Iori grew even more confused, and now angry.

“Then there is no need to go that far. You are only causing him pain!” Iori did not bother to compose himself and shouted. _This man is the real demon._

“Wouldn’t be a problem if he can just shut down his pain, eh?” Takamasa threw the notebook to Iori then started walking away while waving. “It works as long as my son can deliver power. Power is everything in this world. I’ll see if you can prove me wrong, Izumi Iori.”

_Fine, then I accept your challenge, Kujou Takamasa._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how Riku managed to hurt his Tenn-nii @.@ he probably punched him?
> 
> Finally Iori made more progress hmmm? :P Teehee~
> 
> Just to clarify, yes I'm also on Wattpad but with a username KrSunshine in case some of you prefers reading on that platform!


	14. Sing Freely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay guys so I wrote ch14 the ending (17) but I spent a lot of time and considerations on the last few chapters and feel they are not good (dramatic) enough plus it seems like a rushed plot.  
> So this story will likely be longer than planned as I've decided to change the plot. With this new plot there won't be part 2 but this way I can ensure that the quality is maintained till the end. This way, the characters will develop more too.  
> Thank you for all your support always. I wouldn't be able to keep writing if it wasn't for you lovely people. I hope I can keep entertaining you all with my work~!  
> Kenar

- **Riku’s Place** -

_Sing freely._

The words Gaku said to Kujou Riku kept repeating in Riku’s head over and over again. 

_Free...huh?_

_I wonder if I actually yearn for freedom. I am fine the way I am now. I don’t really feel anything anyway so why would I care about being free._

But then Riku felt conflicted when he thought about that day he appeared at Kimi to IDOLiSH6 Night show. He wished he could do something like that, just hold a show and talk about himself, connect with the fans by not using the image his father created. He wished he could stop having to be cold to other idols and instead become friends with them.

_Even if I were free, it’s not like I will know what to do._

Riku wrecked another glass by throwing it full force to the wall out of sudden uncontrollable frustration.  _Ah..not again...and Iori already taught me how to cope with my intense emotions too._  Riku went to grab his dustpan from the kitchen to clean up the broken glass pieces. He saw his own reflection in one of the big pieces and paused.

_Should I talk to father before I end up like these broken shards?_

After cleaning up the mess, Riku grabbed his phone, went into his room and shut the door. He knew his father was in Japan, but the man already went back overseas without visiting him. He thought a bit about Iori.  _I haven’t talked to him since I got an acting role in Nemesis. I6 has been busy preparing for JIMA. I am also preparing for BLACK or WHITE which I got a direct invitation._  Riku shook his head, waking himself up from his own thoughts.  _Right now, I only need to talk to father._  Riku took a deep breath before dialling Takamasa’s number.

After two beeps, the man answered. “Hello, my son. It is not very often that you call me, hm?” Riku could imagine his father’s smirk right at that moment.

“Father tell me. I-“ Riku was cut off by Kujou.

“I take it this is about your parents, hmm?”

Riku’s whole body shook. The waves of mixed intense emotions were starting to hit him again.  _Breathe in and out slowly, Kujou-san._  Riku recalled Iori’s comforting words and followed the technique he taught. Then he grabbed a stress ball, repeatedly squeezing and releasing it to help him cope. It seemed Kujou went silent to give Riku the time he needed.

“How did you know?” Riku finally spoke after calming himself down.

“Boy, I know what you did to TRIGGER’s Nanase Tenn, and there is only one reason why.” Kujou was probably twirling his hair and sitting comfortably in a chair. Riku went completely silent. He thought he was ready to confront the man when in reality, he did not know what to say.

Instead, Takamasa continued. “So now you know the truth, Riku” Riku could hear the sound of the creaking chair from the other end.

“But do you think you can defy me?” Kujou spoke his last sentence before hanging up, leaving Riku in the cold. The boy was fighting for breath as his stress triggered his attack. He took a puff from his inhaler then threw himself on his bed, letting tears run down without really feeling sad. Riku curled up into a ball. A part of him wished he never called his father.

_Why...? Why do I feel fine just thinking about singing under father’s order?_

_Am I afraid of being free?_

_Do I even know what that is?_

~~

It was just 7PM yet Riku tried to force himself to sleep, hoping he would be just fine in the morning, back to his usual self - a shell without a personality. Somewhere deep inside his heart he wished the opposite. The ‘real’ Riku was probably trying extremely hard to make a noise, or he was probably already crying out the loudest he could without anyone hearing him. The boy twisted and turned. Sometimes, his body would tense up so much his hands twitched. Even though he was in bed, he felt like someone tied his body with a thick rope and that he was struggling to get out of the bind. Riku’s whole body was covered in sweat and the boy was breathing heavily. At one point, he tossed around so much he fell out of his bed onto the floor. Riku yelped on impact. It took a minute for him to get himself back up and sit on the bed.

_Do you think you can defy me?_

A rush of anger hit him again. Riku bolted out of his bedroom. He was losing it. He punched the wall, threw a chair, and smashed whatever was on the table. His coughing fit soon stopped him from raging any further. He collapsed onto the floor on his knees and cried.

_Kujou-san, whenever you need me, just call._

Kujou thought of his dear friend, Iori. “It’s so...painful Iori...” He weeped. “I can’t take it anymore...” Riku did not want to be a burden to anyone, especially I6 and Iori who had enough to deal with at work at the moment, but his situation would not allow it. He needed someone right now. He needed to see Iori. Riku went to grab his phone and without wasting a moment, he called the high school student.

I6 were having dinner and chatting happily about several things when suddenly Iori’s phone went off. “Excuse me, everyone” Iori went to his room and shut the door after seeing the caller ID. It was unusual for Riku to call without texting first. He had a bad feeling about this. Yamato and Mitsuki were smirking at each other knowing it was likely a call from Riku.

Iori was prepared for a long conversation, but certainly not for a sudden desperate shout coming from the other end. “Iori! * _sob*_  Iori I-I need to see you right now!”

“Kujou-san, calm down. What happened?” Iori tried to stay composed. That did not help with the situation. Riku was trapped in despair. “Please, Iori. Can * _cough*_  can I come over? I need to get outta here! Please!” Riku was pleading and crying. If he kept staying where he was, something terrible was surely going to happen. “Iori...”

Judging from Riku’s voice, it would be dangerous to leave him on his own. Iori told Riku to calm down and sent a location of the dorm to the redhead. He then went back to I6 to explain the situation.

“Um, everyone” I6 members turned their attention to Iori who had an extremely worried face. “I’m afraid we have a situation” Tamaki asked what it was while stuffing himself with dumplings. “Kujou-san is...really unwell so he is coming over right now” Iori explained how Riku seemed extremely desperate and that he might be in a bad shape. He answered Mitsuki that he did not know what it was all about either. He had an idea though. Maybe something happened between Riku and his father.

Before long, The doorbell went off. Iori rushed to the front door. When he opened it, he was met with an unbelievable sight. If Iori had to come up with a word to describe Kujou Riku then he was nothing but a total mess. Even though the boy came without wearing any disguise, no one would ever recognise him. His face was pale and tired. His red eyes were swollen. His hand was full of small cuts from smashing and hitting things. He was not wearing enough even though it was quite cold.

“Iori!” Riku shouted with his hoarse voice and pulled Iori into a hug right away. Then he broke down crying again. Iori had to tell Riku to calm down and supported him inside the dorm. I6 members were shocked to see the demon idol in such a state. Sougo noticed Riku’s bleeding hands so he quickly got up and went to get some bandages and creams.

Iori took Riku to his room and sat him down on a chair. Soon, Sougo came in with a small box. The others did not follow as they decided it was best to give Riku some space and a chance to calm down first.

“Kujou-san, look at me, breathe in and out slowly. We can have a long talk after you are more settled down” Iori pulled a chair and sat right in front of Riku. He lightly patted Riku’s shoulder as the solo idol was focusing on taking deep breaths. Sougo sat down on the floor. “Riku-kun, I’m just going to dress your wounds. It will sting a little but don’t mind me okay?” With that Sougo gently wiped the cuts with alcohol and put disinfectant cream on them. Then he wrapped the white bandage around neatly. Riku was so focused on Iori he did not notice Sougo left after dressing his wounds.

It took around 10 minutes for Riku to calm down enough for a conversation. “I called father...about my parents” He started. His voice cracked from all the screaming. The older boy explained how the conversation went to Iori. “I’m scared Iori” Riku pulled Iori’s shoulders hard and buried his head in the younger boy’s chest. “I don’t want to feel anything anymore.” Riku cried. “Why isn’t the pain disappearing?!? I don’t understand. I-I can’t..!”

“Kujou-san” 

Riku responded by looking up at Iori’s face. As soon as their eyes met, Iori grabbed Riku’s chin with his right hand, leaned forward and kissed him. Riku’s eyes went wide in total surprise. When the high school student pulled away, Riku felt like that moment went by way too quickly. It was like all the pain was washed away in an instant. “I-Iori...” Riku looked at Iori with his teary eyes. Iori was blushing but he did not look away from Riku.

“Are you still going to say you that don’t want to feel?” Iori asked with his quiet, soothing voice. He took a hold of Riku’s wounded hand.

“....it’s complicated” Riku looked away a little. “If I didn’t have feelings, I wouldn’t have to deal with this kind of problem in the first place, right?” Riku squeezed Iori’s hand. “Maybe Father was just trying to protect me.”

Iori sighed. “I saw the picture of you smiling brightly, Ku..Riku. If Kujou-San was really trying to protect you, he would protect that precious smile.”

Then it clicked. In Iori’s mind he finally understood what Kujou Takamasa was trying to do.  _He raised Kujou-san to suppress his emotions because that way Kujou-san will follow his orders without questions. With feelings involved, Kujou-san may be affected by issues like this. His father told him not to associate with other people so his true feelings would not reappear._

When Riku didn’t say anything back, Iori took a moment before continuing. “While it’s true feelings can cause pain and suffering, they are an important part of life. Without them, people would be lost without purpose. The world would be lifeless. There would be no such thing as entertainment or songs because they can no longer bring joy to people.”

He stared into Riku’s eyes. “You know deep down, you never want anyone to become like you, right?”

This time Riku cried like a mad person, and Iori let him while hugging the poor boy tightly. He just couldn’t hold it. The boy had never cried so much about himself. Iori whispered to Riku that everything will be okay. That he was not going through it alone. Riku thanked Iori. He was more than grateful Iori was right by his side.

After a while, Iori put Riku into his bed. He wouldn’t let the boy go home. He couldn’t. Riku was soon fast asleep from exhaustion.

I6 members were all still hanging around the dining table. They were curious and concerned about Riku even though they hardly knew him. “Iori, is Riku okay?” Mitsuki asked as soon as he saw Iori walking towards the living area. They were relieved to hear that he was doing better and they did not mind him staying the night.

“Never thought I would get to see Riku like that” Yamato spoke seriously even though he was enjoying his beer.

~~

Iori went back to his room to grab his spare blanket from the shelf. Then he realised the only spare pillow he got was on the bed where Riku was sleeping soundly. Iori sighed and climbed up the mini ladder as quietly as possible to get to his bed without waking Riku up. He was planning to sleep on the couch outside.

Luckily Riku was sleeping on just one pillow, so Iori reached his hand out to grab the one next to his. At that moment, he felt a pulling force on his wrist. It was Riku. “Mmmhhmm don’t go zzzz” It seems the red head was not actually awake, yet his grip on Iori’s wrist was quite firm.

The high school student turned to look at the redhead and was drawn in by the cuteness. Iori sat cross-legged beside him and stroked his cheek gently. Riku still had Iori’s wrist so Iori decided to lie down, turning his back to Riku because his face was pink.  _I’ll just wait for a bit._

A minute later, his wrist was freed, but it turned out Riku replaced that with an arm over Iori’s body. Wiggling closer, he hugged Iori tightly. His right leg also wrapped on top of Iori’s. “Tenn-nii...zzzz”

_T-t-t-too close baka!_  Iori was totally flustered. However, he could not leave. In fact, after a short while, he welcomed that embrace.  _Fine, I’ll be your ‘Tenn-nii’ for tonight then._  Before Iori fell asleep, he thought about that day... 

_I’m still curious why Kujou Takamasa called him a monster. Perhaps I should speak to Nanase-san at some point._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew it's getting harder to write actually and I'm starting my uni project so that doesn't help. Next chapter is still in the works so please bear with me. Again please comment teehee~


	15. Heart of a Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hewlo lovely people! Kenar desu~
> 
> So this is semi-bad news I guess. Normally I update every 3 days or so but due to me starting uni dissertation I’m going to update ONE of my fics ONCE A WEEK on SUNDAY. And if I can’t do it that week for whatever crazy reasons it’s going to be pushed to the next week and so on.   
> I hope you guys will still stick around. I love bringing entertainment to ppl and I admit I also love the feedback of it so I’ll do my best~! Thanks for all your support ALWAYS~! 
> 
> Take this chapter as a bonus update okay? :P

“Have Iori and Riku woken up?”

Nagi asked as he entered the living area, seeing Mitsuki making breakfast and Yamato and Sougo waiting at the table. Tamaki was still asleep. Sougo would probably wake him up soon as all of them had work in about two hours.

“I’ll go check” Yamato got up and went to Iori’s room. He knocked on the door lightly “Ichi? Riku?”. There was no reply so Yamato sighed before very slowly turned the door knob. He took light steps inside and was met with a ‘good’ scene. The leader smirked and went back to the kitchen.

“Mitsu! You need to see this!” Yamato pulled Mitsuki’s arm which was holding a spatula. “Ossan I’m frying eggs here!!” Mitsuki shouted as he almost sent the egg flying by surprise. Yamato ignored it and whispered about what he saw to the short boy. Mitsuki’s eyes went wide in sudden interest. “Nagi! Help take care of this for a minute!” Mitsuki smirked and left the cooking station with Yamato.

“OH! BUT I want to know what’s going on too!” Nagi shouted disappointedly as he stood before the hob.

Mitsuki entered the dark room to see the red haired boy curling up under Iori’s right arm. Their faces were almost touching. Riku was holding Iori’s left arm like a pillow. Blankets were on the floor. Those were probably useless anyway.

Sougo got a little curious. He thought the two were probably up to no good. He creeped up behind them and grabbed those two’s shoulders. “WhAt ArE YoU tWo Up tO?”. Both Mitsuki and Yamato felt the sudden drop in temperature as Sougo’s dark aura expanded.

Iori’s eyes twitched a little. He started shifting his body a little as consciousness was slowly coming back. “This is bad!” Both Mitsuki and Yamato whispered in panic. They turned around, grabbed Sougo’s arms and bolted out the door with him before Iori noticed they were watching. Yamato covered Sougo’s mouth completely when they were a safe distance away from the door. The three (one forced) resorted to an act of eavesdropping instead. Sougo's dark mode failed to fully activate with sudden distraction. 

“Nggghhh....eh?”

Riku opened his eyes around the same time Iori opened his. Iori’s face went red when he realised he was hugging Riku while sleeping. “K-Kujou-san I-” The high school boy quickly sat up feeling totally flustered.

Riku did not understand why Iori was acting like that. He got up too and rubbed his eyes. “Mornin' Iori” He stretched his body and yawned. “So it was you who kept me warm” Riku gave his classic look as he dropped a straightforward line.

“You were the one who pulled me in bed, Kujou-san!” Iori shouted. He wanted to run away and hide in a tunnel somewhere. Iori thought: what was he thinking? What if the others saw them?

“Riku” The redhead frowned a little as he spoke his own name. Iori let out a “huh?”

“You called me that last night when you kissed me right? And the other day you gave me a souvenir too. Why are you using my last name now?” The older boy actually wanted more kisses. When Iori kissed him, he felt peaceful and he felt loved. He never knew he longed for those feelings. Now that he got a taste of it, he yearned for more.

Iori was about to shout a loud ‘BAKA’ in total embarrassment when he heard a commotion from outside his room. “They kissed!?!” It wasn’t Mitsuki or Yamato, it was Sougo who almost broke Yamato’s arm upon hearing the conversation. Yamato was screaming in pain while Mitsuki tried to rescue the poor soon-to-be-disabled arm. "SOU STOP STOPPP MY ARM! MY ARMMMMMMM!!!" 

~~

The atmosphere during breakfast was terribly awkward. Even Riku was a little red and embarrassed. Iori wished he did not exist at that moment. Mitsuki insisted that Riku have breakfast with them before leaving.

“Um” Riku finally started. He was not in a position where he could just eat and leave quietly after all. “I’m sorry...for a sudden intrusion last night” Then he turned his head to Sougo “And thank you for tending my wounds, Sougo-san. I’m sorry I didn’t say it then”

“Oh, don’t worry about it Riku-kun. Don’t scratch them or anything ok?” Sougo switched into his motherly mode and lightly smiled at Riku. Who would believe he almost destroyed the leader's arm just now?

Thanks to that the awkwardness in the air was greatly reduced. “You good now, Rikkun?” Tamaki asked even though he was still half asleep. Despite his lax nature, Tamaki cares about people around him. 

“Yes” Riku answered. Although things still need to be sorted, he felt a lot better and more in control.

Riku bowed before all members before leaving the dorm. He actually liked the place. I6 members were so kind, understanding and caring. He thought they were such a good group.

_I want to be able to feel._

_However, there is something I must do_

_Thank you, Iori and IDOLiSH6._

_I hope this meeting is not our last._

~~

“Nanase-san”

Iori met up with Tenn in front of a flowery theme cafe in town. Obviously the two were wearing their disguises. Together, they walked into a shop full of flower decorations. There were modelled roses, hydrangea and several other popular flowers covering the counters, stair rails and window edges. Vases of elegantly arranged real flowers were put on each table. Riku would never be able to walk in here unless he wanted to be sent to the hospital. Iori went to the counter and ordered some drinks and cakes. He paid for Tenn’s as he was the one who asked for this meeting, knowing TRIGGER had been even busier than I6.

They sat down at the table in the corner. Soon, the waitress came to serve them with two light pink cups of rose tea, Iori’s basic chocolate cake and Tenn’s flowery creamy fluffy white cake. Iori actually wanted to have that, but no way he was admitting he liked the cute look of it.

“So? What do you want to talk about?” Tenn asked casually as he crossed his legs and started enjoying the cake in front of him without wasting a second.

“I want to ask about Kujou-san”

When Tenn heard ‘Kujou’ he froze instantly. “Riku? What about him? Is he okay? Did he have an attack?” Iori’s eyes widened. He expected some reactions since they were twins but not to this degree.

“He is fine” He last saw him in the dorm, and Riku seemed alright in the end. They have been texting at least once a day too. “I’m just...curious what Riku was like when he was younger.”

Tenn’s sad eyes appeared. Iori felt bad for making Tenn temporarily lose his appetite. “Riku used to be a little ray of sunlight in our home. The boy was sickly but it never stopped him from smiling so brightly.” Tenn smiled a little as he thought of those days. “He was a sensitive kid. Give him candy, he would be over the moon. Scold him, he would instantly cry his heart out.” Tenn smelled the soothing aroma of his tea. “I was more than shocked to see him so...lifeless. He used to be able to make people smile just by smiling himself, you know?”

That helped confirm Iori’s theory about Kujou Tamakasa.  _While Riku could use his emotion to control the atmo_ _sphere and  perhaps even manipulate people, it is also a bomb that can detonate at anytime. If something like sudden sad news hit him, he might not be able to take it._

_Riku was called a monster just because he feels too much._

_Your strategy is undeniably working well, but that doesn’t make it right._

Tenn felt the pressure was rising too high so he asked Iori how he came to know Riku. Iori explained to Tenn and apologised for hiding it. Tenn shook his head. “It’s quite alright. We are professionals. Protecting our image is naturally a part of our job.” The soft pink haired boy finally resumed eating his cake.

“You seem to be able to reach him somehow.” Tenn spoke then giggled. “I am a bit jealous” It was time for Tenn’s playful mode to come out. Honestly, these brothers are similar in a weird way: they both have double personalities. Tenn leaned forward and gave Iori a sly glance. “So Riku is your ‘secret date’ huh?”

_Counting out the public, it’s not much of a secret anymore when I6 all knew about us kissing!_  Iori was a perfect impression of a tomato.

~~

After I6 celebrated their victory at JIMA, they were hit hard with several bad rumours. There was one about Iori saying I6's growth is held back by Mitsuki. Another was about Yamato being a secret love child of a famous actor, or about Nagi being a prince of Northmare. There was also some sayings about Tamaki not being able to behave himself and that Sougo hated it. The whole thing was a total mess. Relationships between members in I6 wavered. None of them knew where those rumours came from. Kujou Takamasa had no such interest in dirty tactics apart from using his many connections to get Riku's popularity to rise in a short period of time, and Yaotome Sousuke knew if he shuts down I6, TRIGGER will be affected because the fans love it when the two groups collaborate.

Turned out those were spread by Osaka Soushi, Sougo’s father who opposed to his son pursuing music. Sougo was so stressed he passed out from a terrible pain in his stomach. On a brighter side, Sougo’s illness brought I6 back together as the members got a chance to talk openly about the rumours and made up.

I6 became stronger than ever before. Iori thought they were doing very well and that nothing could go wrong. Well, that is true for I6's case. Until about a week before Black or White, Riku suddenly stopped texting Iori. The high school boy was starting to get worried.

“Iori what’s on your mind?”

Mitsuki noticed that his little brother was not really reading his book. The high school boy was sitting on the couch at I6 dorm living room with an opened book in hand, but he had not flipped the page for the last 20 minutes. Mitsuki moved closer to touch Iori’s shoulder. Iori closed the book and placed it on the table, not looking at his brother.

Seeing as Iori did not say anything, Mitsuki asked “Is it about Riku?” And bingo, it got a sudden reaction from Iori. “You really do love him, huh?” Iori’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape and he looked at Mitsuki before nodding slowly and hesitantly. “I’m sorry Nii-san”

Mitsuki was slightly taken aback. “Why are you sorry?”. Iori looked away and said “Isn’t it obvious? We are idols. We are not supposed to-” Mitsuki gave Iori’s head a gentle mini whack and cut him off.

“Baaaaka listen, that’s not the issue here.” Mitsuki frowned. “I’m just super happy you found someone special! Plus, Riku seems like a good boy even though he’s got problems. I’m sure the others support you two too.” The shorter boy finally smiled at his younger brother who was blushing lightly. “Nii-san...”

Iori explained about what happened to Riku the other night. “We’ve been texting each other everyday since then but around two days ago, he stopped replying.” Iori could not hide his worried look.

Mitsuki suggested that Iori should go check on Riku at his apartment and told the boy to let him know if he needed anything. He also said he would need to tell the others about Riku in case something were to happen. Iori agreed. The brothers hugged and Iori then set off.

Once Mitsuki closed the door, he walked back to the living area and sighed “You guys can come out now”. Yes, all the I6 members were crouching and listening in to their conversation from behind the kitchen counter.

~~

As soon as Kujou Takamasa’s plane landed in Japan, Riku called the man and said they need to talk. Takamasa said Riku should only be focusing on BLACK or WHITE, but Riku would not back down. He refused to take no for an answer. Riku told Takamasa to meet at Zero Arena at nighttime.

Riku stood in front of the lake surrounding zero arena. There were no fences where the redhead was standing. The wind was blowing strongly tonight, yet Riku was only wearing a simple t-shirt and trousers, without his disguise.

“Hello, father”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez I swear all I6 members including Iori are expert eavesdroppers XD
> 
> Things are about to get intense next chapter and it will contain swear words so just warning you. I will be updating another fic this coming Sunday so please wait for the Sunday after okay? Sowryyyy ><


	16. Guilt and Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains sensitive/triggering content and some swear words. Proceed with caution.  
> Hewlo Lovely people~! I'm here with an update today since I can't do this Sunday. Actually I would like to change my update day to Thursday OR Friday instead. It suits my schedule better for the time being. ^^ Sorry my schedule changes a lot. Well then, enjoy!  
> Kenar

Kujou Takamasa was certainly not pleased when he saw Riku wearing light clothes without a disguise, standing in the dark, cold night, a few steps away from the deep lake surrounding the Zero Arena. Riku stared into his father’s dark eyes. His own red eyes glowed. They were not so blank and lifeless like usual. They were lit up with fury.

“Son, what do you think you are doing?” Takamasa came to a stop a good distance away from the redhead. He remained composed but no usual smirk was shown on his face.

“Father, I shall be your tool no longer.” Riku spoke firmly and bluntly that even Takamasa was slightly taken aback.

“Foolishness. What can you possibly do without me?” Takamasa huffed and opened his arms wide, speaking to the night sky. “Look how far you have become” He expected Riku to see that the boy owed him and he owned the boy.

“I am tired of it all, father. Not being able to show true emotion is one thing, but not being able to feel is a different matter entirely.” Riku then looked up at Takamasa and shouted angrily. “Do you know how fucked up I am? How much pain I feel everyday?”

It was the first time for Riku to talk back to Takamasa in such a way. The boy let his intense emotion out, not bothering about trying keep a healthy level of it right now. “Riku, what do you want?” Takamasa asked, not knowing what else to say.

Riku spoke his terms. “Let me drop out of Black or White and quit this agency.”

Meanwhile, Iori was taking a walk around zero arena, hoping it would take his mind off Riku a bit. He had sent so many messages for the past two days without getting any replies from Riku. He tried visiting Riku’s apartment earlier but had no luck.  _Where are you, Riku?_ He was lost in thought until he heard a loud angry shout from nearby. He decided to follow the voice to check what was going on when he saw the person he was looking for with a man he never wanted to see again. Iori hid behind a large tree in the park area in the back where he could still hear their conversation and take a peek. Iori gasped internally when he heard the bit about quitting. The boy told himself to keep calm and continue gathering information.

“My life is not yours anymore now that my parents are dead. Tenn-nii does not need any kind of support from you. I might be your adoptive son, but that’s it. You were never a father to me.” Riku’s gaze were so sharp and violent it could probably tear Takamasa apart if the guy’s heart was not made of concrete. The pale man was getting more irritated now. Riku was supposed to fear him. Takamasa was supposed to have the control here.

“You are not made to feel, Riku. You only exist to fulfil my dream and this is the only way.” The words did not make Riku react one bit. Not sure if it was the boy’s determination or fury that shielded his heart. On the other hand, Iori’s body shook in frustration.  _He is a person! How could you..!_

“Very well father, if that is your answer...”

Riku took an inhaler out of his pocket and held it in front of his face for the old man to see. He then threw it to the ground and stomped it with his foot, breaking it into tiny pieces.

“Son, what are you...?!” Takamasa never panicked much. This time even a man like him was shocked by Riku’s action. Riku took two steps backwards, getting even closer to the edge of the lake.

“You do know what will happen if I fall into the lake right?” It was as if the boy with the red hair was not Riku at all. Takamasa’s eyes widened. He lost all his composure and shouted this time “Don’t be ridiculous, Riku! You can’t kill yourself!” The father knew the boy cannot swim. Even if he could, his lungs would give out before anything else. Not just that, Riku destroyed his inhaler. If he were to have an attack now, things could be very dangerous.

“Oh but I can. I don’t have feelings remember? All I need to do is take another two steps backwards. Nothing will stop me.” When Takamasa took half a step forward, Riku snapped. “And don’t even think of coming closer.” Riku’s eyes went back to showing blankness. There was no distortions in his voice. At that moment, he feared nothing. He was using his ability to suppress his emotion to his advantage.

Iori froze in total shock. Tears started coming out of his eyes. He had to cover his mouth with both hands to not let out a scream. He could not believe what he was hearing. If he wasn’t leaning on the tree, he would have flopped to the ground by now.  _Riku...he...!_

Takamasa held out his hand and spoke with shaky voice. “Y-you can’t be serious...You are mine! You can’t do-“

Takamasa was cut off by a sudden rush of footsteps “HE IS NOT YOURS YOU BASTARD!!” Iori frantically charged past Takamasa at full speed towards Riku. The high school boy panted heavily in panic as he reached out his arm to grab Riku’s and pulled the redhead forcefully away from the lake. He hugged Riku the tightest he could with both arms, before turning  to glare at Takamasa with his eyes of melancholy and yelled “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, RIGHT NOW!!” Iori’s loud desperate scream made even the crows and ravens scattered out of the trees. When Takamasa only took one step back, Iori shouted again “GET OUT!!”.

The old man was left without a choice. In order for him to not lose his precious product, he had to walk away. Once the man was out of sight, Iori started crying like a mad man. He still did not let Riku out of his grip. The thought of losing Riku was too much for him to bear. It also stabbed his heart like a knife. The high school student rested his head on Riku’s shoulder “Riku * _sob*"_   Iori wanted to say so many things but he could not sort out his confusing thoughts.

Riku slowly reached his hand up to touch Iori’s face. When Iori looked up, still sobbing, Riku wiped Iori’s tears with his thumb. He felt sad that he put Iori in this state, regretting that he never thought about how the boy would feel if he was gone. Riku could not bring himself to look at the boy in the eye. “Iori...I-I’m sorry”

Iori still did not say anything. He loosened the grip but still had one of Riku’s arms in his hand. He grabbed his phone and called for a taxi. “We need to get you home” Iori spoke to Riku really quietly while waiting for the other end to pick up his call. The younger boy saw a smashed inhaler on the ground and knew he had to make sure Riku is safe physically first. Riku nodded when Iori asked to confirm if Riku had any spare inhalers at home.

Both of them did not say anything on their way home. Riku was shivering from the cold weather. He tried his hardest to keep his breathing steady. Guilt filled Riku’s heart as Iori remained silent and unmoving, looking out the car window throughout the ride.

Iori invited himself into Riku’s apartment and sat down on the couch. “I’ll make some tea okay?” Riku said quietly but when he was about to take another step, Iori stopped him. “No, come sit here, Kujou-san” so Riku sat down right next to Iori. The redhead felt heavyhearted. Iori was definitely depressed. He was probably mad as well.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Iori started talking without looking at Riku. “Didn’t I say you are not going through it alone? So why did you have to resort to that?” He tried to keep his tone of voice neutral when in reality he felt so hurt and bitter. Honestly, he felt betrayed that Riku never talked to him about it. He could have come up with a better plan for Riku, or if not, he could at least have some sort of a back up procedure so Riku’s life would not be in danger.

“I...I never wanted to cause you trouble, Iori. And it was the only way” answered Riku while clasping his hands together tightly. The truth is he wanted to protect Iori. Riku, even in his emotionless state, knew he cared about this student, perhaps even more than his own life.

“You thought that easily throwing your life away is the way out?!?” Iori turned to look at Riku and shouted angrily, making Riku snap back and squeeze Iori’s shoulders like he was going to crush them. Iori winced in pain and it failed to get Riku’s attention. “You thought that was easy!?! I just didn’t want to get you in danger, Iori! Who knows what father would do to you!?”

Iori took a deep breath and violently shook himself off the grip. He then stood up in front of Riku, staring at the older boy with his cold grey eyes of full of torture. “What?! So you want me to wake up to the breaking news about you committing suicide? You want to protect me but you want my heart to break into million pieces?! You want me to cry and scream in total agony in front of your grave thinking I couldn’t do anything to save you?!?”

Riku froze. He had never seen Iori in such a state before. His date’s voice was shaken with anger and distress. Crying was not an option for him anymore when it did not help take away the pain one bit. Iori wore a more gentle look seeing that Riku was in shock. He looked down at Riku’s face, waiting for a response, but no words came out of Riku’s mouth. The redhead went back to having the usual neutral face within seconds. He did not even cry.

“Why...?” Iori’s eyes became watery. “Why aren’t you saying anything, Riku?” The boy crouched down in front of the solo idol and grabbed both of his arms and rubbed them with his thumbs. “Did you...really want to die, Riku? Please, please just tell me...” Iori looked at Riku with his pleading eyes. Even someone as perfect as him did not know how he should approach the situation. How he should deal with Riku.

“I thought...father would accept my terms if I went with that” Riku spoke with his quiet voice before looking away. “I can’t deny that...for a bit I thought death is a wonderful thing.”

Iori gasped loudly.

Riku’s neutral expression was overcame with a depressing one. “But when I saw you, Iori, I...” Riku touched Iori’s cheek gently. He could not bring himself to say he did not want to die and started hyperventilating. “If you hadn’t come then...I-I would...* _gasp*_ ”

The high school student sat back down right beside heavily breathing Riku and patted his back, telling him to calm down while also searching if an oxygen bottle was nearby just in case. Iori moved backwards to sitting fully on the couch, cross-legged behind Riku and rested his head on the older boy’s back once he deemed that Riku was not having an attack. He hugged Riku’s waist from behind. “Listen, I really care about you. If you are in trouble, I want to help you solve it. If you are in pain, I want you to share it to me.” Iori paused for a moment before confessing “I love you, Riku and I don’t ever want to lose you. So please, talk to me, scream at me. I will never abandon you.”

Love. Riku never noticed how much he wanted to hear that word. Hearing it from Iori made his heart feel mysteriously lighter. Riku turned around to sit crossed legged, facing Iori before finally resting his head on Iori’s lap, looking up at the younger boy. “I promise I won’t hurt Iori again. You said...you would be my control, so teach me how to live, Iori.”

Riku also meant to say he wanted to feel and live like a normal person. Iori was a little surprised. When he saw Riku’s expression he finally got the message and smiled. “Of course, Riku. First let’s teach you how to word things properly.”

Iori was there for a little longer, making sure it was safe to leave the redhead alone. He wanted to stay with Riku but with BLACK or WHITE coming up, both of them need to practice first thing in the morning. The two promised to let each other know if they were faced with problems. When Riku saw Iori out at the door, he channelled his demon idol mode. “I shall not lose to the likes of you and TRIGGER.” Then he winked at Iori, flicked the student’s forehead and closed the door.

“Ngah!? What the...?!” Riku actually was giggling when he could hear Iori being confused through the door. He did not notice himself, but how long has it been since he giggled like that?

~~

“Win, Kujou. You only have one job” Riku’s manager sat in the corner of the preparation room after making sure Riku was in top condition for BLACK or WHITE.

_Come at us with all you’ve got, Riku. We’ll talk about what to do later._

Riku recalled Iori’s words from the chat and sat calmly on the chair. His heart was filled with pure determination.  _Tonight, the stage is mine. Not I6’s. Not TRIGGER’s. All attention will be on me!_  Riku was about to sing a song that was prepared for him just for BoW. I6 and TRIGGER were also going on stage with their new songs. BoW is one of the biggest music events held every year. Riku was honoured to be one of the artists performing tonight.

“Eyes on me, everyone! It’s Kujou Riku!” Riku stepped onto the huge stage and said his opening line. The whole venue went dark as he took the starting position: the middle of the stage. “Listen to my song, ‘Take the TOP!”

The melody started off slow. The performance relied on Riku’s breathtaking vocal prowess rather than his dance. Still, the choreography was very smooth. The pace then picked up more during the chorus with the dance becoming the most powerful. The audience screamed his name and cheered for him as he sang the part ‘Take the TOP TOP TOP Nandemo’. Kujou’s other songs were all full of anger. This one was different and the audience went wild for it.

_It’s true I’m under father’s control..._

_but being an idol is also my dream._

_To go further, I must do it my way._

~~

Tenn’s eyes were glued to the TV broadcasting Kujou Riku’s performance. He was just like when Iori saw a fluffy cute furry cat.

“He seems to draw in more attention than usual” said Gaku. Ryuu actually agreed “It’s not just me who feel that way then. His performance seems more...’natural’? I don’t really know how to explain it.”

“Isn’t Tenn adorable being a brocon?” Gaku nudged Ryuu to look at Tenn who was 100% absorbed by his twin brother’s performance. “Oi, brat, we are his rival you know?” Gaku went and put his hand on Tenn’s shoulder. He smirked as Tenn blushed. “I-I know that! Gaku, Ryuu Let’s go!”

TRIGGER heated up the venue with their hot dances to ‘Leopard Eyes’ under red flashing lights. Ryuu the Sexy Beast made the girls’ hearts flutter with his poses. Not just that, Tenn amplified those feelings with a ‘bang’ finger pose. Gaku used his handsomeness and the charm of his voice to the fullest. Everyone was melting.

_We will go home victorious tonight!_

The last performance of the night was by IDOLiSH6. Starry, dancing rainbow fountain backdrop was used to help create a truly magical moment. 6 unique voices came together as one in MEMORiES MELODiES, with Iori the centre being the main bringer of the happiness in the air. It was as if the audience sparkled along with them.

_We are here to show that feelings win over power._

The pressure rose as people of public were on their phones, voting for their favourite performances. Finally, Mr. Shimooka had the final numbers.

“And the winner is....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course I will leave it there ehehe~! Not sure if I will update this fic or DiMENSIONS next week so see you all next (two?) weeks ^^ Thanks for all the support always. Please comment!
> 
> "Take the TOP" is a song sung by Ono Kensho, which is Riku's seiyuu (voice actor) >< I really like his voice haha


	17. Mixed Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BoW Results and a new upcoming event!

“And the winner is.....”

The people in the BLACK or WHITE venue, people in front of their home TV screens and people watching from live viewing screens in the busy cities were focusing on the number of votes on stage on top of each idol that were going up rapidly.

Once the numbers came to a stop, Mr. Shimooka excitedly announced the winner right away.

“IDOLiSH6!!!!”

The main spotlight went to IDOLiSH6. The group was stunned for 3 seconds before the members started looking at each other’s faces as a reality check. They then jumped and screamed in happiness. Everyone gathered around their young centre, Izumi Iori and gave him the caring head pat. “We did it! We WON!” Nagi shouted. Mitsuki could not stop his tears.

“Thank you everyone. Really, thank you!” Iori grabbed the mic and spoke before the 6 of them joined hands and together bowed to the fans.

The second place went to Kujou Riku, followed by TRIGGER. The votes were very close. Riku bit his lip in frustration. At the same time, the boy was happy for I6. The fans had proven it. I6 were the best to convey their feelings through their song and those reached the fans' hearts. TRIGGER felt bitter that they lost. Still, they gave everything they had during the performance and they had no regrets. Tenn would probably cry in Gaku’s and Ryuu’s arms as soon as he exited the stage.

~~

“That rat...”

Kujou Takamasa shut down the TV and smashed his remote control. He was obviously pissed seeing IDOLiSH6 won and not his son. Not his precious product.

The pale-faced man raged. “You have crossed the line, Nezumi Iori. You leave me no choice.” [A/N: Nezumi means rat Japanese]

“You will regret starting a war with me!”

~~

“Kujou!!”

The cold female manager pulled Riku’s shirt on the chest violently with both hands as soon as they got to their prep room. Then she pushed the boy away, making his back hit the hard wall. Riku yelped on impact and he started coughing. Riku leaned on the wall, put his hand on his chest and drew in deep, loud breaths. Not only he was tired from dancing on stage, the pressure from his manager was crushing him. That woman was probably scared. Scared about what Takamasa would do to her. She just had to take it out on Riku. It was truly an ugly cycle.

Riku wanted to cry. The sadness grew as he felt he gave everything he had on stage. He deserved some praises regardless of the outcome. He wanted them. The boy could only imagine that Iori and Tenn would hug him. Riku tried so hard to hold back his tears. He let himself flop to the floor and fought the pain of not being able to take the air into his lungs fully.

The manager went to grab Riku’s bag which had his medications and threw it to the boy. It nearly hit him. The opened bag landed on the floor next to Riku and stuffs were scattered everywhere. “Ugh I’m outta here. Deal with your annoying illness yourself!” The manager slammed the door loudly and stormed off.

Riku searched for his inhaler which was luckily nearby.  _Annoying illness._  That really hurt. It was not his fault that he was ill. Once his attack calmed down, Riku put his arm on his forehead and sobbed quietly.

~~

Tenn’s head was buried in his hands. He said he needed a moment to cry so Gaku and Ryuu also used this opportunity to process their thoughts. Anesagi being their manager could not help shedding some tears. She knew her boys worked really hard and they at least deserved to hear that she was proud of them. She was hoping the president will not be too harsh on them when they face him.

A moment later, Tenn tugged Gaku’s shirt sleeve “Gaku...I want a whole cake”. Gaku turned to looked at the young centre before embracing the boy “Alright. Brat, you can pick your own today” Then he looked up at Ryuu “Let’s celebrate our loss tonight”. Ryuu nodded. Together they laughed. The bonds they shared shone especially brightly during the toughest of times.

I6 was promised a hotpot party at the agency and they were all excited to toast to their huge success. One member after another were stepping into the agency van. When it was Iori’s turn, he stopped. His mind felt heavy. “Mina-san, I-“

“You want to see Riku, right?” Yamato said while relaxing in his seat, dreaming about several cans of beer he was about to get to drink. “Go, Ichi, we’ll wait”

Iori’s eyes went wide as the others nodded in approval. “Thank you, everyone” Iori bowed and dashed back inside the hall.

“Riku!” Iori knocked before opening the door. He was panting from running and searching for Riku’s prep room. He closed the door and rushed to the boy who was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees.

“Riku...” Iori sat down in front of the solo idol and reached his hand to caress Riku’s cheek. “Are you okay?” Iori’s eyebrows dropped with worry.

“Yeah...” Riku refused to look up. He knew he was a mess and he did not want to ruin Iori’s night or rather, I6’s night of happiness. “Congrats.”

Iori sighed “Riku, look at me.” He shuffled in closer to Riku and touched his left shoulder. “Please”

Hearing Iori’s gentle request, Riku looked up slowly. Immediately, Iori used this chance to press his lips onto Riku’s. He then whispered “You did well. You did very well tonight.”

The redhead hugged Iori tightly. Of course Iori returned it. “Thank you!” Riku sobbed lightly. It was just a simple sentence, yet he was hoping to hear someone say it to him. He felt so much better when those words came from Iori. After a while, Riku pulled away “I’m really okay, Iori. You should go. Tell I6 that I say ‘congratulations’ okay?”

“Alright. Text me when you get home” Iori smiled at the older boy. When he was getting up, Riku stopped him by pulling his arm. “Wait!” Iori stopped as he saw Riku looked away for a second with a pink face before looking at Iori in the eye. “Can I have another kiss?” Iori was the one blushing this time. “F-fine, cu..greedy person” He sent Riku to heaven once more.

~~

After BoW, Riku was still working under the same agency, but as he spent more time with Iori and even I6, he started to become a little more ‘rebellious’. He sometimes responds to the fans’ calling out to him at his live when he is not allowed to. He refuses to say some harsh words to other idols when his manager instructs him to do so. There were even people in entertainment business gossiping about Riku getting into a heated argument with his manager often.

Kujou Takamasa of course heard about Riku’s behaviour. He was getting more and more furious every time a piece of information reached his ears. Takamasa believed strongly in influence and power, providing that he was able to have them. Riku was supposed to reach the top with ‘his management’. Riku was his tool for him to achieve his dead dream.

“Son, you exist only to be mine”

Takamasa called Riku’s manager and instructed her to prepare to put his next plan in place.

“I shall have my control back, Riku!”

~~

“Yaotome, it is a pleasure to work with you again”

Takanashi Otoharu along with his daughter, Tsumugi, walked into Sousuke’s office to meet YaotomePro’s president and Anesagi. They were planning a collaboration event for the two idol groups once again.

“Of course, now, we have a rather unusual situation” Sousuke stood up and went closer to Otoharu. When Otoharu asked what it was about, Sousuke explained. “That agency wants to work with us as well” Obviously, he was talking about the agency Kujou Riku works for. “It will be beneficial for us for sure but...”

“You don’t think they have an ulterior motive, do you?” Otoharu opened his red eyes and questioned.

In the end, both agencies decided to accept the collaboration request, and so Kujou Riku, IDOLiSH6 and TRIGGER are scheduled to practice together for their next big event: Friends Day!

TRIGGER was called to their president’s office later that day. When the three entered the room, Sousuke who was sitting in his large luxury chair, turned around to face his idols. “You three. You have a big event coming up.”

“What is it?” Gaku asked without leaving another second for Sousuke to breathe after a sentence. Sousuke glared at his son before continuing.

“Listen to the end before you ask, idiot son. You three are to have a collaboration with IDOLiSH6 once again. This live event, ‘Friends day’ will last 24 hours straight consisting of music and talk shows. Some other artists may fill in here and there but you and the other two will be the hosts and the highlights” Sousuke spoke while keeping his usual stern face.

Tenn picked up a small detail in Sousuke words and questioned. “The other two? You said we are working with I6. Who is another one?”

Sousuke stared at the three, pausing for a bit before answering. “Kujou Riku”

TRIGGER’s faces were full of surprise. They knew Riku’s agency were against Riku associating with other idols, so why are they letting him join in now? Tenn was also worried. There was no way Riku could last that long doing the event with his health condition.

When the three were dismissed, Ryuu touched Tenn’s shoulder and asked “Aren’t you happy to work with your little brother, Tenn?” Tenn then turned to face both Ryuu and Gaku. “I would be if it wasn’t a 24 hour long live event! And what is going on? Why is he allowed to work with us now?!?” Tenn blurted out the worry he had on his mind to the two.

Ryuu tried to look at the brighter side. “Tenn, maybe his agency is going easier on him now”

Tenn was definitely not convinced, but there was nothing much he could do so he decided to focus on the fact that he would get to see Riku more from now on.

~~

“Riku!”

As soon as Yamato guided the redhead inside TakanashiPro practice room, Tenn dashed to Riku to give him a hug. Iori felt a little jealous watching from behind. He also wanted to hug Riku or more accurately, he wanted Riku to hug him.

“Long time no see, Tenn-nii” Riku smiled a little. Tenn refused to let Riku go. Soon, he heard little sobs from the young TRIGGER centre.

“Oi, brat, why get so emotional?” Gaku shouted from the back. As soon as Tenn heard that, he let Riku go and walked to Gaku. The centre pulled the leader’s shirt and threatened him with his sharp glare “How dare you interrupted our precious moment of reunion, Gaku!?” Ryuu had to jump in and do his usual everyday job.

Riku then walked straight towards Iori and pulled the high school student into an intimate hug. “K-Kujou-san!?!” Iori went as red as a beet. Sure, he wished for a hug but EVERYONE was watching them. Mitsuki, Yamato and Gaku smirked. Tenn and Sougo were in shock. Iori pushed Riku away in total embarrassment, making Riku tilt his head in confusion. “Iori didn’t want a hug?”

“B-b-baka! We are not alone here!” Iori was so flustered he did not process his words properly.

“So you did want a hug” Riku said with his little smile before turning to say hello to other idols in the room.

~~

The friends day practice started off really well. Because Tsumugi and Anesagi knew about Riku’s condition, they carefully planned out the practice and event schedule so that it would not be too hard on Riku. Riku’s manager went with whatever the two planned out. As long as Riku got his exposure, she did not care about anything else, which was why Riku was here at TakanashiPro to practice on his own.

Sure, I6 and TRIGGER have seen Riku on stage or on TV many times but none of them have seen Riku singing his own song during practice. His movements were incredible. Despite being clumsy normally, he never made a single mistake during his song. They were in awe watching his performance. Well, until he finished, went to his corner and stumbled to his bag to get an oxygen bottle. This is why Kujou Riku’s concert always leaves around 2 minutes between 1-2 songs for Riku to get backstage and use the medications he needs.

Riku looked like he was fighting for air even with an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. “Oi, Riku are you okay?!?” Mitsuki shouted in a panic. “I-I’m fine. This is * _huff_  *normal” Riku explained. He really does end up like this every time after a song or two. Tenn eyed him with a sad look.  _Riku..._

In the evening when they finished their practice, Riku went downstairs outside to get some fresh air. Tenn saw a chance to speak privately to Riku so he went to find the redhead sitting on the steps. “Riku”

“Tenn-nii, what is it?” Riku smiled a little when he saw his twin brother but he still had that classic blank eyes.

Tenn went to sit right beside Riku. He took a hold of Riku’s arm and played with Riku’s fingers. He did not say anything, hoping Riku would start, but Riku was terrible at thinking of a conversation since his emotions were still largely suppressed. Tenn thought  _What happened to my talkative lovely younger brother...?_

“Riku, you should quit...being an idol”

Even Riku was stunned for a few seconds. “Why, Tenn-nii?” He turned to look at his brother.

“If you keep doing this, your lungs will...” Tenn looked like he was about to cry. “I don’t want you to be in pain every time you sing.” Tenn looked back at Riku with watery eyes. “I can easily support you and-“

Riku cut him off. Tenn swear he could hear the hurt in Riku’s voice even though the boy kept his straight face “I’ve already been through a lot of pain, Tenn-nii. I’m used to it.” Riku then stood up, still looking at his twin brother in the eye. “I want to sing. Please don’t take away one of the things that keep me alive.”

Tenn gasped loudly as Riku went back inside. Perhaps Riku could have worded it so much better. Tenn buried his face in hands and wept. 

_I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m sorry I never know how you feel._

_I wish I could be there for you, Riku._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 13:00 Thursday! So I'm back with an update. I hope you enjoyed this chapter of some fluff and angst teehee~
> 
> Sorry, Tenn T^T I need to stop making you suffer. 
> 
> Next chapter will be....less angsty? Ehehe~ Kujou Riku has something on his mind, so...? 
> 
> If you want to message me or anything my IG is @gamerhamsterkenar ^^


	18. Ofiicially 'Us'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff before friends day

The big live event, Friends Day was coming up very soon and the three idol groups had been practising hard together.

Tenn stood at his house balcony, staring at the night starless sky. Even though he had been practising ‘Furefure! Seichun Sanka’ together with Iori and Riku, he was not able to talk to his younger twin brother properly. The air turned awkward every time he started a topic as emotionless Riku would only answer with a single word or sentence. He noticed Iori and Riku did not talk much during those time either.  _Seriously, how does their relationship work? Do they talk more in private?_

_How can I get Riku to talk to me?_

“Tenn”

Gaku suddenly slid the glass door open and startled Tenn by calling his name. “Warm milk with honey is ready. Come in.” He demanded and so Tenn went back in to sit on a couch. The whole room was silent. Gaku did not turn on the TV. That was unusual.

“When are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Gaku went and sat next to Tenn. As tactless as he was, Gaku still noticed when Tenn’s eyes became slightly swollen the first day they practised together with I6 and Riku. Plus, Tenn had been way too quiet for the past week. It was easy for Gaku to notice something was not quite right. Tenn denied it at first, but later gave in to Gaku’s stubbornness.

Gaku rested his back on the couch as he listened to Tenn describing what happened and how he felt during practices. Touching his forehead like it was hurting, Gaku sighed. “You called me tactless but you told Kujou to stop singing? Brat, you’re just as bad as me-OWWW!” Gaku cried out in pain when he felt his foot was being crushed by Tenn stomping on it.

“Look, brat. Your little brother is normally awkward as hell. Now you went and say something like that to him, sure, he’s gonna be even more hopeless.” Gaku pulled his foot away and kept talking. “Buy him something he likes and make up!” Well, Gaku found that if he made Tenn angry, buying a fancy slice of cake for Tenn always worked. He knew not of other effective methods.

After that, Tenn made a note to buy some chocolate for Riku if another attempt to talk to him was not successful. He chased Gaku away to get a bath saying the guy was too sweaty when he actually was not. They fought for a while before Gaku finally went in the bathtub. The leader was humming ‘Shiawase de ite’ and relaxing in a nice steamy hot water when suddenly a door was flung open.

“Fwah! the hell Tenn?!?”

TRIGGER’s centre Nanase Tenn walked in, locked the door and stripped himself naked. “Don’t move, Gaku” He ordered.

“No! What the f*@# do you think you are doing?!? Oi! There’s no ro-” Gaku shouted frantically when Tenn walked closer and threw his leg in the water.

Tenn entered the bath, with his body on top of Gaku. “There’s PLENTY of room here <3”

~~

“Nanase-san, do you have a moment?”

Iori caught Tenn just before he entered the three’s practice room. Riku was already inside. “Yes, Izumi, what is it?” With his stern face, the high school student spoke “Did you perhaps had a fight with Kujou-san?”

Tenn froze. Bingo. Iori got his answer. Not just that, Iori added. “It happened around a week ago right?” Another bingo. Tenn was at a loss for words. When Tenn asked how Iori noticed, the younger boy sighed.

“It’s pretty obvious. Kujou-san is normally more carefree around you. Now he’s just stiff.”

“I said something I shouldn’t have to him.” Tenn left out the details knowing Iori would probably be furious knowing what he said to his date. Even Gaku thought Tenn was stupid for once.

“If that guy is angry at you, he probably doesn’t realise it himself. You might need to point it out. I hope the two of you make up soon.” With that, Iori opened the door and entered the practice room.

During the break, Tenn approached Riku and sat in front of him. “Ne, Riku, are you angry at me?”

Riku placed his oxygen bottle to the side and looked at tenn with his blank eyes. He paused to think for a bit and Tenn could not read the boy’s expression. “No...I don’t think so Tenn-nii?”

Tenn’s eyebrows shrugged. It was probably better to ask Riku straightforwardly. “Then...how do you feel about me?”

“Umm...” Riku went into his thinking posture. “Like I don’t want to see Tenn-nii?”

Tenn felt a stab in his heart. Riku did not realise he had just destroyed Tenn internally. “How do I put it? I really want to hug Tenn-nii but at the same time I don’t want to”

Okay that came out really cute. Tenn was instantly revived. He could not help laughing at his clueless little brother. “You’re sulking!” He ruffled Riku’s head. “Silly boy, you don’t even know what it is?”

“Waaaah Tenn-nii!” Riku suddenly hugged his twin brother like he had been wanting to do for the longest time. “Still, I’m sorry I told you to quit without asking about how you feel, Riku” Tenn apologised seriously while patting Riku’s back. Riku shook his head to indicate it was fine. Tenn turned his head to see Iori who was quietly watching the scene. TRIGGER centre gave him a wink to say thank you.  _Looks like the one who gets chocolate is Izumi._

~~

- **Two days before Friends Day** -

It was the last day for TRIGGER, I6 and Riku to practice together. They agreed to go have ramen together after Friends Day is over. Riku approached Iori once they were done for the day, asking if the boy had some time for him. Iori was about to deny, saying everyone should be mentally preparing for the event when Yamato interrupted them. “Yea, of course he has time! We are done practicing and have a day off tomorrow, right, Ichi?” The green haired leader took a hold of Iori’s neck and yes, you know it by now, he had a smirk on his face. Mitsuki and Nagi gave thumps up to Yamato. Tamaki and Sougo could not help giggling at them.

It was true Riku did not have many friends because of his upbringing and being overseas with Kujou Takamasa. However, he did meet two people who could tolerate him back in the day and by strange coincidence, they were originally from Japan. They are a couple who owns a luxury cafe in the city that offers private evening tea room. Yes, Riku was taking Iori there, without telling him the details.

As soon as Iori stepped into the cafe, he was taken away by the things that sparkled around him. There were gold chandeliers with crystals, floor covered with soft black carpet, seats that were made to look like royal carriages. It was clear the food here must be crazy expensive. Why did Riku take him here?

“Rikuuuuuu! UWAAAAAHHHH” Iori was brought back to reality by a man in butler clothes who dashed from the dessert counter to hug Riku. “It’s been so long!! I REALLY missed you!”

Another man in butler clothes who had waist-long hair walked forward gracefully. He pulled a man with black and white hair out of the hug. The lecture started. “Momo, Riku-kun is here as a customer, treat him like one!”

“But, Yuki darling! We haven’t seen him in years...oh!” A young boy standing beside Riku suddenly caught Momo’s interest. Momo checked Iori out from head to toe. “Mmmm interesting...Riku takes someone else here. This has NEVER happened before!” Momo smirked before that changed into a face full of wonder. “Oh...wait. Don’t you look familiar?”

Iori felt quite uncomfortable by how Momo greeted him. He was confused by the whole situation. First of all, Riku knew someone else other than I6 and TRIGGER? Secondly, what the heck is going on here?

“Momo!” Yuki raised his voice. Luckily there were no customers sitting near where they stood. “You are making our customer uncomfortable!” Yuki then went into thinking posture when he took a proper look at Iori. “But hmm...you really do look familiar...”

Yes of course the two idols were wearing their disguises. Momo and Yuki could recognise Riku because they knew each other. Riku decided to not leave them hanging and introduced his ‘friend’. “This is Izumi Iori.”

Okay, that was probably the worst introduction ever.

“Izumi Iori...? The name sounds so familiar....AH!” Momo went to grab Iori’s shoulders in shock. “You are IDOLiSH6 centre!?! OH MY GOD I AM YOUR FAN!!” When Momo noticed Iori naturally pulled himself away by surprise, he calmed down a little more. “S-sorry, I was too excited...”

“It’s fine.” Iori said and gave Riku an ‘explain this whole thing’ look. Yuki sighed quietly and stepped forward to bow. “I apologise for our inappropriate behaviour. Let us show you to your private tea room. I am Yuki, and this is Momo. We are butlers serving you tonight.”

Momo and Yuki led the two into the back of the cafe. There was one large gold patterned door. Once the butlers pushed it opened, Iori and Riku was met with an elegant circular wooden low table with a comfortable-looking yet extravagant sofa. “Please, have a seat, masters” Yuki guided the two to the sofa. Momo then stepped forward. “We shall come back in a moment to serve you starters.” He winked then followed Yuki out of the room, giving the idols their privacy.

Iori took out his disguise and looked around the room. It was carefully decorated. He felt like he was in some sort of rich man’s mansion. “Riku, what is this place?” The student looked at the classic Riku sitting comfortably right beside him.

“Hm? It’s a theme cafe. Iori likes theme cafes right?” Riku tilted his head in a cute way.

“I know that much! I mean, who are those...butlers? Why do we get special treatments?” Iori thought: do I really need to ask everything? This guy is forever hopeless.

“Those two are my...friends?...from years ago. We met overseas. They used to take me here and there, but now they are back in Japan, doing this cafe business.” Riku got a little closer to Iori and explained.

“So they own this cafe!?!” Iori asked in surprised. “Yes, and they serve the people who book this room themselves.”

The younger boy was not left with time to gather more information when Momo and Yuki came in with a plate each. They placed a medium sized plate of smoked salmon with chopped tomatoes on toasts and another of spinach and cheese stuffed red peppers. “If masters need anything please just ring the bell here” Momo winked to the two again and left the room with Yuki. “Enjoy your starters”

Iori could not settle down until he took a bite of the food. It tasted divine. Iori normally never cared much about savoury food, but this one really satisfied his taste buds. Riku looked like he loved the smoke salmon.

After they finished the starters, the butlers came in to take the plates away and replaced it with the main course. It was lamb steak with mint sauce served with grilled vegetables and potatoes. Before Iori indulged in the food, he looked at Riku. “Why did you take me here, Riku?”  _There must be a reason. Hopefully it’s not something ridiculous or terrible..._  He was prepared for the worst.

Riku shuffled even closer to Iori. He then gently pulled Iori’s chin with his hand, making Iori look at the older boy in the eye. Riku seemed quite intimidating that way, even though he was physically slightly smaller than Iori.

“I want you to be mine, Iori”

Iori’s thought process shut down for 5 seconds. When he came to, his face was extremely red. Riku slowly reached his arms to wrap around Iori’s waist and looked at Iori with his red eyes. They were no longer blank. There was passion behind that emotionless face.

Iori took a moment longer before looking away shyly. “I-I thought we were already seeing each other...”

“But we never made it official” Riku replied before sitting himself back up. “So what do you say, Iori?”

“B-baka” Iori put his hand up to cover his mouth, regaining his composure. “You are way too demanding. You are supposed to ask nicely” He looked away again, and mumbled loud enough for Riku to here. “...I’m yours. Use me as you like”

The feelings in the air changed so dramatically even the butlers could feel the love from the two when they came to serve a tower of cake selections. This time, it was Yuki who acted inappropriately as a butler. “My, my when did Riku-kun become so ‘alive’?” With that, the four of them chatted for a while. Momo fanboyed really hard when he got Iori’s signature and a picture with him. It was later revealed that Yuki is a huge Kujou Riku’s fan. Riku’s photo and signature blew his composed personality. The couple also got their lovey-dovey photos after Riku confirmed that Iori can trust these two crazy butlers to not leak the information.

That night, Iori stayed with Riku at his apartment. Iori thanked Riku for taking him to such a nice dinner. They kissed, hugging each other to sleep.

~~

**-A certain phone conversation-**

“Are the preparations ready?”

“Yes, Kujou-sama”

Kujou Takamasa smiled and laughed evilly like a man who has lost his mind. “Finally, Ahahahaha, finally Riku is MINE and MINE ALONE! Ahahahaha he will become MY king of the entertainment world!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really Riku? Is that how you ask someone out??  
> Re:vale as fanboys lololol  
> I hope you like the fluff in this chapter cuz who knows what's going to happen next? Teehee~  
> If you wanna message me or sth @kenarkrsun is my twitter or @gamerhamsterkenar is my IG ^^


	19. Friends Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally it's time for Friends Day. The event is going smoothly until...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said before but screw update schedule lol enjoy. Still can't write the next so yeah....my bad if it will be a long wait.

19 hours had passed since Friends Day event started. Everything was going as planned. 5 hours left to go and it would be declared a huge success for the two idol groups and Kujou Riku.

Soon, Iori, Riku and Tenn would have to go on stage to perform their collab song ‘Furefure! Seishun Sanka’. Riku was quite knackered from his last powerful solo performance so he was getting some oxygen while Iori and Tenn helped him undress. The high school student and the older twin were already in their stage clothes since their last performances were on some time ago. Riku only had 10 minutes to get ready.

“Riku, raise your arms” Tenn quickly unbuttoned Riku’s shirt and took it off, then dressed Riku back up with a white Furefure stage clothes.

Iori loosened Riku’s belt and stripped Riku’s trousers. Both Riku and Iori went a little red, but they were left with not many choices. “Lift your leg up, Kujou-san” He helped Riku put on white trousers.

After that, the two let Riku sit down for a minute before Tenn and Iori went to make sure everything was neat. The centres worked together amazingly well to take care of Riku. “His hat please, Nanase-san” As soon as Tenn heard that from Iori, Tenn went to grab it from Riku’s locker and put it on his little brother’s head.

Iori fixed Riku’s hair, especially the bangs then nodded in approval. “Right, now we are all ready”

“That was a bit...embarrassing” Riku pouted, putting his oxygen mask away. He felt like a kid being taken care of. Tenn giggled looking at Iori and Riku shying away from each other. “Oh but I had to dress you up everyday when we were little” Tenn poked Riku’s forehead.

“T-Tenn-nii did you really need to say that to Iori?” Iori had to cover his mouth with his hand to hide his ‘cuteness overload' reaction. Seconds after that, a staff came to call them to the stage.

~~

“KYAAAAAAAAAA Kujou Riku so CUTE!!!!”

“IORIIIIIIINNNN”

“TENN-KUN LOOK AT MEEEEE!”

The audience went wild when they saw the three appeared in matching themed outfits. They were the first unit to perform a new collaboration song for Friends Day.

Riku went into his idol character. “This song is too fluffy for my taste, but I guess I have no choice” He acted cool to the fans, making their hearts flutter.

“* _Ahem*_  It’s not really my thing either. Nanase-san wants to do it so...” Iori refused to admit he really liked his own outfit right now and that he listened to the song during his free time everyday. He secretly enjoyed seeing Riku's cute dances during practice as well.

“Geez Izumi, Kujou, be a little more honest to the fans” The screams filled the venue “Hora, they are calling for you” Tenn teased the two idols on his sides.

“Hmph, let’s just get this over and done with.” Riku huffed. “Eyes on us, ‘Furefure! Seishun Sanka!’”

The joy was pouring out from the stage to the fans as the three joined hands and sang the start of the song. The fans were squealing over the total cuteness. They were doing extremely well for the first half of the song. They worked together very hard to make sure no one's voice took domination in a trio song. 

After the chorus, however, when Iori stepped forward to sing his solo part. The whole stage suddenly went completely dark. Sounds were cut off. The three were stopped so suddenly by the blackout. They froze on the spot. "Eh?" Tenn wondered how it happened. The sky was bright and clear. Every performances beforehand were flawless without even little technical issues.

All of a sudden, there was a cracking noise and one of the very small but heavy overhead spotlights fell down from the top of the stage and

_CRASH_

A high school student felt a wave of dizziness. Soon, his consciousness left his body as he fell face down to the ground.

“IORI!!!!”

Kujou Riku screamed loudly as he witnessed the whole scene. The light fell down and hit Iori’s back of the head, making the boy collapsed to the floor, not moving. Fans in the front near the stage could see and were screaming in shock. Blood was flowing out of the Iori’s fresh wounds, staining the floor and the collar of his clothes. Tenn immediately ran to the backstage to get help. Riku rushed to his boyfriend in a panic. The solo idol's breathing was uneven and rapid but he knew he had to help Iori first.

The body of the youngest idol lied still. Riku teared off the cloak of his stage costume to use it to stop Iori's bleeding. He had always been in and out of the hospital so he was able to tell himself to calm down and deal with the situation.

"Riku, how is Izumi?" Tenn rushed back out, saying help is coming soon. "No-* _cough*_  not good...he is still bleeding and is unconscious" After hearing Riku's reply, Tenn crouched down and touched his twin's back. "Listen, I will take it from here. Go back, Riku" Tenn stared into Riku's eyes. It was not a request, it was an order. The last thing he wanted was for Riku to have an attack. "I will take good care of him, now go!" Tenn ordered again so Riku got up, looked back hesitantly before walking away.

As soon as the redhead entered the backstage area he was met with Matsuri units who originally had to get on stage right after them. Yamato and Nagi were busy calming Mitsuki down, who was crying heavily. Gaku walked forward, about to approach Riku when a certain woman came stomping and cutting the queue.

"Kujou" Riku's manager grabbed his wrist tightly. "We are leaving." She pulled the tired Riku with so much force that the boy stumbled forward and gasped. Gaku noticed and yelled "Oi don't yank him like that! And where do yo-"

"We are pulling out" The manager turned to snap at Gaku. "Pah! This whole event is a total waste of time." She walked away and kept yanking Riku. "Come, Kujou!" Riku had to comply otherwise he would end up with an injured arm or an attack. Gaku gritted his teeth and stared at the two in anger, but that anger became less intense when Riku flashed his face of apology, worry and sadness to him.

~~

Friends Day event had to end so suddenly because of that accident. The audience were safely evacuated even though most of them were in panic and everything was in chaos. The news of this accident probably went live on several channels throughout Japan by now. Not that anyone in I6 or TRIGGER cared at this moment.

“Iori, you have to be okay”

Mitsuki prayed over and over again for his little brother in the operating room to be safe. He was crying badly before but now he was just waiting anxiously for the doctor to walk out and say that his precious brother is fine.

The rest of I6 members and Tsumugi were also waiting in front of that room. “Sou-chan, I’m scared” Tamaki lowered his head down onto Sougo’s lap. Sougo could only pat Tamaki’s head and said “Iori-kun will be okay...” Although, he was not actually sure. Iori did not respond at all when the ambulance took him away. Tamaki's mother passed away after collapsing and being taken away by an ambulance. He was afraid the same thing would happen to Iori.

A minute later, TRIGGER members entered the scene. They did not need to ask about Iori since the atmosphere was so gloomy. Tenn went into the warmth and comfort of Gaku’s arms. He felt hopeless. He was not able to do anything much back then. He could only watch the whole thing happen and attempted to stop the bleeding. “Tenn, you did your best...” Ryuu was trying to tell Tenn that the boy did well. Iori got his help immediately because Tenn reacted right away. Gaku hugged Tenn tightly to passively tell Tenn the same thing Ryuu was thinking.

“Why does this have to happen...?” Mitsuki walked back to sit on a chair next to Yamato. He started crying again. “Iori...he was so * _sob*_  happy the day before...when he told me Riku asked him out” Mitsuki recalled when Iori came back to the dorm with a gentle smile. “He was so full of life...uuuuuu”

“Mitsu...” Yamato grabbed Mitsuki’s shoulder. He knew how much the Izumi brothers love each other. It was painful to see them like this.

After an hour went by, the green light on the operating room was finally switched off, catching everyone’s attention. The doctor came out of the room and Mitsuki quickly jumped up on his feet. “Sensei! Is my little brother okay?!?”

“Yes, however” Mitsuki’s was about to smile in relief but was stopped by that word. “He will have to refrain from doing anything too physical. This is to make sure the large wound heal properly. Also, because of where he was hit, he will get dizzy spells from time to time for the next few months, so please take good care of him. Now, please excuse me.”

“Months...No way...” Tsumugi looked down to the ground with teary eyes. She cares much about Iori, but also about I6. It means I6 won’t be able to function fully for a relatively long time.

Iori was still asleep when he was moved from the operating room to a regular patient's room. The boy's head was wrapped around with bandages. In order to cause less disturbance, I6 and TRIGGER went back to their places except for Mitsuki and Yamato who was there to make sure the brothers were alright.

Iori's face twitched around half an hour later before finally opening his eyes. Mitsuki rushed to Iori's bedside right away. "Iori?! Iori, are you okay?!" Yamato followed behind Mitsuki but kept some distance.

It took a while for Iori's eyes to focus. "N-Nii-san...? Owww" He groaned when his head started giving him war. Mitsuki tried very hard not to cry and failed. Still, he managed to tell his little brother what happened, with Yamato's help.

"I'm sorry...for causing trouble" Iori proceeded to apologise when both Yamato and Mitsuki gave the young boy disapproving looks. "Ichi, it's not your fault. It was an accident."

Mitsuki reminded Iori to thank Tenn later for helping him. When Tenn's name was mentioned, Iori recalled that he went on stage with Tenn and Riku.

"What happened to Riku?"

~~

"Manager-san w-why are we here?"

Riku was surprised when his manager did not drive him back home or to the agency. He was taken to one of the places he never ever wanted to step his foot in.

It was Kujou Takamasa's holiday home. A medium sized house in the quiet area of the city. Riku was treated like a prisoner by his manager. She yanked and shoved him around like an object until they entered a certain room in that house: Takamasa's office.

"...! Father, you are in Japan?!" They boy's eyes widened when a man at the end of the room turned around to face his son. The man did not answer. Instead, he walked forward and took a hold of Riku's chin. Their faces were close to touching. "You have been very naughty, my son"

Riku shook himself away from the man. "Is that frustration and hatred in see in your eyes?" Takamasa smirked. "My, my that rat was quite a handful...fufufufu" The man seemed amused by something. Riku did not quite comprehend.

"Father, I said I am your tool no longer. Now let me go!" Riku growled. The man he wanted to be with right now was not Takamasa. It was Iori. Riku wanted to go to the boy's side to check if he was okay.

"SHUT UP!" Composure in Takamasa's soul did not exist anymore. His eyes were red with anger. Riku had never seen his father like that. Sure, the man was obsessed with pursuing his dream and made him suppress his emotions, but that was all he was. He was never violent. He never let anger take the best of him.

"Or..." Takamasa started laughing like a mad man. "Do you want your beloved twin brother to end up like that rat too...? Ahaha...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Strength left Riku's body when he realised what the man meant. "Father...you..." The redhead felt like he couldn't breathe. His knees flopped to the ground. Nothing went into his lungs as he drew in deep breaths while he was broken by his father's actions.

He did not know who the man in front of him was. He only knew that man had lost his sanity.

“You tried to kill Iori...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pain and suffering never ends in this fic huh? Takamasa has gone mad confirmed. I would be shattered if I were Riku in that moment. 
> 
> Again, comments, kudos etc are always appreciated! If you want to contact me 'kenarkrsun' is my twitter (it's a mess but yea) and 'gamerhamsterkenar' is my IG ^^


	20. Desperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Kujou Riku after Friends Day?

“Gaku, did Riku go back home?”

TRIGGER’s centre turned around to face the leader when the three exited the hospital after knowing Iori was safe. Tenn asked Gaku knowing he was at the backstage at the time the accident happened.

“His manager pulled him away” Gaku recalled the scene. “I don’t like how she treated him”

Tenn put his fingers on his chin to think. “I thought he would have come to check on Izumi by now...” He nodded to accept Gaku’s answer and notified that he will text the boy later. Each member then went their separate ways.

~~

Even when he was given a painkiller, Iori kept getting a throbbing headache. Two days had passed since he got into an accident. I6, Tsumugi, Banri and Otoharu visited him yesterday, wishing for him to get well soon. The doctor said he may need to spend up to two weeks in the hospital.

Iori had not checked his phone. He did not feel well enough to, but he knew he did not get a phone call ever since he regained his consciousness and honestly, he felt a mixture of disappointment, anger and worry. He wondered why Riku hadn’t called him. No group members mentioned anything about Riku so he must be fine, right?

The next day, Riku returned to an entertainment business. When he was asked about the accident, he simply said it was tragic and he hoped I6’s centre can make a full recovery soon. However, his face showed no emotion on that topic whatsoever. Iori could not help crying quietly when he was alone after he saw the broadcast.

Riku was made to live in his insane’s father house with someone guarding him 24/7. His phone was destroyed by Takamasa and he had no access to other devices capable of using internet or contacting people. During work, his manager never left him alone. Whenever Riku tried to defy his cold manager’s orders, she shut him up by threatening him with Tenn’s safety. At Kujou’s house, his guard threatened to hurt him if he showed any emotion.

Riku was an animal working for a circus.

TRIGGER went to visit Iori the day after Riku’s return. When Iori saw the faces of the three, he frowned. Something did not feel quite right. Ryuu smiled drily. Gaku had that glare which was more fierce than usual. Tenn’s voice had a slight hint of shakiness when he greeted Iori.

“Are you feeling better, Iori-kun?” Ryuu asked while Tenn went to replace flowers in the vase with new ones.

“Yes, Tsunashi-san thank you for your concern.” Iori still had a wave of headache and dizziness every so often, but he was definitely doing better than a few days before. The heavy atmosphere was crushing the student, so he decided to ask. “I don’t mean to be rude when you are visiting, but why do you all look so troubled.”

Ryuu and Gaku looked at each other, not sure how to begin. Tenn sighed and grabbed a chair to sit by Iori’s bedside. “Has Riku come here?” He asked and when Iori answered with a no, his eyes widened in surprise.

“That brat” Gaku tightened his fist “The hell is he up to?”

“None of us heard from Riku-kun. We all tried contacting him.” Ryuu said with a worried face.

Iori had the same face TRIGGER had now. He grew even more anxious when Gaku told the boy about the last time he saw the redhead.

“Sorry, Izumi Iori” Tenn apologised genuinely. Gaku then added. “Focus on getting better first. We will see if any of us can approach him at work.”

“It’s fine.” Iori thanked Tenn for getting help for him and thanked TRIGGER for informing him about Riku as he would rather know the truth.  _How come he is not answering his twin’s texts? He hasn’t called any of us._

_Riku, what’s wrong? I hope you are okay._

~~

_CRASH_

Riku picked up a chair in his room and threw it to the wall. “Calm yourself!” The guard that was assigned to control Riku rushed to the boy and effortlessly stopped Riku from trashing about. He was very muscular and aggressive. Riku had no way of fighting back.

Riku stopped struggling and wept. He simply could not take it anymore. His father told him I6 was ‘destroyed for good’. His boyfriend. His lover. His reason to live. His control. His saviour. Gone.  _It’s my fault. It’s all my fault that Iori almost died!_

_I shouldn’t have cried that day at Music Festa so he wouldn’t have found me!_  

_I should have shaken him away when he found me at the hospital._

_I shouldn’t have texted him. I shouldn’t have asked him out._

“Oi, stop crying!” The guard reached into his pocket and pulled out a small fold-able knife. “Quiet or I’ll cut you!”

_The people around me. The kind people. The people I love..._   _They are hurting because of me._   _All of these happened because I want to feel._  

_All because I exist!_

Riku looked up at the guard’s face with his eyes of repentance. “Go on then, stab me” He spoke with his shaky voice to the guard. His eyes of hatred and fury changed into a tearful pair. He opened his arms to give a message that his body was wide open. “What are you waiting for?”

The guard bit his lip in frustration before putting his knife away. “Crazy kid” he mumbled. “Just stay quiet” He went back to his post: room door.

Riku turned around, went to lie on his bed. He took care not to work up his lungs too much. He wept quietly until consciousness left his body.

_Iori, I love you...so much._

_Please, forgive me._

~~

“What the hell was that sloppy performance, Kujou?!?”

The female manager closed the door behind her before yelling at the boy who was sitting down on the chair and panting. Riku just had a TV performance and his dances were a total mess. They showed no power and came off amateurish. His vocal also did not shine through. How can you expect someone to do their job right when they are living under an insane household?

In fact, there were gossips going around about Kujou Riku because he had been messing up a lot. At one of the TV shows earlier this week, Riku had to ask the staffs to let him re-do the performance five times. At a magazine shooting job, he was told to put his heart into his job more by the director.

Kujou Riku's life right now was hell. The only good thing he had heard since Friends Day was that Iori was discharged from the hospital and I6 could only take smaller or individual jobs that were not too hard for Iori's condition. Riku only found this out from overhearing the staffs talking.

Riku had not seen I6 or TRIGGER ever since the tragic incident. He wished he could see Iori, his Tenn-nii and everyone else.

~~

"What a terrible performance. He might as well not go on stage."

Tenn bit his lip as he grabbed the remote to turn off the TV. Ryuu and Gaku were also at his place. If the situation was different, he would have told Riku that he was taking advantage of his fans by giving them a less-than-average show. He would have told the boy that he was ashamed to have lost against a pathetic idol at BLACK or WHITE, but something was very wrong here.

Kujou Riku had never ever messed up. He was just as perfect as TRIGGER centre on stage. Although, after Friends Day, he had made all kinds of mistakes from unnoticeable to blatant at most of his jobs. Even Gaku knew it wasn't normal.

"Riku..."

~~

"Riku..."

Iori had been working hard to catch up with school and taking care of his health. He got dizzy spells and headaches from time to time, but he could do photoshoot jobs. Dancing was still too much for the young centre.

The young boy knew he should only focus on getting better and getting I6 back on track first. His heart defied him though. He could not stop thinking of his boyfriend, Riku, especially after seeing his awful performances again and again on TV.

Talks were going around too. There were articles and blogs online discussing changes in Kujou Riku's act after the incident. Some fans said it was understandable since he must have been so shocked seeing Iori covered in blood. Some other people said a professional should not let such things interfere with work.

"Iori, can I come in?"

There was a knock on the door and it was from Mitsuki. The older brother entered Iori's room and went to him. "Nii-san" Iori, sitting on his desk chair, put down his phone and turned to Mitsuki.

"How are you feeling?" Mitsuki asked. Concern was clearly shown on his face. Iori let out a short sigh before giving a mini smile. "Same as before, Nii-san. I feel dizzy occasionally, but I've been taking good care of my health."

Mitsuki was not satisfied with his brother's answer. He shook his head. "I don't mean physically, Iori. I mean..." He took a little pause. "Riku. Have you two talked?"

Iori looked down. His eyes were showing a hint of sadness even though he was trying not to look grim. "No. I can't reach him."

"Just what is going on with that guy?!?" Mitsuki was frustrated. The whole thing seemed wrong. Iori had always helped Riku when he was in trouble, but now that Iori got into trouble, Riku disappeared. No matter how hard Mitsuki tried to imagine the possible scenarios of why Riku did not visit or even text Iori, he couldn't forgive Riku. He couldn't believe he was supportive of their relationship before when he seemed to be using Iori to his advantage.

Iori knew what Mitsuki had in mind and he could understand that. Mitsuki had always looked out for him. The eldest had always said how he never got to act like a proper older brother. To Iori, he had always been the best older brother. He could never asked for anyone better.

_I am hurt. It hurts a lot. Riku is mean. Very mean._

_Nevertheless,..._   _I am afraid. More afraid than anything. I can't stand to see Riku in pain._   _Riku has already changed so much since the first time we met._   _I am afraid I would lose the 'real' Riku I tried to save._   _I am afraid he would try to end it all again._   _I am happy...when I know he can be happy too._

"Nii-san" Iori looked into Mitsuki's eyes. "I have a request"

~~

Mitsuki sighed as he made his way to the address written on the paper with Yamato.

_Nii-san, I know I am being selfish and I am sorry._

“Mitsu” Yamato put his hand on Mitsuki’s shoulder. “Don’t overthink it. Riku might be full of issues, but he isn’t a bad kid”

_I want to keep believing in Riku._

“But Yamato-san” Mitsuki looked down. “I just don’t want Iori to suffer”

“To be honest if I were Ichi I would probably not associate with the guy in the first place” The two got out of the taxi in front of a certain apartment. Yamato smiled at Mitsuki. “Your brother is strong. Plus, he is logical, you know that. He won’t let love blind his judgement”

“Thank you, Yamato-san” Mitsuki smiled a little. The two looked at each other and nodded before stepping into Riku’s apartment building.

_Please check on him for me._

The two walked up the stairs to Riku flat’s. What they did not expect was two people were already standing in front of Riku’s room, ringing the bell and pounding on his door. “Riku open up please! It’s me, Tenn!” Gaku turned his head to find two people walking towards them.

“...! Nikaido and Izumi-ani...”

~~

At first, Tenn rang the doorbell normally like any other person would. Until desperation hit him in the chest, he had been trying to contact Riku for way too long without getting any replies. Now, in front of his little brother’s apartment, he was again treated with silence. Tenn had had enough.

“Riku! Tenn-nii is here!” He pounded the door. “Please open. Are you ill, Riku? I’m not here to lecture you. Please just open so I know you are okay!” Tenn shouted.

“Yaotome, what’s going on?” Yamato walked closer to the couple and asked.

“Oi Tenn calm down!” Gaku turned to shout at Tenn before turning to Yamato and Mitsuki. “Apparently Kujou Riku has been ignoring everyone’s messages”

Tenn stopped pounding on the door and went to punch Gaku’s stomach. “NO GAKU! Something is wrong with him! There is no way this is my little brother’s intention!” His teary eyes indicated that he was clearly panicking. Gaku pulled Tenn’s head onto his chest. “I’m sorry...” It was a very wrong time for teasing, and a very wrong time for being tactless.

Yamato and Mitsuki looked at each other. “Maybe he is out?” Yamato asked and right away Gaku shook his head. “We’ve been here for four hours. It’s late and Kujou should have been back by now.” Tenn broke down crying in Gaku’s embrace. He felt like he had lost all hope. He was not okay. His brother clearly had not been okay and he wanted to help.

~~

_SMACK!_

“YOU STUPID TOOL!” Kujou Takamasa sent Riku rolling on the ground with his hands clutching his chest and roared as soon as Riku stepped into his office in the confined house. The man’s anger was through the roof. Kujou Riku was not doing well. He did not lose popularity by much, and with I6 not fully functional, his only true opponent was TRIGGER. Yet, Riku could not rise because he messed up time and time again. That was not Takamasa’s goal. His goal was for his Riku to reach the TOP and take the crown of the entertainment business.

Just like any other day since Friends Day, after getting verbally and physically abused by his father, Riku was locked in his room with a guard.

“I don’t..know what to do * _sob*_ ” Riku mumbled. By now, Takamasa’s men gave up trying to stop Riku from feeling. The redhead lied on his side in his bed, letting tears flow and wet his cheeks. “I can’t take it anymore, Iori. Tenn-nii. Where are you? It hurts. Everything hurts. I...I...”

“I don’t want to live anymore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been fighting with this demon called 'writer's block' so please forgive me for updating slowly.  
> Riku ;-; I'm sorry (not sorry) for making him go through sth like that.   
> Please give me cookies by commenting (LOL). If you wanna contact me or anything @kenarkrsun is my Twitter :P


	21. Broken Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sougo came up with a plan to help Kujou Riku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning - strong language  
> Enjoy! ^^  
> Oh and finally I figured out how to add a picture so here's a book cover on Wattpad. (I also put it on the first chapter)

\----------------------------

The next week, Riku was quickly becoming more lifeless. No amount of make up could hide his tiredness. He kept getting attacks every now and then. The agency simply said that Riku caught a cold. Directors and broadcasters rolled their eyes when they knew they had to work with Kujou Riku. The boy was full of trouble.

Kujou Riku was at his limit.

Ryuu had tried knocking on Riku’s prep room door before when they had a photoshoot in the same location, but Riku’s manager sent the poor guy away in the coldest way possible.

TRIGGER went and asked Yaotome Sousuke for help. Tenn almost begged. The idols were simply told to stay away from Kujou Riku. Anesagi said it was the president’s and her job to protect their idols, even if the path was full of thorns. If only they knew about the attempted murder, they may have had a different approach to the situation.

The adults in Takanashi Productions were sympathetic towards Riku knowing something was going on. Still, they had a somewhat similar view as Yaotome Productions. Trying to get involved with a matter of an idol from another agency was a complicated and delicate process.

“Sou-chan...is there nothing we can do?”

Tamaki went to sit in Sougo’s room. It was very rare for him to not have any Ousama pudding in his hands. The young boy seemed worried. The way he sat on the floor and hugged his knees confirmed it. “Tamaki-kun” Sougo sat on his bed and looked at Tamaki with eyes full of concern.

“Iorin is upset. It’s so obvious. Rikkun seems sick. They are so not happy. It makes everyone sad. I don’t like it. Sou-chan, isn’t there a way to solve this?”

Sougo sighed. “I wish there were an easy way.” He was stressed since the atmosphere around the group became heavy. Even though it should have been none of their concerns, Riku was one of their friends, and Iori’s lover. Sougo did not say anything anymore after that, but he had an idea. A risky idea he was willing to go through to save the whole group and Kujou Riku from misery.

“Everyone” After dinner, Sougo made an announcement. “Do we all agree that we want to help Kujou Riku-kun?”

An analytical look was shown on Iori’s face. “Osaka-san, what are you trying to say?” Everyone else sat silently after the young centre’s question so Sougo continued.

“I have a plan. In order to ensure success, I will need you guys and TRIGGER to help.” Sougo spoke as if he was presenting a new concept in an important meeting to a company. He even placed a document he prepared this afternoon on the table. “Because it will involve some or all of you, I want to make sure we all share the same opinion on Riku-kun’s situation.”

“I want  _everyone_  to be  _happy_!” Nagi was the first to start. Yamato simply nodded along and added that he was happy to go with whatever plan Sougo put on the table. Actually, he was too lazy to go through the thick document. Iori was reading the document seriously and he seemed satisfied with it. The student was more grateful Sougo was willing to put it into action.

There was no need to ask Tamaki, the boy had already expressed his concern earlier. The only one left was Mitsuki, who had not spoken a single word.

“I...I can’t understand him.”

Mitsuki clenched his fist. His expression was almost scary.

“Nii-san...” Iori had a sad look on his face.

“But” Mitsuki kept his mini smile to himself. “I want to be able to, and for that I would need to have a long talk with Riku”

Yamato smiled after making an eye contact with Mitsuki and nodding. I6 came to an agreement to commence the plan. Sougo excused himself to contact TRIGGER.

“Yaaas” Tamaki shouted. “Here’s to kidnapping Rikkun!”

~~

“Osaka Sougo” Tenn approached the gentle boy as soon as he saw him.  He had that professional expression. “Thank you for helping us. I appreciate it.”

Sougo quickly waved his hands shyly. “Oh no, not at all, Nanase-san! It is only natural for friends to help each other.”

It was the day when Kujou Riku had to go on to a live TV show sponsored by the FSC, a huge company owned by Osaka Soushi, Sougo’s father. While Riku was doing his job, Sougo stormed into the broadcasting area wearing an attitude of a rich businessman.

Sougo ordered to one of the ladies involved in recording the show. “This is an order from your sponsor. We have a message for the idol to read out.” The boy with lavender eyes handed the paper of the message to the lady, who looked unconvinced. “Surely you are aware Osaka Soushi is the owner of FSC, who is sponsoring your event as of this moment. I am his son, Osaka Sougo. Your cooperation would be most helpful.”

Sougo held the piece of paper out again and smiled. The lady accepted it right away. If she didn’t, the show could start thinking about saying its farewell and expecting its own doom.

If Riku’s manager was in the area she would probably have interrupted Sougo. Thanks to Iori’s strategic advice and Ryuu’s warning, they had Yamato make use of his superior acting skill earlier. Nagi did the make up for Yamato to make him look much older and prepared a smart suit for this occasion. Yamato, with a short silver hair wig on, approached the cold manager in a professional manner, introducing himself as a movie director who was interested in Riku’s performance. It took Yamato a long while to convince her to discuss the matter in a private room, away from the broadcasting area.

Within a minute, the lady ran to Riku with a note in her hand. Riku took it without thinking much. His eyes widened the moment he unfolded the paper.

“Ah, it is a note from TRIGGER” Riku hid all his emotions and read the message as told. “Tsunashi-san and Yaotome-san said Nanase-san has been having a lot of cake lately. He is having a slice right now in prep room 4. The two said that Nanase-san has never shared his cake and that’s why they want to pass this message to you all.”

Riku kept his character and chuckled. “My, my looks like someone’s going to have to buy a whole cake soon” In the back of his mind though, he knew ‘Prep room 4’ was too oddly specific. Especially when he caught Osaka Sougo staring straight at him. Plus, his manager was not there.

Definitely not a coincidence. Riku might have been naive, but he certainly was not stupid.

As soon as the live show ended, Riku still did not see his manager. He took a gamble and quickly walked away from the broadcast area to find ‘Prep room 4’. It was the smallest prep room in that studio and was a little bit far away from the other prep rooms.

There was only one thought on Riku’s mind at the moment. Tenn-nii. Riku’s only goal was to warn his twin brother about his insane adoptive father.

The redhead no longer cared about anything else. Not even his own life...

Not even Iori.

Riku walked rapidly down the quiet hallway, looking left and right to make sure his manager was not there. All of a sudden, someone managed to creep up behind Riku’s back and put their hand over Riku’s mouth. Their other hand took a hold of Riku’s body.

“Mmmphh!!!” Riku struggled to get out of the grip.

“Riku-kun, listen it’s me. Ryuu. I-“

“MMMMMMMMPPPPPPHHH!!!”

Riku was indeed listening. Instead of calming down though, he shook himself even more violently while fighting for air. Riku could only think about if his manager were to appear now, his twin’s life would be in danger. His father was crazy. Riku believed the man could actually brutally murder someone.

Ryuu used his strength to grip Riku tightly. He looked behind him, expecting an accomplice.

Another set of footsteps could be heard. This time, another attacker put a blindfold on Riku. “Shhh! Rikkun calm down, don’t shout okay? It’s me. Tamaki. Just come with us, understood?”

Because Riku would not stop fighting back, “Tamaki” Ryuu and Tamaki proceeded with their next plan. Ryuu changed his grip so that he could lift Riku’s from under arms. Tamaki took a hold of Riku’s legs and together, they ran to their destination: Gaku’s car.

Riku gave up on fighting. He didn’t even have the strength to shout when Ryuu stopped covering his mouth given how poor his health had been.  _But Tenn-nii...Tenn-nii!_

“Riku!”

As soon as Tamaki and Ryuu placed Riku lying on his back in the backseat of the car, Gaku drove off like a man who had just successfully robbed a bank.

Riku tried to speak while drawing in deep laboured breaths. That voice, of course he would know it from anywhere. “Tenn-nii!” Tenn gently untied the blindfold to prevent Riku from forcefully tearing it off.

Finally, they met again.

Riku looked up to see a pair of glistening pink eyes which belonged to the only angel he knew in this world. The youngest reached his hand up, gently caressing Tenn’s warm cheek.

Riku could feel his face getting wet.

“Oh Riku” Tenn took Riku’s hand and clasped it in between his own. He wished he had never let the boy go. He messed up and never learned from his mistakes. How many times would it take for Tenn to remember to stay by Riku’s side?

“Tenn-nii * _huff*_  don’t...cry”

Riku felt a moment of calmness he had never experienced for a long time. Somehow, for a brief period of time, he could forget everything he had been through.

"Rest now, Riku"

Tenn placed Riku's hand back on the boy's chest. He hummed a peaceful melody he had always sung for Riku when they were kids. Riku soon let the darkness take over as he fell asleep.

~~

_Fufufu...kid, you are breaking my rules. You don't care about the consequences, do you?_

_It's because you don't have any emotions._

_That's right, you're fucked in the head._

_And my son, your brother is dead._

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

The redhead sprang himself up and screamed to the top of his lungs. "NO DON'T KILL TENN-NII!!"

"Riku!" Tenn immediately swung the door open and ran to hug Riku who was trembling, sobbing, choking and screaming in fear. All the things he said consisted of the words 'Tenn' and 'kill'. Tenn was more than shocked to hear but kept hugging the boy tightly. This time, he was not letting go. "Riku, I'm here. I'm right here. Calm down."

Riku tugged Tenn's shirt and looked up at Tenn's face with his tearful eyes. "Tenn-nii?"

"Yes. Tenn-nii is here, Riku. Have you forgotten me?" Tenn gave Riku his soft angelic smile.

"No..." The boy buried his face in Tenn's warm chest. "I thought you were dead." With that, Riku's breaths became rapid again. He looked around frantically. "Oh no, no, where am I? Where's manager-san? No, what if she sees us?"

Riku saw that he was on someone's double bed with a rather luxury-looking bed sheet. The room had basic bedroom furniture such as a closet and a drawer. They were all white with golden edges. On the ceiling, there was a dazzling chandelier lighting up the whole room.

Riku had no idea where he was.

"Breathe, Riku. Breathe" Tenn was worried Riku might need an oxygen. They did not have any as Gaku was still out buying it somewhere. At least the boy had an inhaler on him. Tenn rubbed the boy's back. "Tell me what's going on, Riku"

"I-I need to go back. Or, or-"

"Please, Riku" Tenn pleaded. "I'm here to help. Not just me. Gaku, Ryuu and I6 all are wor-"

Riku cut Tenn off. "Father * _cough*_  will kill you Tenn-nii!!"

Tenn froze on the spot.

~~

Tenn, and a short while later, Gaku, sat in the room and listened to emotionless Riku who was explaining that the ‘accident’ on Friends Day was actually an attempted murder. Also, he explained how he was confined and supervised at all times. Gaku gritted his teeth and punched the wall in frustration. It may be true that he did not like Kujou Riku much but no one should be treated this way. Tenn had tears sitting on his eyes, ready to fall. He tried to remain calm and strong for Riku who was the one who went through hell.

“Now that you know the truth, let me go Tenn-nii” Riku stood up but Tenn reacted quickly and pushed Riku’s shoulder down. “No, like I said, we’re helping you. Right, Gaku?” Tenn turned to his lover and Gaku simply nodded.

Riku ignored it and tried to walk away. Gaku appeared in front of him. “No one will find us here, Kujou. Your old friends helped us out.”

“My...friends?” Riku tilted his head in confusion. It was then the door was swung open and two familiar faces appear.

“Momo-san and Yuki-san...” Riku spoke.

“Darling and I knew something was going on watching you on TV!” Momo ran to Riku and took the boy’s arms.

“Oh. When Iori-kun contacted us Momo was overjoyed...imagine how jealous I was” Yuki twirled his long hair and made a hurt face so Momo quickly ran to hug Yuki. “He anticipated that your manager might come hunting you down so he asked us to help.”

“Meaning?” Riku spoke with blank eyes.

“You are at our house, Riku-kun. No one should know where a nobody like us lives, hmm?” Yuki gave a gentle, reassuring smile. Momo nodded along with Yuki. “Make yourself comfortable” The odd couple then left Tenn, Gaku and Riku on their down in their bedroom.

“Alright” Riku gave in and sat back down on the edge of the bed. “What now?”

Tenn was taken aback by the whole event if he had to be honest. Not because he was a target, but because of how cold Riku had been after calming down. He could not care less about Kujou Takamasa killing him. He just wanted to save Riku. Still, he was surprised how Riku had never even mentioned Iori’s name or asked about the boy other than talking about Friends day. “Riku, aren’t you forgetting someone?”

There was a knock on the door. “Excuse me” The boy turned the door knob and let himself in.

Riku looked up, his emotionless eyes met with a pair of familiar greyish blue eyes.

“Iori”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, they got Riku now. I wonder what will happen next teehee~  
> I know the last chapter hurt a lot of you poor souls I hope this can revive you lovely people a bit before I take you all on an underwater rollercoaster ride again :P (well, my signature word: maybe XD)  
> I'm still having a block on some parts so bear with. Thank you for all your lovely support ALWAYS!!  
> If you wanna contact me or anything @kenarkrsun is my twitter ^^


	22. The end of Kujou Riku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku and Iori finally got to see each other for the first time since Friends Day

“Iori”

Tenn and Gaku left the room for the two to have their moment of reunion. Iori took a chair and sat in front of Riku so he could see his boyfriend’s face fully. As expected, Riku’s eyes were blank like a doll’s.

“Kujou-san, how have you been?” Iori had not heard about anything from Tenn. He wanted to hear them from Riku himself.

“Fine” Riku answered like a robot.

Iori frowned. He was not satisfied with a generic, thoughtless answer. “Have you got nothing else to say?”

“I don’t understand” Riku answered, tilting his head in a way Iori usually found to be cute. This time however, the younger boy was hurt.

“Riku” Iori grabbed Riku’s shoulders. “Did you forget all the moments we shared? All the things I’ve taught you?”

“I didn’t forget” Riku replied while looking straight into Iori’s eyes. “But I can’t feel, Iori. I could ask you how you have been. How you are now. How your injury is. None of the answers matter to me. I can’t be happy for you. I can’t cry or feel sorry for you. I can apologise a thousand times for not visiting you if that’s what you want, but you know deep down, I’m nothing.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!!” Iori squeezed Riku’s shoulder and bit his bottom lip. The young boy had hardly ever lost his composure yet this was the second time Riku got to see him this way, or rather, made him feel this way. His eyes reflected pain, anger, sadness and lastly, loneliness. “Do you realise how much I’ve cried, how scared I am every time seeing you as a marionette on TV?!?. He tugged Riku’s shirt. “I’ve been so afraid of losing you, losing the pure and genuine Riku who asked me out! You can’t be saying it’s all over!”

The redhead suddenly felt a dangerously high surge of anger that he pulled Iori’s head up by grabbing the boy’s hair. “OWOWOWOWOW!” Iori cried out. “Riku ow stop!”

Riku shoved Iori to the side, making the boy fall to the floor. Iori winced. He could normally fight Riku’s force if it wasn’t for his condition. He was holding his head, trying to keep focus despite feeling a wave of dizziness hitting him.

Riku stood up, crouched and grabbed Iori by the collar. “Iori doesn’t understand! When I cried, they hurt me. When I got sick, they blamed me, threatened me, told me that I’m useless! Iori is terrible. I don’t want these torturous feelings. I don’t want-  _cough cough cough!_ ”

The solo idol clutched his chest with his hand. He collapsed with his head on Iori’s thigh. “Riku!” Iori’s vision was sometimes blurry, sometimes clear. He struggled to find Riku’s inhaler so he shouted as loud as possible. “HELP Nanase-san! Yaotome-san!”

Good thing they weren’t too far away. Tenn rushed in and helped Riku with his attack while Gaku helped the young centre get up and lied him down on the double bed. Soon, Tenn and Gaku placed the exhausted Riku next to Iori. “Let them rest” Tenn tugged Gaku’s arm and together, they left. Gaku hesitated.

“Things got physical...is it really okay to leave them like that?” Gaku asked as soon as they got out of the room.

“We’ll be nearby. It’s their problem to solve. We-, especially you big dummy, can’t help.” Tenn answered and of course they had their couple quarrel once again.

~~

“ _sob_   _sob_ ” Riku let his tears roll down. He couldn’t keep anything suppressed anymore. He put one of his arms on his forehead and cried.

“Hmph” Iori looked at the slow spinning ceiling. “Telling me you can’t feel and here you are weeping like a baby” he sighed.

Riku attempted to wipe his tears and turned his body to face Iori. “Everything hurts”

Iori’s eyes widened. He slowly turned to face Riku and was drawn in by the red eyes full of pain. The same eyes Iori had earlier. The high school student shifted forward so his face was close to Riku’s. He then lifted his pale arm and caressed Riku’s wet cheek before moving it to the older boy’s back and pressed it so Riku shifted himself forward into an embrace.

“Cry, Riku.” Iori spoke with his quiet voice. “I’m here. No one will harm you. And don’t worry about losing it, I’m your control, remember?”

Riku dried off his tears with his hands. “Yeah right...you couldn’t even stop me earlier” The boy laughed a little.

Iori rolled out of the embrace and lied on his back, still facing Riku with his smug face. “I was simply caught off guard. There’s no way you can fight me when I’m in my best condition. I’ll definitely chain you down and tame you.” He pinched Riku’s cheek and winked.

“You’re just like father” Riku said without really giving it much thought.

“Hah!?!” Iori couldn’t believe what he just heard. “How insensitive can you be?”

“Will you give me a collar too?” Riku pushed himself up and sat cross-legged before moving his face close to Iori’s. “I want a cool-looking one”

“KUJOU-SAN BAKA!!!” The high school student grabbed a pillow next to him and threw it at Riku’s face.

[Meanwhile,...

Tenn and Gaku were right outside the bedroom door, listening in to the conversation. Tenn stated it was ‘for the purpose of safety’. “Your little brother has got weird taste” Gaku spoke and immediately he felt pain shot from his foot as Tenn stomped and twisted it in the harshest way possible.]

After the moment of teasing, Riku explained everything to Iori, this time with words full of emotions. Whenever Riku felt out of control, Iori would calm him down.

The high school student was more than furious.

_Kujou Takamasa will pay._

~~

Riku and Iori together walked out of the room (they were holding hands, mind you) to join Tenn and Gaku at the large white dining table. Momo and Yuki were nowhere to be seen. They were most likely off to their evening jobs at their theme cafe.

Without having to state the topic, the four began their discussion about ‘rescuing’ Kujou Riku. Gaku said a matter like this should be reported to their presidents and both Tenn and Iori agreed.

An urgent meeting was arranged the same evening. All I6 and TRIGGER members, Anesagi, Tsumugi, Banri, Otoharu and Sousuke met at Yaotome Productions. Riku was very careful with hiding his identity on his way there, knowing his father and manager would send someone to search for him. Tenn took care of explaining the situations which shocked everyone. There were sounds of gasps, table slams and dropped objects.

“President, we NEED to involve the police!” Anesagi suggested her idea to Sousuke, which he agreed. “Tenn’s life is in danger” She panicked.

Otoharu nodded. “I agree this is a matter between life and death. However...” The gentle president turned to Riku. “Riku-kun, you do realise this will affect your career, right?”

True, there was a high chance Riku’s agency was involved with attempted murder as it was staged so well it could not have been the work of just one or two people. This meant that Riku’s agency would definitely be shut down by law. Or, even if the agency was somehow proved to be innocent, they would likely kick Riku, a son of a murderer, out to save their reputation.

Riku gulped. Being an idol was everything to him. It was his own dream and not Takamasa’s. Even though he was made to act in a certain way, singing and putting smiles on people’s faces was Riku’s salvation.

He looked at Iori who was sitting right next to him. Then he looked around the room. There, he had his answer.

Riku stood up and spoke with full determination. “Please proceed with the plan”

“Riku!” Tenn’s eyes widened. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, Tenn-nii” Riku smiled a little when actually the boy was on the verge of tears. “I am a professional who brings entertainment to my fans. I know the news would disappoint or upset them greatly”

“But I refuse to sacrifice my family and friends to walk such a path. Even...even if it costs me my life” Riku looked at Tenn, then Iori. He let his tears flow.

Nevertheless, he smiled. Smiled because he was crying about the decision he had made himself.

Iori tugged Riku’s arm. Now was not the time to act reserved. “Riku! You might never get another chance to be an idol again!”

“I * _sob*_  know, Iori, I know...” Riku answer with his weak, shaky voice. “It’s why I said all those things.” The older boy gave Iori the tightest hug. Iori of course returned it in the same matter. Mitsuki was getting teary watching the scene. 

Otoharu and Yaotome looked at each other before Otoharu spoke. “Very well, Riku-kun. In order for us protect our idols, we will proceed with the plan.”

“Yes, Takanashi-san.” Riku bowed deeply to everyone in the room. “I thank you...from the bottom of my heart”

~~

Sousuke contacted the police right away. Riku, Iori and Tenn gave their testimonies and told the police of Takamasa’s address. Riku and Tenn offered to be a bait in order to gather evidence as fast as possible. The police put audio recorders on the twins and drove them to Takamasa’s house. They parked the police car a few blocks away so no one in the house would notice. Iori insisted that Tenn should contact him once they were done with the plan. 

“Riku, are you really ok?” Tenn touched Riku’s shoulder. His eyes were full of sympathy.

Riku gave a sad smile. “Like I said, I’ve been through a lot Tenn-nii. This will pass.”

“Even so...” Tenn was not convinced. He cursed himself for not being able to do anything to stop Riku from being taken away in the past.

“Thanks for being by my side, Tenn-nii” Riku took hold of Tenn’s warm, slender hand. “Let’s end this”

Tenn nodded, and together, the twins stepped into the house. Right away, they met the man they had been wanting to see.

Takamasa stormed out of his office as soon as he heard the footsteps. Without any hesitation whatsoever, his hands went for Riku’s neck, squeezing it hard. “Where have you been huh, you little fool?”

“...! Ngghh!”

“No! Stop it!” Tenn panicked by the sudden violent attack. He used all his strength to kick Takamasa away. Luckily, it worked. Riku’s adoptive father was unhealthily thin and pale after all. Takamasa stumbled backwards and the grip on Riku's neck was released. The younger twin collapsed to the ground, trying to draw in deep breaths between coughs. Tenn quickly went to his twin.

It was then he heard a sound of a certain object.

A loaded gun.

Takamasa pulled out his gun and pointed at Tenn. “MWAHAHAHAHA thanks for saving my sweat from trying to hunt you down, Nanase Tenn. HAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!”

“NOW DIE!” He roared

“No * _cough*_  Te-Tenn-nii!” Riku reached his hands towards his brother.

_BANG_

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGHHHH!!!”

Several policemen ran into the scene from all directions. Some came through the front door. Some entered by climbing the windows in the back.

Tenn checked his body. He did not feel any pain. There was no blood on his clothes. He looked around and finally was able to grasp what happened.

One of the policemen shot Takamasa’s gun arm and made the man drop the gun. The insane guy was being arrested and taken care of as of now. Two policemen and two medics came to Tenn and Riku to retrieve the audio recorders and treated the boy’s lungs condition.

While Riku was on the floor, getting his oxygen, he glanced at Tenn.

His angel smiled at him.

“It’s over now, Riku. You’re free.”

~~

Takamasa was jailed for more than a single crime he had committed such as physical abuse and attempted murder. The police ran further investigations and within two weeks time, Kujou Riku’s agency was shut down because several staffs were found to be involved in Friends Day tragedy.

Takanashi and Yaotome Productions did their best to not let much details about the Kujou Takamasa and Friends Day leak to the public. Still, we were talking about an entertainment industry here. Rumours were flying around about why an agency of one of Japan’s top idol suddenly got shut down. Some other idol agencies saw this as their golden opportunity to strike. They stepped up to talk about how Kujou Riku had a terrible personality and was rude to their idols, which was not untrue, the boy was made to act in such a way.

Kujou Riku had lost most of his job offers including live shows, modelling and advertisement filming. He was no longer featured on magazines or billboards. Riku’s fans were divided. At first, the majority of them was sad and disappointed to find there were no future scheduled live events with Riku. They believed Kujou Riku would come back. After some time without any announcements from the idol himself plus those rumours, things changed. Some fans still loved Riku. Some became haters. Some that only cared about his music had no opinions on him.

Simply put, Kujou Riku was a singer with no venues to perform at.

~~

“Fufufufu Isn’t he cute?”

“Yeah! He is totally cute!”

Momo and Yuki giggled as soon as Riku walked out of the private room in the back of their theme cafe in his brand new butler uniform.

“This feels...weird” Riku’s cheek flushed a little red as he checked his costume. Momo ran out of the room to call a certain someone who was waiting in the corridor. “Come in and look!” Momo grabbed hold of the boy’s arm and dragged him into the room.

The boy’s mouth hanged open once he saw Riku in a fancy attire.

“H-how is it, Iori?” Riku couldn’t read Iori’s expression.

“He’s super cute, isn’t he?” Energetic Momo ran to Riku and made a “Ta-dah!” pose.

“Ye-  _ahem_  It...suits you I guess” Iori refrained himself from saying his honest thought.  _That was dangerous!_  He was definitely melting on the inside.

What was going on? Well, since Riku was stripped off his idol career, he had been at a loss of what to do. One day, Momo and Yuki  ~~descended from heaven~~  and decided to check on their old friend. The couple then invited Riku to work at their luxury theme cafe as a butler (aka waiter). Of course, the whole 'disappearance of Kujou Riku' was still a hot topic throughout Japan so he needed to wear his black contact lenses and put on a red hair extension as a disguise.

Yuki smiled in amusement. “Now, introduce yourself, new butler” He ordered.

Riku bowed gracefully to Iori. “Welcome back master, I am Erin, your personal butler this evening.” Iori swore he could hear something crack inside his own body.

Iori sighed. "Are you sure about this, Yuki-san, Momo-san? Kujou-san is a...ummm...dish destroyer..." Iori recalled that day he saw crazy amount of broken dishes in Riku's bin. 

"Fufufu, no need to worry. We have a cart for serving." Yuki answered. It seemed the couple anticipated this. Riku was their old friend after all.

There were many reasons why Riku agreed to do this. First of all, he had the need to find his passion. Sure, being an idol was his dream, his calling even, as he was raised solely for the job, but Riku was still young. It wouldn’t hurt for him to explore life by picking up different kinds of jobs or experience. Another point was that Riku was terrible at communicating and expressing himself. Making him a butler would be a shortcut for him to work on those skills.

Lastly, after some time, Momo and Yuki planned for Riku to hold his performance here at the cafe every evening. Riku could work on singing and dancing to different kinds of songs and learning about emotions through them.

The rest was for Riku to figure out for himself.

_Where will I end up after this?_

_Will I ever return to an entertainment business?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When one problem is resolved, there's another. Geez...why won't it stop? teehee~  
> So this series is nearing its end now that we've said goodbye to Takamasa and the cold manager. I don't know how many more chapters, perhaps 2, but I'm not sure yet. :P THANK YOU for reading this far. Please stick around until the end lovely people~ Ehehe~  
> And lol Iori is Riku your pet or what? :P  
> If you wanna contact me or anything @kenarkrsun is my twitter ^^


	23. The Nanase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitsuki is worried about his little brother's relationship. Oh, and Tenn wants to take Riku somewhere.

“Iori, you’re going to that theme cafe right?”

Mitsuki approached his little brother after I6's dance practice in the afternoon. Iori had gotten much better so I6 now had a mini concert scheduled for next month.

“Yes, Nii-san. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Kujou-san. I’d like to check on him”

Iori had a small smile on his face. It was a smile that Mitsuki absolutely adored as Iori would always try to hide it. However, Mitsuki was not so taken by it this time.

“Riku has been hurting you, hasn’t he?”

Iori who was crouching and packing things up froze on the spot. What Mitsuki said was sadly true, Riku had been a little more mentally unstable since Kujou Takamasa was arrested. His doctor said it was from extra trauma since Friend’s day. Not to mention that Riku had lost his career as an idol. It was not like Iori was not used to seeing Riku being so lifeless, then all of a sudden losing control of his emotions before they started officially dating. Their relationship had always been unpredictable. It was just that Riku had been having trouble with it a lot lately and that simply tired Iori out.

Mitsuki noticed that Iori had been acting strange. The younger boy would normally be talking about Riku excitedly without realising it himself. Sure, he was still happy, but there was a noticeable difference. There was tiredness and a hint of pain in Iori’s eyes at least his dear brother could see.

“Iori” Mitsuki touched his little brother’s shoulder when he found the boy looking at him without replying. “I will tolerate anything but violence.”

Iori gave Mitsuki a reassuring smile when his brother made it clear he was worried about Riku abusing him physically. “Don’t worry, Nii-san, Riku doesn’t hit me.”

Mitsuki shouted this time. “Don’t lie to me! Nanase said you two fought that day” Mitsuki’s body trembled as he was trying to hold back his frustration.

Iori stood up and took his Nii-san’s hand. He looked right into Mitsuki’s eyes. “It’s very rare for Riku to be in that state. I can say he is an idiot who doesn’t know how to deal with a lot of things, but he is innocent and kind at heart. Plus, he has been getting professional help.” Iori spoke with his analytical tone, showing Mitsuki that he was not blinded by love.

Still, Mitsuki was not very convinced.

Iori let go of Mitsuki’s hand. “Why don’t you come with me, Nii-san? That way, you can see for yourself.”

The younger boy appreciated how much his brother cared about him. The same went for Iori who truly cared about Mitsuki. Even though it sounded childish, Iori wanted Mitsuki to be on good terms with Riku. He wanted to be able to boast to his big brother about how charming his boyfriend was.

~~

The theme cafe was full of customers this evening. In fact, it had gain a lot more popularity since Riku started working here. Somehow, Erin’s doll-like expression pleased a lot of young women. Erin made them feel like they were in an Anime world and were really his master. Unfortunately, Iori booked a private service from Erin, so he was not serving anyone else tonight.

Mitsuki’s mouth dropped as he looked around. Although, he was wearing a face mask so people could not see. “This place looks crazy expensive!” Mitsuki felt like a king just by standing there.

“Right?” Iori pulled his face mask down and smiled at his brother. “I was very surprised when Riku took me here too”

Mitsuki smirked and lightly elbowed Iori “Heeeeh? Now I know why you fell head over heels for the guy”

The younger boy’s face went tomato red. “N-Nii-san. I d-don’t! I jus-“

“Welcome back, Izumi-sama”

Iori got interrupted by the elegance presented before him. Erin stood before the brothers and bowed deeply, letting his waist-long ponytail hung and shone under the light from the pretty chandeliers. When he stood up, his gentle smile went so well with his blank yellow eyes that even Mitsuki was taken by such beauty.  _Damn, your boyfriend looks amazing._

“Ah, I did not realise we have two Izumi-sama today.” Riku bowed lightly again when he noticed Mitsuki. “May I address you as Iori-sama and Mitsuki-sama instead?” As soon as the brothers nodded, Riku led them to the luxury private tea room. “This way please”

The plan was as usual, Riku would serve them starters, main course and desserts as Erin. Once the brothers were happy and full, he would join them to chat as Riku for the rest of the night.

Mitsuki stuffed himself with tasty food, not leaving a single grain of rice behind on his plate. He even ate Iori’s remaining portions. “The food here is amazing!” He felt very lucky that Iori invited him. “Did Riku cook these?”

Iori laughed. “Of course not” Momo and Yuki would never let him near the cooking stations.

Once all the plates were cleared away and tables were wiped, Riku entered the room, closed the door behind him and took off his yellow contact lenses.

Mitsuki did not waste a moment to speak his mind. “Hey Riku, mind if we talk for a bit?” Iori sighed. He should have known his brother had been waiting for too long for this. As soon as Riku nodded, Iori got up, about to step out of the room when Mitsuki pulled his arm.

“Iori, stay” The older brother ordered, so Iori sat back down.

“Is this about Iori?” For once Riku took a clue.

“Yes. To be more accurate, it’s about you two” Mitsuki spoke with a stern look on his face. Riku took a seat on a large armchair at the end of the table and waited for Mitsuki to start.

“Do you love Iori?”

Riku just sat there, showing no reactions whatsoever. He did not even flinch. The only one with wide eyes was Iori. The boy was not sure whether to look at Riku or his own brother.

“I can’t answer that”

Mitsuki’s mouth dropped in response. He did not want to believe what he was hearing. It should have been the easiest question to answer, yet the boy could not answer it? It was wrong. Everything felt so wrong.

Iori was not hurt. He was crushed. Strength was rapidly leaving his body. He kept his head down. Tears started forming around his eyes. The boy wanted to scream, to tell himself he was only dreaming.

Oh, Mitsuki was boiling alright. “You-!” He clenched his fist tightly. “Don’t toy with my little brother’s feelings!”

“Toy? Hardly” Riku shook his head. “I don’t want to lie. Especially to the people who have helped me. Saying I love Iori would make him happy, but it would mean nothing when I am actually numb on the inside.”

“That being said...I have my memory” Riku smiled a little despite recalling the painful moments. “I remember wanting to cry out loudly when father said Iori was gone.” His voice started to shake. “I remember the strong sensation of guilt when I knew Iori was injured because I let him in my life. I said I would never hurt Iori again and yet...”

The high school student bit his bottom lip. He had to cover his mouth to not weep so loudly. Riku had told him what happened, but never like this. Ever since they reunited, Riku had always kept his feelings shut even though he was free. It gave Iori a conflicted feeling as he knew Riku was much more natural during the time after BLACK or WHITE event.

“It hurt” Riku’s tears started to run. “It still hurts. I remember wishing to be by Iori’s side. The amount of times I fought with father and the guards because I begged them to let me see Iori.“ Riku talked between sobs. He tried to wipe tears with his clothed arm.

“I’m scared * _sob*_ ” The red haired boy started to hyperventilate. “I’m scared..* _ha* *ha*_  someone...Iori...* _ha*_  will be in trouble...* _pant*_  because of my...emotions”

Iori could not take it anymore. He shot from his seat towards Riku and threw his arms over the older boy’s shaky body. “It’s- * _sob*_  it's okay, Riku. It’s okay now”

Riku looked up at Iori’s face. “I made you cry again...”

“...how can I not when you are like thi-wah!” Without warning, Riku pulled Iori’s shirt so Iori fell onto his lap. The redhead then rested his forehead on Iori’s thin shoulder and embraced the boy tightly. “Baka” Iori rubbed Riku’s back. He whispered gently. “No one is going to hurt you anymore, Riku”

Mitsuki could not help getting emotional by the scene in front of him. Riku’s answer would have to suffice for the time being.

~~

“I don’t get why you have to follow me around whenever I want to see my sweet little brother”

Tenn turned to give Gaku a sharp cat-like glare. Gaku answered with his classic straight face. “Shouldn’t it be obvious? Who knows what your crazy brother can do to you?”

“Rude” Before Riku could do anything to Tenn, Gaku had better watch out what Tenn could do to Gaku. “If you love me, you have to love Riku too”

Gaku was driving Tenn to pick Riku up from the boy’s apartment. There was a certain place Tenn wanted to take Riku to. Today was perfect since TRIGGER had a day off. Ryuu wanted to hang out with Sougo and Tamaki so he did not come along. As for Gaku, it was obvious he just wanted to be with Tenn.

When Riku came down from his apartment, Tenn moved from the front seat to the back seat instead to sit (and cuddle with) his baby brother. Tenn patted Riku’s head gently with care. “It’s going to be around an hour drive, have you got everything?”

“Yes, Tenn-nii.” Riku gave a mini smile before turning forward to face Gaku. “Hello, Yaotome-san” Gaku simply replied with a cool “Hey, Kujou”

It got a tad too quiet on their way to the destination. Gaku had just the perfect idea to kill this awkward silence. “Tenn, take a CD in the back and put it in the player”

Tenn narrowed his eyes. “Why should I do that?”

“Just do it geez”

Tenn sighed and leaned forward to pop the mysterious CD in the player as instructed. “If this is some weird shit like Galactic Mermaid, know that I will destroy you”  _Especially when it is played in front of my innocent little Riku._

“Nah” Gaku smiled with confidence. “We are doing a karaoke” The pumping melody of I6’s latest song ‘Viva! Fantastic Life!!!’ started playing. Of course Riku and Tenn recognised those cheerful beats right away. “Pick 2 members to sing as” Gaku ordered. “And quickly!”

“I’ll take Iori” Riku spoke with no hesitation behind his voice, earning a signature smirk from Gaku. “And Mitsuki”

“Yotsuba Tamaki and Osaka Sougo” Tenn quickly answered next. “Hope you die rapping” Tenn had a victorious smile on his face.

“Curse you!” Gaku shouted. It was already time to sing so he could not argue anymore.

Riku had to sing a lot since he took the young centre’s part. While Gaku and Tenn were great singers, Riku’s voice blended in with I6’s song the most. Too bad the youngest showed no expression whatsoever. Gaku messed up the rap bit while Riku sang his perfectly. Tenn laughed. He was suddenly so happy he put in that CD.

Gaku gritted his teeth. Leopard Eyes intro started to play next. “I’m definitely not messing this one up. I’m taking my own part!”

“Does that even count as a challenge?” Riku spoke. Those words came out sounding like a taunt when actually he was just asking a genuine question.

If Gaku was not driving, he would have slammed something hard. “Damn this kid! Fine! I’m singing Tenn’s!”

“I’m not singing Gaku’s. Riku, I trust you can make his part 10 times better.” Tenn winked.

“If Tenn-Nii says so-ah! Taste you, taste you~” Riku almost missed the beginning.

The three enjoyed singing to a hot track. Of course, Tenn sang perfectly except for the times he forgot and sang his own actual part along with Gaku.

“Kujou and I passed, Tenn failed” Gaku took the opportunity to declare his superior ability. It worked. Tenn hated the word ‘failure’ more than anything. What stopped Tenn’s frustration was the start of the next song.

_Whoa oh oh wo..._

Riku would recognise that song from anywhere. It was Kujou Riku’s BLACK or WHITE song, “Take the TOP”. His eyes widened as he felt like his heart was being squeezed. The fact that he could not sing on stage for his screaming fans anymore burned him.

Tenn saw that Riku was clearly bothered by it. “Hey stop that!” The older twin immediately lunged forward and pushed the pause button. “Riku, are you okay?” He touched Riku’s shoulder.

Riku took in a few deep breaths to calm himself before shaking his head. “I’m fine, Tenn-nii. Let’s do it”

“There’s no need to force yourself” Tenn squeezed Riku’s arm.

“Nothing is wrong with the song” Riku gave a sad smile. “I want to sing it”

“But how are we gonna split it?” Gaku asked as if nothing had happened. Riku appreciated that.

“Why don’t we all sing together?”

~~

The three had finally arrived at their destination: an isolated, peaceful and well-kept graveyard. They stayed quiet as they walked along the path in between cut grass to find a specific spot.

The Nanase family grave.

“Is this...” Riku started to speak while inspecting the names on the gravestones.

“Yes” Tenn kept his answer short and to the point. “Our parents rest here, Riku”

The red haired boy gasped lightly before taking time kneeling in front of the grave. Tenn also knelt right next to him. The twins closed their eyes. They both talked to their parents in their own way, in their minds. Soon, Riku started to cry “Mom...dad...* _sob*_ ”. Tenn gave Riku a reassuring hug and rubbed the boy’s back with care. Gaku who watched from afar felt sympathetic for the life of the separated twins.

Once they exited the graveyard area, “Riku” Tenn called out his little brother’s name and came to a stop.

“Yes, Tenn-nii?”

“Your name. Change it back to Nanase.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter had enough fluff to fight with the angst XD I swear once I write something angsty, I don't know when to stop.   
> Comments and votes from you lovely people are always appreciated teehee~ so douzo~!  
> If you wanna contact me or anything, my twitter is 'kenarkrsun' ^^


	24. To the Void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to remind you this is not the ending. You'll probably understand why im reminding you after reading *smirks*

“Your name. Change it back to Nanase”

Standing in front of the graveyard, Riku gave Tenn a blank look. Changing his name now would mean nothing. It had been too long since he became Kujou. Reverting his surname back to Nanase would mean nothing but trouble for Tenn if Riku ever ended up in an entertainment business again, which was not out of the possibilities.

“I have discussed this with Gaku and Ryuu. Our president too.” Tenn spoke calmly. He came prepared, as expected from a perfectionist. Gaku nodded along to confirm it was true.

“My old man only thinks about money.” Gaku shrugged his shoulders. “Saying after the craze of your disappearance dies down, if you were to reappear as an idol then a collaboration would benefit TRIGGER” He rolled his eyes. Gaku knew his father had been keeping an eye on Kujou Riku as if he was waiting for a 'golden chance'.

“Of course if that were to happen we would have to talk about our blood relation at some point.” Tenn smiled a little thinking about how he would no longer have to be so distant to Riku on stage.

Riku bit his lip. Suddenly, he felt anger surged throughout his body. “Don’t talk like it is a so easy!!” He shouted at the two TRIGGER members. “Did you think I want my name to completely disappear from the world along with my songs?!?”

What Riku said wasn’t too over dramatic. Public places such as restaurants and temporary event venues usually avoided playing Kujou Riku’s songs in other to protect themselves from every little possible talks and problems which were prone to come with them. It hit Riku hard because those songs were a big part of him that made him feel alive.

Tenn was afraid that Riku had misunderstood his intention. “Riku that’s not-“

Riku lunged at his twin brother and grabbed him by the shirt collar. “Father might have been very cruel to me, but still he was a part of my life. You weren’t, Tenn-nii! Stop trying to take my life away!”

“Oi!” Gaku used his palm to push the redhead away then pressed the boy’s shoulders before Riku could do anything to Tenn. “You are the one who is pushing him away, spoiled brat!” The oldest glared at Riku like a hawk hunting its prey. “You have no fucking idea how much Tenn cares about you! Seeing you being ungrateful pisses me off, Kujou”

“Gaku, stop! Please!” Tenn pleaded while hugging Gaku from the back. “Don’t work Riku up anymore! He is hurting!”

“See?” TRIGGER leader continued to talk sense to Riku. “Even now Tenn thinks about you! And you? You only think about yourself!”

Riku was taking in deep breaths in an attempt to not lose himself to the demon of fury. Even Gaku could see that the boy had trouble keeping his intense emotion in control. “Tenn, let me go, I’m not going to hurt him.” Gaku spoke to Tenn softly so Tenn slowly loosened his grip.

“We will talk again when you’ve calmed down, Kujou.” Gaku took out his car key and signalled for the twins to follow. “Go sit inside the car first”

Gaku and Tenn sat quietly in a stationary car to give Riku time to deal with himself. Tenn occasionally rubbed Riku’s shoulder or thigh gently. “You’ll be okay, Riku. You’ll be okay.” He whispered.

“I’m sorry, Tenn-nii” After a few minutes, Riku gave his twin brother a loose hug. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Tenn ruffled Riku’s hair. “Don’t worry. I know you’re going through a tough time. Still, aren’t you a silly boy? Whatever was a part of your life will always remain a part of it. It won’t disappear just by changing your name.”

“But I’ve changed, haven’t I? Since I became Kujou Riku”

“Yes” Tenn smiled lightly. “But Riku is and will always be my Riku”

“...” Riku thought hard. He was not sure about what to do. He wished the whole thing was a simple yes or no question.

Gaku sighed. “Kujou, there’s no rush or anything. You look like you are going to explode.”

For once Tenn agreed with Gaku. “Just think about it when you are ready Riku, and know that I’m fine with whatever answer you will give”

Letting out a long breath he did not know he was holding, Riku spoke. “Thank you, Tenn-nii and Yaotome-san”

~~

“OH MY GOD OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH YUKI WE ARE HERE!!! WE ARE SEEING I6 LIVE!!!!”

Momo who was the biggest fanboy of I6 could not help jumping up and down excitedly while waiting in the merchandise queue. Yuki was getting dizzy from being occasionally shaken by Momo. Kujou Riku had reserved special VIP tickets for the two of them. It was one of Riku’s ways of saying thanks to his old friends for always helping and supporting him despite his terrible personality. As for himself, Iori gave him a ticket two days before the show. He was standing right beside Yuki and Momo (with an appearance as Erin).

_*-*_ -*

- **Two days ago** -

“I don’t want to go, Iori”

At the Zero Arena, Iori handed Riku a ticket just to see the older boy shaking his head in rejection.

“Take it, Kujou-san” Iori grabbed Riku’s hand and pushed the ticket in it. He then cupped Riku’s face gently. “You deserve to enjoy yourself. Let us entertain you. During the 2 hour live concert, you will feel nothing but joy and excitement watching our ultimate performance”

“...I can’t, Iori” Riku looked as if he was about to cry. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t accept myself for not being able to take the stage.” Riku put one of his hands on his chest. “I don’t want to be like this...to be feeling conflicted and envious when you and I6 stand up there. I want to be fully happy with you.”

“Riku” Iori looked at the redhead with pure determination. “Trust us. Trust me. We will take your pain away. And if you are to be hurting afterwards, I’ll be with you.”

Riku sighed and put his ticket in his shoulder bag pocket. “I understand.”

_*-*_ -*

- **Back to the present** -

Momo certainly was ecstatic. Especially when the special VIP ticket included a backstage meeting with all I6 members.

Riku was getting nostalgic. I6 was holding their concert at this large dome which was where Riku had performed a few times before. It was an indoor venue but near the dome top, large spaces let the air flow in. The venue fit around 2000 people and the tickets were completely sold out.

As the boy feared, Riku could not help feeling rather conflicted that he was here as part of the audience and not as an idol doing a collab with I6.

“Riku-kun” Yuki tapped Riku’s shoulder to wake the boy up from his dark thoughts. “Let’s just enjoy ourselves today”

“Right” Riku nodded. His expression changed from sad to blank. “Thank you, Yuki-San”

There was still around an hour before the show starts. There were t-shirts, towels, key chains etc being sold by Takanashi Productions staffs.

When it was the three’s turn, Riku was the first to order. He had had his eyes on what he wanted for quite a while now. “Can I have Iori mini plush and an I6 poster please?” Riku did not care much about the group poster actually. He was buying it as a collection. As for the mini plush, he had been wanting it because it was designed so that people could take off and change its clothes. Of course, Riku bought some mini outfits to go with mini Iori as well.

Then along came Momo. “UWAAH can I have one of each please!!!” His eyes were like twinkling stars seeing all the merch in front of him. Yuki then walked up to him and tugged the boy’s arm. “Momo, you can’t seriously be buying that many” Yuki said to his boyfriend who had been making him jealous from not getting enough attention. Momo bought them anyway before going back to cuddle Yuki’s face with his own. “We don’t know if we will get opportunity like this again anytime soon” Momo reached his hand into a bag of goodies to grab one of the group towels. “Here, this is yours darling~!” He energetically handed it to Yuki, knowing the man wanted one. “My, my, thank you, Momo” Yuki’s pale face flushed a little pink as he happily accepted the gift. Honestly, Momo was probably more excited than anyone else in the venue. Yuki would be as excited if this was Kujou Riku’s concert. Unfortunately, the man had never been to one and may never get to see one.

And finally it was time for I6 to make their appearance. As soon as the six of them appeared jumping from below the stage with “Viva! Fantastic life!!!”, the whole dome was filled with screams from the fans.

Riku’s mouth hanged open. It felt so different being in the audience. The idols on stage really looked like they were shining. Did he shine like that too when he was on stage?

Starting with ‘Viva! Fantastic life!!!’ was an impressive strategy. The audience right away were hyped by the energy coming from dance moves the six of them were pulling off.

Riku had always thought that Iori was just Iori no matter what the boy did. However, today, his Iori appeared totally different. The younger boy was giving off a cool yet persuasive aura. His outfit also looked stunning. Without realising it, Kujou’s hands which were holding two dark blue light sticks start moving to the rhythm on their own.

_Iori was right. Right now, my heart feels like it might burst from excitement. There is no room for any other feelings._

_Except that you are so charming, Iori._

Yuki’s eyes were glued to the stage, even more so than Momo’s. Momo laughed when Yuki did not respond to him squealing about I6’s attractiveness during ‘Natsu Shiyoze!’. Riku joined Momo in squealing when I6 either took their shirts off or unbuttoned theirs.

The live went well without any problems. I6 performed 2 more songs as an encore before saying goodbye and bowing stylishly to the fans.

~~

Riku went back home on his own right after the concert ended since Momo and Yuki were going to meet I6. The hype was still there but dark thoughts were starting to kick in the instant he exited the venue full of loud noises. At his apartment, he was gathering documents for name-changing procedure to distract himself from those thoughts. At some point, he stopped, consumed by his own mind.

_Tenn-nii said Kujou Riku would always be a part of me yet I feel like once I’ve become Nanase Riku, he would disappear._

_Why am I hesitating?_

_Father might have led me to the life of an idol, but after all the cruel things he has done, I should feel like I owe him nothing._

_So why am I so afraid?_

_Why does the thought of losing my unreal persona terrify me this much?_

_Is he truly ‘unreal’?_

_I can’t. I can’t let go. I am Kujou Riku. One of Japan’s top idols._

_I..._

Tears started to fall. Soon, the sobbing sounds became horrible screams. The cry of the suffering was accompanied by the sounds of objects breaking, Riku’s coughing and rough breathing. Riku frantically searched for his inhaler. He held it tightly as if he was holding onto his lifeline, took it up for his mouth and pressed it. He then threw it away in disgust. 

“Pathetic. I’m no longer an idol.”

_Without Kujou Riku, I’m nothing but a dead weight._

Riku’s phone went off. With him being in that state, he picked it up without paying much attention to who was calling. “What?”

There was a small pause before the caller on the other end spoke. “Riku, I’m coming over”

The redhead spoke with his hoarse voice “Iori...”

~~

When Iori arrived, Riku remained seated on the same spot: on the floor, surrounded by broken objects. The older boy had given Iori a spare key to his place a few weeks ago as requested by the high school student.

Iori slowly approached Riku. He did expect Riku to lose control slightly which was why he was able to get here relatively quickly. “Hey, Riku”

Something felt off though.

“How many times have you seen me like this, Iori?” Riku asked without batting an eye at his boyfriend who sat down right next to him.

“A few times. Nothing I can’t handle.” Iori said with a neutral tone. He waited for Riku to shift closer, pull his shirt and cry or scream in his arms like usual.

Riku remained motionless. There, he sat like an unwanted doll on display. His eyes were dead...

“I think we should break up”

And cold.

The world around Iori instantly was consumed by darkness. It was as if time had stopped. He could feel his soul being sucked in by a whirlpool so strong it could drown the universe. Even among the chaos, there was a sound which could be heard clearly.

Something cracked.

The crack was getting larger and deeper.

“Is that what you want, Kujou-San?” Iori spoke. His voice was barely audible.

If nothing was done, it could never be fixed.

_It isn’t healthy..._  Riku refused to look at Iori. He remained silent, hoping for the cold treatment to work. The wall on his back was his only support.  _...for someone with a bright future like you._

“...Yes”

It broke, like a fragile glass.

Iori’s face felt hot.

Damp.

Wet.

It was the first time for Iori to experience the pain of not being able to breathe. His first heartbreak came way too fast, too sudden.

Too unexpected he could almost smell betrayal.

Iori placed Riku’s apartment keys gently on the floor. He placed them down in such a way because he could not feel any strength in his hands, arms or legs.

Too shocked to stand straight, he dragged his legs and willed his body to the front door.

The door he would never pass through again.

As the door shut, the younger boy flopped to the floor with his hand still touching the doorknob.

There, he cried hard.

He screamed in total agony.

And he certainly was not the only one. On the other side, someone also cried.

Someone also screamed.

He threw himself to the floor, lying on his side with the sharp broken objects. With his tense hands over his eyes, he tried to endure the excruciating pain. He croaked...

“I love you, Iori...”

 

\--------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna say anything cuz im guilty af for writing this. Let me escape through the backdoor please thank you.  
> If you wanna contact me or anything @kenarkrsun is my twitter ^^


	25. The Swirling Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied sexual content for GakuTenn if you don't like it just skip that. It's pretty small though.  
> Enjoy! ^^

It rained heavily.

It was a quiet, lonely and painful evening. As if the clouds could sense the conflict between once a complicated but lovely couple.

_Splash._

A young idol was walking through the heavy rain in his white outfit. Hardly anyone could see him. Not that any sane person would be out there, even with an umbrella.

It was not just any normal rain.

It was a storm.

His seemingly lifeless body was walking, one slow step at a time, into the park closest to a certain someone’s apartment.

“...”

Iori had always been a logical person. However, it did not mean he did not have feelings. What just happened was simply too painful for him to take in at that moment.

He did not want to think about anything. So he kept walking, hoping the hard-hitting rain would wash any sadness away.

As if it was that easy.

~~

A former solo idol breathed heavily with his mouth opened. He was way too tired, not too bad physically. He could cope. Mentally, he was exhausted.

He thought he would be crying more when a certain someone left. He was disappointed when, in mere minutes, his tears stopped flowing, leaving him lying on the floor with a dark void in his heart.

It was as if the said heart was no longer there when the boy walked away.

His chest was starting to give him a tight, uncomfortable sensation. It was caused by the storm, obviously. That was what Riku was trying to tell himself.

In reality, the pain from his physical condition was making him think about Iori and not in a selfish way.

_Is Iori outside?_

_Can he get home in this storm?_

_Will he get sick out there?_

Riku slowly pushed himself up. His blank eyes were met with an unfamiliar scenery through the window. Everything was white. The boy could not see anything, not even the buildings.

At that moment, lightning struck. It was loud. It looked scary.

And it seemed to have struck something inside the redhead as well.

Riku’s eyes widened. Even when he was having a hard time catching his breath, he sprang himself up and went to search for his shoulder bag. He threw his inhaler, medicines and a portable oxygen bottle in before throwing a bag on himself, grabbed the keys and bolted outside.

_Iori...!_

~~

Iori came to a stop in front of a fountain which was bizarrely working under this weather condition. He stopped crying a while ago. His heart was only thinking about Riku. He could not face them: the bitter loneliness that was to come. How was he going to return to I6 dorm? How was he going to be fine at work tomorrow?

How would he go about getting over Riku?

A part of Iori was still believing in Riku, which ended up hurting him more. He wanted to think that Riku had always been mentally unstable. He had probably said the line without meaning to. Nevertheless, Iori did not want to keep lying to himself. He had to face the truth like he had always done with every single tough moment in his life.

It was just too much.

Iori broke into tears again. He had to find a way to let his feelings out, or his heart would burst into fire.

Iori took a breath, and with his shaky voice, he sang a song which fit too well with his situation.

‘Miss you...’ by Osaka Sougo and Yotsuba Tamaki.

He sang as loud as he could, not caring about hitting the right notes or keeping the right tempo. He was starting a war with the roaring thunder — a war with his feelings.

~~

“* _cough cough!*_  Ha...Ha...”

Riku could not care less about being in the rain, not right now when his mind was occupied with the possibilities of Iori being in danger. The boy ran around the area. He did not think Iori would have gotten far in this horrible stormy weather. There were hardly any cars or taxis since it was just too dangerous to drive. The rain made everything white, and the sky was the exact opposite of it.

“Ioriiiiii!!!! * _cough_  *Ioriiiiii!!!!”

Riku shouted as loud as he could. He frequently choked. His inhaler barely stopped his attack for a few minutes before getting another. Still, he kept running.

He would do anything to keep Iori safe even if it meant he had to face his own death.

The rain poured so hard it was difficult to hear anything else. Perhaps it was the work of fate that Riku could hear some sort of strange noise in it. Without other clues to go on, Riku closed his eyes to determine which direction he should go to.

He was not mistaken. The voice led him to the park, and it became a little louder. He was coughing, he was wheezing, but he remained focused on the voice. Soon, it became clear that it was the sound of a person singing.

The lyrics of the particular verse of ‘Miss You...’ went straight to his heart. It was like a bell ringing. Riku could make out a human figure under the white rain in front of the large fountain. With that voice, he would recognise it from anywhere.

“Love, Tsutaete shimaitai 

  Love, Kimochi no uragawade 

  Love, komarasete shimau no ka 

  Wakaru Kara toji kometeta...”

Riku stood there with his breath laboured. Instead of calling the boy’s name, he just smiled. Tears started coming out from his eyes because he was so relieved that Iori was safe. Despite his condition, Riku channelled the power within him and joined Iori in singing what was supposed to be a duo song.

“Ienai omoi no sono saki de 

  Boku ni wa misenai kimi no egao 

  Shoushiki zutto kurushikunaru

  Gomenne suki nan da...”

Iori had come to a sudden stop when he heard a voice joining him.  _It couldn’t be..._  He thought. But when the familiar redhead walked in a wobbly way towards him, he had to cover his mouth in shock.

Riku did not stop singing until he managed to embrace Iori’s body, just before he felt the strength leaving his body and everything around him faded into darkness.

“Riku! Riku! RIKU!!!”

~~

Not wanting to call the rest of I6 who were most likely enjoying their off time and celebrating their live concert success, Iori sat down and tried to contact a certain individual while he was at the hospital. The nurses had given the boy some hospital clothes to change into since he was soaking wet and would likely catch a cold if he kept wearing them.

The phone number Iori was calling seemed to be unreachable.  _He is probably working._

Putting his phone away after trying twice and dropping some texts, Iori eyed the redhead who was lying unconsciously on the clean bed. He was being given some oxygen through the nasal cannula. Just a few minutes before, everything was hectic. Several medical staffs were tending to Riku’s severe attack. Luckily, they were able to save him without leaving Riku any complications.

Iori hesitated for a second before taking hold of the former solo idol’s pale hand. He rubbed his thumb on it gently. The deep blue eyes were welling up with tears for the hundredth time. “Why did you chase after me...in the storm, with that condition of yours?”

“Especially after breaking up with me” Iori rested his head on Riku’s bedside. “I don’t know how I should be feeling anymore, Kujou-san.”

“I can’t get over you. When you collapsed and became unresponsive, I thought I'd lost you for real. I would-* _sniffle*_  * _sob*_  I-I...”

There was a knock on the door. Without waiting for an approval to enter, the person just slid it open and rushed in. “How’s Riku!?!”

Iori sat up straight and wiped his tears with his arms. He did not want anyone to see him in this state. Well, it was too late. “He’s stable, Nanase-san, but he hasn’t woken up.”

Tenn came as soon as he finished with filming an advertisement and saw the messages. “Oh Riku...” He went to the other side of the bed and gently touched Riku’s head. Deciding not to interrupt his sleep, Tenn pulled a chair and sat near I6 centre.

Tenn stared at Iori’s weakened state analytically. “Why are you in hospital clothes too? I thought I6 had a concert today. What happened?”

Iori looked away. He was about to cry again. Oh how much he hated himself for not having control over his own overwhelming emotions. Was that how Riku felt all the time?

“Izumi” When Iori did not answer in a calm manner like usual, Tenn knew there was a major problem. “Tell me the truth.”

It was that moment when Iori burst out crying. Tenn’s eyes widened in surprise. He decided to put an arm on Iori’s back and rubbed it in circles. Tenn thought Iori must have done something for Riku to end up having an attack. Just when he was about to say another word, Iori blurted out.

“We broke up.”

“...what?”

“I said we broke up! * _sobs*_ ” Iori continued to cry uncontrollably.

Tenn readjusted himself to sit properly. He paused for a few seconds before speaking. “Riku asked you to break up with him, didn’t he?” When Iori nodded twice, Tenn clicked his tongue then muttered under his breath. “That child.”

“Let me tell you something, Izumi” Tenn would be lying if he said he never expected this to happen. “Around a week ago, Riku came to see me.”

Iori looked up at Tenn to show he was paying attention.

“He was very anxious” Tenn’s face went grim recalling the image of trembling Riku on his sofa. “He said he felt out of control all the time.”

Well, that was news to Iori.

“When I asked why it turned out it was about you, Izumi.”

Iori thought it was the end when Tenn said that.

Tenn sighed. “He was worried he wasn’t good enough for you.”

Iori rested his head in his palm. “I wish he would trust me more.” He explained. “He is not using me. I’ve been telling him time and time again that if he had problems, we would solve them together.”

Iori took a full deep breath before letting it out. “Yet he is still trying to solve them on his own. He needs to stop thinking so lowly of himself.”

“I...want Iori...to be happy.”

The hoarse voice suddenly turned two heads to the patient on the bed. “Riku!” Iori acted on instinct and jumped on his feet to stand by Riku’s bedside. The redhead seemed very tired. He blinked slowly while looking at Iori, who was clasping Riku’s hand in his. Tenn stood up but kept his distance.

Iori sighed. “Why can’t you understand that I just want to be with you?”

“I don’t feel like I can get better...” Riku responded.

“You can” Iori squeezed Riku’s hand. “But first you need to learn to love yourself, to confide in people who are trying to help and to ask about how they are feeling.”

“Then” Riku slowly sat up. “What can I do for Iori? All I do is cause you trouble.”

“Like I said...” Iori’s attempt not to let his tears drop failed. “I just want you to love me” The boy looked away.

Riku stared at lightly sobbing Iori for a few seconds before shifting himself closer to the boy and hugged him tightly. Riku rested the side of his head on Iori’s chest. “I’m so sorry” The redhead whispered.

“You are cruel, Kujou-san” Iori wiped his tears with his arm. “You’re a terrible and unpredictable emotional ride.”

“I love Iori” Riku spoke and started to cry too. “Don’t leave me...”

Iori patted Riku’s head with care. “My heart isn’t frozen solid like yours. Please be more considerate next time. I have to say this pain would probably last forever.” Finally, he returned Riku’s hug with his own warm embrace.

“What does this mean?” Riku asked for clarification.

“You hopeless-  _sigh_...It means we are all good for the time being, Riku” Iori lowered himself down and planted a quick kiss on Riku’s forehead.

Tenn put his hands on his waist and glared at the two. He huffed. “I’ll pretend I did not hear how you talked to my kawaii little brother just this once, Izumi. Now, sit in seiza.”

“..?” Both Iori and Riku stopped their romantic eye contact and looked at Tenn. “I thought you said you are letting Iori off, Tenn-nii???”

“This is for both of you. You sit up straight in bed, Riku” Tenn ordered. His dark aura expanded. “You two need to learn about how a healthy and loving relationship works.”

“Oh, and don’t you worry” Tenn smiled creepily. “I will pay for you two to have a fancy dinner date.” His smile dropped again. “But first, direct your full attention to me.”

With that, the couple was enrolled in Tenn’s standard two-hour lecture course. It was five minutes short thanks to Gaku and Ryuu who came to the rescue way too late.

~~

Riku was allowed to leave late that night. The boy did not want to stay in the hospital. The doctor warned him to be very careful with watching for signs of an attack. TRIGGER left after Gaku and Ryuu came to see how Riku was doing and picked Tenn up.

After dropping Ryuu’s off, Gaku spoke to Tenn. “I can’t believe you were giving your sick brother a lecture right after his attack.”

“Hmph” Tenn ignored Gaku’s comment, but then he had an idea. He narrowed his eyes then smirked. “Are you going to lecture me too?”

“Pfft” Gaku snorted. “Aren’t you being pretty cheeky?”

Gaku stopped the car at his place, took off his seatbelt and leaned towards Tenn in his passenger seat. “Where’s my kiss, brat?”

“Why the hell should I kiss you?” Tenn might have been saying that, but his body was already moving towards Gaku’s. Feeling impatient, Gaku grabbed hold of Tenn’s small frame and pulled the boy, so the sweet baby pink lips met his. Before letting go, Gaku whispered in Tenn’s ear. “

“You’re getting punished tonight.”

~~

“W-we can’t hold hands in public, Kujou-san! Someone might see us.”

Totally flustered Iori shouted when Riku suddenly grabbed his hand firmly. On the contrary, he did not try to wiggle his hand out of it.

Riku tilted his head in confusion. “I don’t understand. Couples do it all the time. What do they get from it?”

Iori let out a big sigh. This guy was not listening to him. He just wanted to experiment on Iori. He was also a hopeless idiot. “It’s called ‘showing affection’, Kujou-san” When Riku gave him a blank look, Iori knew he had to explain further. “It’s like a hug. A small version of it.”

Riku shook his head.

“How can you not understand?!? You’ve hugged me many times before!” Iori shouted with a red face.

“Iori seems to like it, so I do it” That made the high school student facepalm so hard. He decided to change the subject. “Why are we at this park again? You of all people should not be here exposed to the cold air at 11 PM.”

Yes, they were back at the front of the fountain where Riku found Iori. Riku insisted he wanted to come here.

“I’ll be fine. It’s only for a short while, Iori.” Riku let go of Iori’s hand and stood in front of the boy instead. “Let’s sing.”

“...hah?”

“We didn’t finish the song today” Iori was expecting to see a pout or something from Riku when he was just emotionless like usual. Still...

_Why is Riku so attached to that song? Is it because I was singing it? What is he trying to do?_

“Sing with me, Iori” Riku begged. “Please”

“Alright...I suppose one song could not hurt.”

With that, they began singing for their only audience, the moon.

\-----------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hewlo lovely people im back! I hope you like this chapter!! I like it >< // slapped   
> Geez Tenn, can't you go a little easy on those two?  
> And Riku seriously?? what are you doing??  
> Shoutout to amoodyone, I decided to make them sing "Miss you" because you mentioned how it suited their relationship too well when Riku was confined by Takamasa XD  
> And I did not say MEZZO because MEZZO did not happen in this story fufufufu ^^  
> Note: miss you lyrics written from memory so it might not be accurate  
> Again if you want to contact me or anything @kenarkrsun is my twitter :D


	26. New Journey

- **I6 Dorm** -

“Iori sure is late”

Mitsuki sat at the dining table in the common area, feeling concerned and restless about why Iori had not been texting and updating him. The boy would always let him know if he was going to be late home.

The frown on his face was clear. He was so caught up in his thought he did not know Yamato took a seat at the end of the table next to him with two cans of beer. “I’m sure Ichi is out there having some fun with his boyfriend.”

Mitsuki jumped a little. “When did you-?!  _sigh_  Never mind. I don’t know about that, Yamato-San. Their relationship seems quite rocky at the moment”

Yamato pushed the beer in Mitsuki’s hands. “Drink up. Ichi of all people can take care of himself. But I think he won’t be coming home tonight.” Yamato started to smirk.

“My brother is too young to be doing that!” Mitsuki opened his beer can, took several gulps and shouted.

“Oh? Aren’t you having a pretty wild imagination?” Yamato elbowed Mitsuki teasingly. “I didn’t say anything about them having sex”

“YOU DIRTY MIND OSSAN!!!” Mitsuki accidentally spilt some of his beer on Yamato’s clothes. “I JUST TOOK A BATH MITSU!!” He shouted back.

Also hanging in the living area near the TV, Tamaki whispered to Sougo. “Sou-chan, what are they on about?”

“Nothing important, Tamaki-kun. Hora, just enjoy your pudding.” Sougo tried his best to distract the young boy from the adult conversation. Luckily it worked. Good thing Nagi was in a bath or it would have gotten even louder.

~~

Standing in front of the fountain in the middle of the night where Riku collapsed earlier, Iori took a full breath in and began to sing the Tamaki’s part of ‘Miss You...’.

Riku wanted to hear Iori sing it because when he heard it the first time. He could feel Iori was conveying the emotions through those lyrics. It made his hair stand on end when the boy’s voice went straight to his heart.

He wanted to do the same thing. 

Iori was drawn in by Riku’s lovely voice. Riku’s voice singing an emotional song sounded different from him singing Kujou Riku’s songs. Not only that, tonight was special. Riku let his own body move naturally to the song.

He looked like a princess waiting for her Prince Charming to reach her.

For the first time, Iori witnessed Riku’s true beauty. He saw the real Nanase Riku who wore his heart on his sleeves. Riku might have felt pretty hollowed for only being able to taste and understand some negative emotions through that song. Regardless, the former idol thought of it as a new start for unlocking the puzzles surrounding his own heart.  

Their voices blended in so well during the chorus it seemed like the fountain was dancing to their melodies. The full moon was shining brightly for the renewed couple.

“You are...beautiful” Iori blurted those words out after they finished the song without realizing it.

“E-Eh?” Riku actually blushed. Iori was not any better.

“I-I’ve never seen you expressed your emotion like that before.” Iori looked straight into Riku’s eyes. “It was wonderful”

Riku put his hands on his chest. Somehow, he was able to do it. “I think...it’s because of Iori. I can’t explain why, but I can understand why Iori was singing this song this evening. And I want to...respond to those feelings” Riku was getting fidgety like a girl who was ready for her crush to say a cool line.

“Isn’t that great, Kujou-san? Just to be sure...you do realise it’s a sad song right?” Iori could not help but smile like a composed but proud mother. His smile dropped when he was interrupted by a super confused look from Riku following by a small coughing fit. “We need to get you home. I’ll hear more of that later.” Iori rubbed Riku’s back and tried to stand in a direction that would shield Riku from cold wind.

“Is Iori staying over?” The older boy looked at him with baby doll eyes.

“...yes”

~~

The next morning, Iori opened the door to I6 dorm to find angry Mitsuki standing right behind it with his hands on his waist.

“Come sit here Iori” Mitsuki did not leave a chance for Iori to prepare. He dragged his little brother to the common area couches where everyone else was sitting.

Iori had prepared for the worst. Yesterday, he had not texted his Nii-San about not coming home until midnight, of course, Mitsuki was going to be mad. Plus, it was inappropriate for a group centre to go ‘have fun’ on his own after their huge success even though they were having their celebrations today.

Just when Iori was about to open his mouth to apologise, Mitsuki hugged the boy out of the blue. A very tight hug as well. “Uuuuuu Iori you poor boy! That must have been so painful...uuuuu”

“E-Eh?” Iori sweatdropped. Then he noticed other members were giving him sad looks.

“OH Iori” Nagi dished out his Kokona plush from nowhere and placed her on Iori’s lap. “Let KOKONA take away your sadness  _okay_?”

“Iorin” Tamaki was the next in line. “You can have one of my Ousama puddings today”

Yamato then came to sit next to Iori’s remaining side and squeezed the boy’s shoulder. “It will get better. You have Onii-san’s words”

“Iori-kun, I’ve got plenty of tissues and handkerchiefs ready here. Cry as much as you want. It's not good to keep your emotions bottled up.” Sougo placed his supplies on the table and eyed Iori with such concern.

Stunned by the members’ actions, Iori could not find words in his throat. “E-everyone what?”

“What what?” Yamato pulled himself back a little. “You and Riku broke up, right?”

“Yamato-San! Don’t say it out so straightforwardly!” Mitsuki snapped at the leader before turning to caress Iori’s cheeks. “It’s okay, Iori. Everything will be okay...”

Iori still did not know what to do. “Nii-san I’m okay I-“

“There is no need to push yourself, Iori. I’m sure we can talk to Manager about letting you take some time off for a few days” Sougo reassured Iori.

_This is bad._  Iori thought.  _How did they even find out about it?_

I6 began discussing plans and scenarios around Iori. Whenever Iori tried to say something, they would tell the boy something along the line of ‘it’s okay’. In the end, Iori had to shout because he got so uncomfortable. “LISTEN TO ME PLEASE!!!”

“Kujou-san and I broke up BUT we are back together now!!!!” Iori kept shouting with his eyes shut. “He had a severe attack so we had a long talk and a lecture at the hospital. We’re okay now!!!”

It was everyone else’s turn to be stunned. Mitsuki pulled out of a very long hug. “But Yaotome said you two broke up!”

“I said we did! We’re just back together now!” Iori snapped back before sighing. It turned out slightly drunk Mitsuki got worried about his little brother at 1 am so he, for some who-knows-why reason, called Nanase Tenn. Gaku was the one who picked up since Tenn was already fast asleep right next to him. No one knew if it was Gaku’s fault for not telling the full information or Mitsuki’s for not listening to the whole thing.

~~

Two days later...

“Please sign here”

Riku gulped before grabbing a pen and carefully writing down his signature on the official document.

And with that, it marked a true end of Kujou Riku.

Tenn was, without question, there with Riku. The whole arrangement was done in private so this would not leak to the media at the wrong time.

Riku turned to his twin brother. “Tenn-nii, I...”

Tenn gave an angelic smile before nodding. “Welcome back, Nanase Riku”

~~

- **4 days later** -

Riku had been visiting the park late every night since that day he sang with Iori. He was out again tonight, making sure to wear enough clothes to keep himself warm and comfortable at the same time.

His reason? It may sound strange but the boy said he felt like he could find his ‘heart’ here.

He wanted to bring that heart home with him.

Riku had been keeping contact with Iori. Still, the boy had not told his boyfriend about changing the surname and coming to the park so late at night. He did not want to worry Iori with the latter.

Riku looked up to the starless night sky and smiled lightly. “Hello moon-san, I’m he-* _cough*_  here. I hope you’ll watch me again tonight.”

Little did he know he had another audience.

Riku took off his red puffy jacket. Under the midnight moonlight, he stretched his body before closing his eyes and let himself connect with the melody in his mind.

The song he chose tonight was his boyfriend’s solo song, “ONE dream”. Riku sang and let himself danced slowly to that song. The redhead kept singing so passionately he looked nothing like Kujou Riku on stage. He was able to fill his own emptiness by thinking about Iori while singing his song.

It was a part of his journey to reconnect with the world and people around him. However, his moment of peace was cut short by a sound of applause.

_This is bad! I didn’t expect anyone to be here._  Kujou Riku was supposed to remain hidden from the public and here he was without a disguise of any kind. Taken by surprise, Riku straightened himself up. He turned around and his eyes met with a dark magenta pair of a man who was definitely older than him. He was wearing a deep burgundy suit and had blond hair. Riku could not see his face clearly since it was too dark. Even then, Riku knew they had met before.

The older man was the first to speak. “That was a heartwarming performance, young man. You are very talented.”

Riku’s eyes widened.  _Ah! It’s him! President Takanashi!_  Then how come he had not called Riku by name already? True, it was dark but a president of the idol business should have been able to easily recognise Kujou Riku by his voice.

The older man said nothing more. He only reached into his suit pocket and gave what seemed like a business card to Riku. Of course, he could not read anything on it. “Would you like to debut as an idol?” The man asked. When Riku opened his mouth, the man said “You don’t have to give your answer now. If you are interested, all the details are on that card.”

Finally, he looked at Riku’s face one last time. “I do hope to see you soon. Take care.” He smiled at Riku before disappearing into the darkness.

Riku went to sit on the edge of the fountain, taking in deep breaths to calm himself. He could only watch the man walking away from him. “What just happened...?”

~~

“Seriously!?!”

Riku went back to his apartment and the first thing he did was checking that mysterious card. He rubbed his eyes and read it again and again. It said the same thing. He definitely did not misread. Well, Riku knew the man was Takanashi Otoharu.

Riku was more than confused this time. He flopped onto his bed with one arm on his forehead, not bothering with sleeping right now. If he really was the president then surely he knew Kujou Riku and his circumstances better than anyone else. So why did he ask him to debut at his agency when the bad rumours were still flying around? Or when it was still a risky gamble to rebuild a stable fan base?

Maybe it was a mistake. Then again maybe it was a chance. A chance for him to become an idol again. He did not know why the man would scout him knowing of his messy history, but he did not need an answer. If there was a second chance for him to pursue his dream, he was willing to grab it.

~~

The next morning, Riku contacted Takanashi Productions by calling the number on the card. The call went straight to Takanashi Otoharu. The young boy was invited to Otoharu’s office that same morning. Riku being hopeless as always, he did not get a chance to ask any questions while he was on the phone with the president. He decided to just get a taxi there to find out what was going on.

As soon as Riku stepped out of the car, he was greeted by one of the staffs, Ogami Banri. They only exchanged small greetings before Banri led Riku to the president’s office. “Come in” A man shouted from the other side when Banri knocked on the door three times.

“Welcome, welcome” Sitting behind his large desk, Otoharu with a pink rabbit Kinako in his arms greeted Riku a wide smile. His eyes were shut as usual. Banri walked forward to stand right beside Otoharu.

“Or rather...welcome back to the entertainment business” Otoharu opened his eyes to reveal the same gaze Riku saw from last night. “Kujou Riku-kun”

Riku was not sure what to say as he could not feel anything, so he went with what he knew was not wrong. “If I may, president, I am now called Nanase Riku.” He stopped at that. There was no ‘thank you for having me’ talk coming from the boy. Perhaps he was rude, but Otoharu was prepared. He did not know much about Riku in terms of personality. What he knew was the boy’s family situation from that day they had an urgent meeting.

We could say the president scouted Kujou Riku who was known as ‘the demon idol’. In fact, Banri opposed to the idea of recruiting Riku. He had seen some of Riku’s pure side at work but he was not fully convinced the agency should take the risk. However, he knew there was no stopping Otoharu, so he complied.

“Well then Nanase Riku-kun” Otoharu corrected the name. “Welcome to Takanashi Productions. As you are aware, I am the president, Takanashi Otoharu and this is Ogami Banri, who is going to be your manager”

“Wait, President?” Banri panicked and turned to look at Otoharu. “You didn’t tell me about this???” Riku remained expressionless.

Otoharu smiled and just continued. “I will let you two spend some time together. The plan is, you are going to debut as a solo idol. You and Banri can discuss your image before getting your first song.”

“...What about my songs?” Riku asked with a straight face. Banri thought Riku was not paying attention to what Otoharu was saying and that was not a very good first impression for him. “Kujou Riku’s songs” The boy’s speech was way too blunt.

“Of course the agency will work on acquiring the license of those if you want them. Do not worry, Riku-kun.”

Riku was so not used to dealing with such open-mindedness. He expected orders, not choices. “What if they are completely different from my current image?”

“I believe it will not be a problem as long as you remain true to who you are, Riku-kun. The fans will see that.” Again with Otoharu’s reply of ‘kindness’. The boy felt he could get irritated with the man if he was not careful. Luckily, it was time and Otoharu had other matters to attend to, so Riku was left with Banri. Right before the president left however, the oldest had an order for Riku.

“You are not allowed to let anyone know that you have joined our agency until you debut. Alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....and there! Hewlo lovely ppl I updated!!! (Kenar everyone can see that so shut up) Sorry for my absence. Too many life-related things to deal with right now. I have this chapter written quite a long while ago as I posted a mini teaser on Twitter but could not get time to edit and post it until now. Unfortunately, next chapter is not yet written (damn) so the wait will likely be long...while you are waiting let me talk a bit about random facts about this fic (which you dont have to read but if you do it would make me very happy fufufu >< [seriously])
> 
> \- This fic originally was not supposed to be so focused on IoRiku relationship but rather, on just Riku's life but hey, my inner IoRiku was like 'I want more' so yeah it is as it is now.
> 
> \- I picked GakuTenn on a whim lol....and I wanted to put in MitsuYama but never got around to putting in any obvious events or hints.
> 
> \- I made Riku more sickly just because I like to see him suffer 
> 
> \- Because of this fic and The Sweetness of Tears, IoRiku does not happen in DiMENSIONS (my other fic). Reason? I HAVE USED UP AND EXHAUSTED IORIKU SHIP IDEAS OTHER THAN 'NANASE-SAN IS CUTE'
> 
> \- I'm quite paranoid about inconsistencies in my fics. Of course this one being a long multi-chaptered fic I often feel like I don't remember my own previous chapters. Trust me I try to check to make sure the story/character develops in a way that makes sense but...I don't really have time to reread what i wrote! At least I hope to tell you Riku is extremely unpredictable when it comes to how he feels but he's trying to get better which he did and then Kujou. Yeah. Enough said [Kenar wat?]
> 
> -I've changed plot for this fic several times. Even now I haven't decided where to go from here. but I can tell you about the original ending I was going for. Remember BLACK or WHITE? Well, Riku was supposed to call Kujou Takamasa two days before the event, saying he wanted to drop out. And Kujou would, in his mind, be a gentleman and admitted defeat to Iori saying he could no longer control Riku so he let Riku do as he pleased. On BoW day, Riku then was supposed to quit the agency, shut his contacts and hid himself from the entertainment world, from everyone including Iori. He was then to come back several months later when he realised he had a hard time finding his true self without Iori's help. 
> 
> Phew. I guess that's all I wanted to say for now. THANK YOU for all your support. 
> 
> Again if you wanna chat, 'kenarkrsun' is my Twitter!


	27. My Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banri tries to get to know Riku better and what the boy wants from being an idol. I6 is told a new idol is joining their agency.

Banri led Riku to another office. There, he explained that Riku’s situation was a very delicate matter so they had to plan out his debut properly. Riku would not be able to debut normally like I6 or TRIGGER, he would need to go out with a bang, similar to how Kujou Riku appeared out of nowhere and gained instant popularity. They needed that ‘bang’ factor to fight incoming questions and rumours about Riku himself once he reappeared to the public. To do so, not even IDOLiSH6 or Tsumugi could know about Riku joining the agency.

“They will be informed about a new idol joining an agency, just not who” Banri placed a cup of warm tea on the glass table in front of his new idol. “Now, what kind of idol would you like to be, Riku-kun?”

Riku seemed surprised by what Banri was asking. “Do I even have a choice, manager-san?” Okay, the boy seriously needed to work on warming up to his manager first of all.

The man stared at Riku. “Like you just said, I am your manager so I have two jobs: make you shine brightly on stage and keep you happy.”

“Why do you care?” Riku asked coldly. Well, he was being himself. He truly wanted to Banri to explain.

Banri’s relaxed expression disappeared. He frowned. “Riku-kun, don’t you think you are being quite rude?”

~~

Riku was told to go home for the day after Banri’s attempt to get to know the boy better failed. There was absolutely no flow in their conversation. The manager was not the type to get irritated easily, yet he felt like Riku kept poking his nerves with those blank eyes and a straight face.

“ _siggggggggghhhhhhhh_ ”

Banri let his chin and arms rest on a table at the certain theme cafe. It had been a while since he last visited Momo and Yuki’s heavenly place. Back before I6 days, he was a regular weekly customer here.

“Ban, What’s wrong?”

When Yuki went to serve a cup of black coffee without sugar at his friend’s table, he could not help but ask. It almost seemed like someone had stolen Banri’s life force, leaving him half dead.

“It's confidential” Banri sighed for the hundredth time. "So I can't really tell you, Yuki"

“How about we talk in a private room?” Yuki opened his palm so that Banri's gaze followed it to the room in the back. "I won't charge any extra" The butler gave a small smile. It was hard to tell he was actually pouting “You are always so mean. You suddenly left me and Momo when you became I6's manager, which we had just found out, and now you magically reappeared just to not share anything about your life.”

“Whoa whoa whoa! Yuki” Momo jumped out of the kitchen and dashed to tug Yuki's arm. "That's too much!" He turned his head to bow lightly to Banri. “Sorry, Ban-san! We understand that it's confidential. Well, we were sad when you disappeared but we understand. Okay?” Momo looked between Yuki and Banri. Finally, genuine smiles appeared on both Yuki and Banri's faces.

Banri chuckled. “Thanks, Momo-kun”

“If Momo says so…” Yuki gave in.

That moment, a current song playing in the theme cafe was coming to an end. The next song caught the attention of almost everyone in the cafe. It was one of Kujou Riku's hit songs which had hardly been played in public places since his disappearance.

“Ah...Riku-kun's music” Yuki closed his eyes and listened to the song closely. He was one of Riku's biggest fans after all.

“It's great no matter how you listen to it” Momo's sad face started creeping in. Riku called in earlier to say he wanted to resign from the cafe butler's position. The boy tried his best to express gratitude. Yuki wanted to ask what Riku was planning to do but did not get a chance to, so the couple could not help but worry a bit about his old friend. "I wonder how Riku is doing now"

Banri's eyes widened when he heard Momo's last sentence. He thought perhaps the two knew Riku personally judging from how Momo addressed him. To find out, all he needed to do was ask. “Do you know Riku-kun, Momo-kun?”

Momo and Yuki looked at each other before nodding. Yuki smiled mischievously when he caught how Banri seemed to have got some mysterious energy back.

“He's a good kid…”

Meanwhile, at Riku's apartment…

Iori slapped a large poster on the wall which showed pictures of several human faces with different expressions. Below each picture was written a word to define that expression such as ‘sad’ or 'happy'.

“I have never thought I would have to do this but here goes” Iori took a deep breath in and pointed at a 'happy' face. “Kujou-san, what makes people happy? Give me an example”

Riku sat crossed-legged on the floor, staring at the poster with his blank eyes. Soon he began to puff up his face. “Iori, I am not an idiot. You don’t have to treat me like one”

Iori rolled his eyes. Though he would admit Riku’s pouting face was the cutest. “I didn’t say you are…” The high school boy then put his chin up and smiled. “...but you do act like one sometimes”

Riku’s eyebrows raised. However, his eyes remained blank. “What did you just say?” He stood up and stomped to stand right in front of Iori. Iori could tell Riku was acting angry without feeling it much. The younger boy was satisfied with that reaction for now.  _At least Kujou-san recognises some of his hidden emotions now._  - he thought. “You are not a very good actor, Kujou-san”

“Hmph! Iori is not cute at all” Pouting Riku suddenly grabbed Iori’s left arm and pulled him into a hug. Riku smiled when he could see the boy who was acting cool turning red. “Now  _embarrassed_  Iori is cute” Riku whispered into Iori’s ear. He emphasised the word ‘embarrassed’, hoping to impress Iori that he understood emotions.

“I AM NOT!” Iori pushed Riku away and now his face turned even redder. Pfftt boy, that did not help, did it?

Riku frowned. “You look just like that picture though!” He shouted back while pointing at the 'embarrassed' expression on the poster. “And you do this when I hug you or hold your hands. Why? Shouldn't you be happy??? I don't understand” The redhead pouted again. At this point, Iori could not tell if Riku was actually confused or he was pretending to be to tease him. What he was sure of was the fact that Riku was an emotional roller coaster when his strong emotion did not run wild. Iori could make Riku stop pouting and smile within a second, well, after he dealt with his own feelings anyway.

“Forget it! I can't do this anymore!!!!” Iori dug his fingers in his hair as if his head was hurting terribly. In order to get himself out of this messy situation, Iori used all his strength to regain the composure he had lost and invited Riku to Yamamura Soba instead. Tired and hungry Riku agreed right away without questioning anything further.

~~

"I refuse to accept this. I’m going to have a word with the president”

IDOLiSH6 was called to a meeting with their manager in the morning to be told they were going to have an unknown rival in the same agency. The young centre stood up in frustration. He disliked, no, hated the idea. Unlike Yaotome Productions, Takanashi Productions was a small agency. Taking care of one idol group with 6 members should already have their hands full. To have gone ahead and scout another idol whose identity remained a secret was not what Iori had in his plan, and he hated when things do not proceed as planned.

“Iori-kun calm down!” Sougo pulled Iori’s arm when he saw the boy was ready to bolt out of the practice room. Tsumugi was at a loss of what to do when Iori snapped at her. “I can’t believe you did not try to defend us. You have broken our trust, manager”

“ _OH,_  Iori  _please_  be kinder to our lady” Nagi showed a hurt look on his face.

Mitsuki also was not pleased with his little brother’s action. “Nagi’s right, Iori. Manager has done so much for us. Apologise to her”

Iori sighed. “Fine. I am sorry” Iori turned to give Tsumugi a quick dissatisfied look. “But I am not taking back what I’ve said. I can’t believe you adults are okay with this”

“Iorin is too serious” Tamaki leaned his back against the wall. He clearly had no worry on his mind right now. “We just need to keep doing our best right?”

“And what if our best isn’t enough to keep the group going?” That line from Iori’s mouth made another relaxed man felt he needed to say something.

“Ichi, do you really doubt our potential that much? The oldest in the group gave him a stern look. “Look, I can see why you are upset but you haven’t looked at the bright side of this. Maybe we can be friends with him, maybe we can help each other grow”

Even though Iori’s logical thinking defied everything his teammates were saying, he loved his group. He loved IDOLiSH6. For now, he decided he would keep quiet until the mysterious idol’s identity was revealed.

~~

The next morning, Riku was sitting in a car Banri was driving. The manager only said he wanted to take Riku on a trip and Riku just got on the car without asking where or why. Of course, Banri came prepared after getting some ‘detailed’ information about the boy from the two cafe butlers. Although he forgot to think how complicated it could get to actually deal with the ‘emotionless’ redhead.

“Aren’t you curious where we are going, Riku-kun?” Banri asked while keeping his eye on the road.

“Mhhhmmm Even if I say I don’t want to go you would force me to anyway right...zzz?” Riku answered sleepily without thinking much. The sleepy part was understandable since Banri picked him up at 5 am in the morning.

However, Banri was shocked to hear the answer. “Riku-kun what-“ He turned his head to look at Riku momentarily to find the boy was actually talking in his sleep.

“ZzZz ‘m tired” Riku’s shut eyes started to twitch. “My chest hurts. I can’t breathe...why do I have to keep dancing, father?”

“Ah” Banri recalled Riku’s family situation the day they had an emergency meeting at Yaotome Productions. He decided to pull over for a bit to grab a blanket in the trunk. Gently placing a blanket on his new idol, he spoke softly “It’s okay, Riku-kun. You can rest now”

“Zzzz” Riku seemed to have relaxed a bit as he snuggled comfortably under the thick blanket.

~~

Riku found himself in a futon laid out in a large room in a wooden lodge. The whole lodge was made of large pale-brown logs. The redhead rubbed his eyes and slowly walked to the opened window. The air was so fresh it made him want to go outside. Plus, the scenery looked very calming with a shallow clear stream running through on whitish-grey gravels just a short distance away from where he was.

The young boy walked down a few steps and approached the stream. Feeling drawn by it, he kneeled down and touched the cold water with his right hand.

“Enjoying yourself, Riku-kun?”

Riku turned around to find Banri smiling at him with his arms full of a large soda bottle, two glasses and a bag of two bento boxes.

Banri and Riku sat down cross-legged on a yellow picnic mat. Riku opened his Bento box to find it was clearly homemade. “Usamimi Friends?” Riku recognised the coloured rice rabbits on one part of the box.

“I’m surprised you know them Riku-kun” Banri smiled. “I asked Mitsuki-kun if he could make two extra boxes last night. You can thank him once you debut”

“Iori likes them” Riku began to destroy the characters’ cuteness without thinking much.

“You and Iori-kun are close right?” Banri began his questioning moment. Riku nodded. Little did Banri know they were more than just close friends.

_You see Riku-kun might not be able to feel much about himself…_

“Say, Riku-kun” Banri shuffled closer to the hungry boy. “As an idol, what do you want to tell someone you care about, like Iori-kun? What do you want to make them feel?”

_...but when it comes to his friends and family…_

Riku stopped eating and went into his thinking pose. He could not think of anything though. “Manager-san, I don’t understand. You can just order me to do things and I would do them”

“All the more reason to have you decide for yourself, Riku-kun.” Banri spoke with his usual gentle tone. “You’ve been living your life for other people by taking orders for so long. You know it would be more fulfilling if the decision is made by you”

“Well then” Banri's words seemed to have sparked something in Riku's mind.

“I want all eyes to be on me. I want everyone to hear my voice, hear my songs, sing with me and I want them to be moved by me. I want to see people cry when the song is sad, dance when the beat is right and most importantly, smile when they feel happy”

Banri notices the changes in Riku’s eyes.

“Even when I can’t feel it myself, I want everything”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAAAASSS GO RIKKUN MY BOI!!! (Yes Kenar has gone crazy)  
> I hope you lovely people ike this update.   
> Now...Iori doesn't seem very happy with Takanashi Productions' new idol. What if he said that to Riku? :P Fufufufu~  
> Kudos and comments are like chocolate to me i greatly appreciate them! Thank you for all your support!!   
> @kenarkrsun is my twitter if you want to scream at me for keep writing too much angst (LOL Not that I will stop haha)


	28. My Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iori is stressed and he is not happy with how Riku seems to be avoiding him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely ppl! This chapter is longer than usual just letting you know. Enjoy!

A week after IDOLiSH6 was notified about the new idol, Iori was stressed. After the success of IDOLiSH6 live concert, they began to receive more jobs and became busier. It would have been fine if Iori was not worried about the unknown rival, or rather ‘the enemy’, joining Takanashi Productions.

“I don’t have a lead about them at all” Iori was in his room at his desk after today’s work, thinking hard and talking to himself. “Manager hasn’t got a single clue. The practice room at the agency seems to only be used by I6. Since he promised his group mates he would not talk to the president, he decided to investigate ‘a little’ on his own.

Otoharu and Banri could appear quite laidback, but they actually were experienced and cautious. By now, they had a new place ready for Riku to move in. The house was a little old but spacious enough to have a separate recording and practice room. To avoid any suspicions from someone like Iori and Tenn, Riku chose to remain living at his apartment until he made a proper appearance to the public. He only went to his new house for work.

Iori was even more worried when he found out from Momo and Yuki that Riku quitted his job at the theme cafe. He had so many questions. When he finally had some time off, Riku said he was busy. Riku did not lie when he said he was busy. He had to practice, memorise the lyrics and dances to his new songs and recall the routines of Kujou Riku’s songs. Otoharu told the boy he would start working on getting the license for those songs after Nanase Riku’s debut since Riku wanted them. It was a lot of work for the young boy, but he felt strangely good like his life clock started ticking again.

_Just what have you been doing, Kujou-san?_  Iori could not understand why it was so hard to meet this hopeless guy when he quitted the job. If Iori had to be honest, he was more hurt than worried. He would always ask about Riku’s wellbeing and whenever Riku had problems, he would listen. Well, look at him now, wanting to talk about his issues and Riku was nowhere to be seen.

The rest of I6 could see Iori’s mind was not with their jobs at all for the past few days. He did not mess up, but he seemed to be...lifeless. Unmotivated. Yesterday, Mitsuki was ready to confront Iori when Yamato intervened. “Maybe Ichi hasn’t been getting enough rest. We have our afternoon off tomorrow let’s see how things go” he said.

So today came, Iori sat on a chair in his room, hugging an Usamimi Friends plush. He was exhausted, frustrated and restless. He had enough feeling out of control so he grabbed his phone, and without really thinking much, he spammed some texts to Riku.

Iori: Kujou-san, where are you? 

Iori: Listen, we need to talk. Face to face. 

Iori: Are you hiding something from me? 

Iori: You’re being mean, selfish and unfair. Talk to me.

~~

Riku was practising in his new house, fully focused on pulling off difficult dance moves. He spun to the right, landing with his left leg off to the side then immediately turned to the left and mirrored the landing move just now. He had only one beat before it was time for a jumping move.

“WAH! * _thump!*_ ” After that jump, Riku was supposed to land on his feet and continue singing, but his tiredness made him stumble and fall hard on his bum. “ _Huff huff_ ”

“Riku-kun!” Banri opened the door and rushed in with an oxygen bottle. He was not supervising Riku all the time as it could make the boy uncomfortable. Still, he was in the living area right outside. “Mou! You’ve overworked yourself again” The manager looked at his idol worriedly. Riku had been messing up a lot during practice. “Your body needs time to adjust. Don’t rush things. You don’t have to perfect these dances in a day” Banri gave Riku a stern look so Riku could understand he was not satisfied.

“I’m * _cough*_  I-I’m sorry” Riku seemed a little scared. The redhead avoided eye contact with his manager. “I won’t make a mistake next time” He could hardly finish his sentence before having to cover his face with a mask and sucking in oxygen.

“* _sigh*_  That’s not the point” Banri loosened up before ruffling Riku’s head. “It’s good to be determined to work towards your ultimate goal, but not if you hurt yourself to achieve it”

Riku leaned his back against the wall. “Manager-sa...ah...I mean, Manager, I don’t understand you” The boy’s word baffled Banri quite a bit. “Why do you not punish me when I mess up?”

“Because I can see you always put 100% effort into your practices, and that you’re stressed” Banri looked Riku in the eye. “We are now working together. I want you to learn to adjust to this new life while I also learn more about you, Riku-kun. I’m not saying your father’s methods weren’t working, they certainly were. Still from what I can see, they have been causing you a lot of pain and trauma, which I don’t agree.”

Riku shook his head. His breathing seemed to have become more steady. “What’s on your mind, Riku-kun?” Banri asked, confused why Riku responded in such a way.

“I wonder if I really deserve this ’kindness’” Riku asked. As usual, his eyes remained blank. “I mean, father has already made me a doll…” The way Riku described himself made Banri flinch. “Now, I know my emotions more, yet...um, like,” Riku struggled to explain things. “Wouldn’t your ‘kindness’ be wasted on me since I can’t um, what’s that called? Ah- ‘Appreciate’ it as much as others do?”

Banri now smiled. The boy in front of him was simply just so pure and innocent. “Sure, we all love ‘appreciation’. We love it when people return this ‘kindness’ after we share it. Not receiving it in return can be discouraging. That being said, the method of returning this ‘kindness’ doesn’t always need to be direct. In Riku-kun’s case, I’d say how you evolve on stage will make me as a manager so proud that I feel I get something back. The fact that you are asking about this now shows that you are considerate, which is already an ‘appreciation’ of some kind.”

“You deserve to be treated well just like any other, Riku-kun. Now, I suggest you take the rest of today off and rest.”

Riku nodded before standing up, ready to pack his stuff. Before he did, he turned to his manager. “Manager, um, thank you”

~~

Riku had not checked his phone until he went back to his apartment. His eyes widened when he saw several texts from Iori. Worry filled his heart for a minute before it disappeared. He decided to give Iori a call. It did not take long at all for the high school student to pick up.

“Iori” Riku started. “Why did you text me so much?”

Oh boy. Riku meant to say ‘what’s wrong’ but he was terrible at finding the right thing to say.

“Can we meet?” Iori neglected that and just got to the point. He did not want to say he was desperate, though perhaps he was.

“Yes. Where does Iori want to go?” Riku responded with a neutral tone, not catching on Iori’s troubling mind.

“In front of the dome” which was where I6 concert was held last time. Iori hung up right after that.

~~

The redhead saw a familiar figure wearing a huge grey scarf covering half of his face and a thick plain coat standing in front of the concert dome. The cold season was not over. In fact, it was the coldest time of the year.

Riku wore his hair extension but not his black contact lenses. He was also wearing a thick scarf, but it was one with red and dark blue stripes. An oversized beanie covered almost his whole head.

“Iori” Riku approached the younger boy and simply said his name. His mind expected Iori to say why they were meeting now. Iori had a different idea though. His grey eyes were colder than usual.

“Have you got nothing to say, Kujou-san?” The boy asked with a cold tone, angry that there was no ‘how are you’, ‘are you alright?’ or ‘what did you want to talk about’ from the redhead. Right now, Riku was tilting his head in confusion. “What?” he said.

Iori gave the hopeless guy the coldest stare he could muster which probably affected Riku at least a little. “Um...is Iori perhaps hungry?” The redhead reached his gloved hand into a fluffy coat pocket and found a piece of wrapped dark chocolate. He handed it to Iori. Riku himself usually carried around random snacks, yet he felt a strange sense of peace if he picked something that Iori likes.

Iori did not budge. “No?” Riku blinked twice and put the chocolate back to where it was. While Riku was trying to ask another question, he saw something he did not want to see from Iori.

“E-Eh? Why is Iori crying?” Riku raised his left hand to try to touch Iori’s face but was stopped by Iori grabbing it and pushing it down.

“Why can’t you take a clue?” Iori bit his lip. “I needed you”

There it was again, a brief sensation of worry in Riku’s heart. “I-I don’t understand” How many times had the boy said that sentence to the people around him?

“You’re cold” Iori sobbed so he stopped periodically between sentences. “I’ve been trying to see you, or even finding just a moment to talk to you on the phone. You’ve never asked about my well-being” Iori did not raise his voice because what he felt was not anger.

“Is it so hard to say ‘how are you’?”

Iori was hurt.

No matter how hard Riku tried, he could not understand what Iori was trying to say to him.  _Why is ‘how are you’ so important? Is it not just a question people ask to be polite?_

Sometimes, Riku’s mind and heart were conflicted. As he watched Iori, Small waves of anxiety kept rising and disappearing, playing with Riku’s head. He felt so uncomfortable his heart could burst. Trembling hands told him he was about to lose his control.

“Please don’t cry” spoke Riku with his shaky voice, “Is Iori sick? How can I make Iori happy?”

Iori stayed silent. His eyes were looking at the ground. The waves of anxiety were no longer so small for Riku. They came and they chose to stay, building up inside the little boy’s frail body. “I-I don’t know how I can make Iori happy. I-“

Not knowing what he should do, the redhead put a hand on his chest.  _I-I feel…_

This sensation came when Riku was pushed to the corner, with that corner being his mental limit. He felt he was about to cry. Riku was not sure what it was, but since Iori who was always calmed and collected let his tear drop like that...Riku thought, maybe Iori was feeling the same thing as him.

Riku tried to think about what past events have made him feel like this.  _It was like earlier. I messed up and I thought manager was going to punish me…_

_I feel…_

“Is Iori...stressed?”

Iori looked up, in which Riku assumed he was right. So on to the next question. “Is life...hard?”

Teardrops started to flow. Before long, Iori’s head was buried in Riku’s shoulder and his own shoulders began to shake. He was saying so many things Riku could not catch including “* _sob*_  Kujou-san, you Baka.” Riku hesitantly placed his hand on Iori’s back and began to move it up and down, imitating way Iori used to do to him whenever he had a mental breakdown. “It will be okay” Riku whispered. “Iori is going to be fine”

Strangely, Riku felt calmer trying to comfort his boyfriend.

~~

Riku led Iori, who had calmed down enough, to a cafe selling warm desserts nearby. It was known for its fluffy hot pancake served with a generous amount of sauces and toppings. It was pretty busy but the solo idol knew the trick. He had never been here, but according to social media, there was a table with a rounded sofa in one corner of the shop that seemed the most private. Apparently, it was perfect for a couple.

The waitress greeted the two at the table and gave them one large menu to share. Once she left, Riku took the menu and opened it. He noticed Iori was sitting quite far away so he turned to face the boy. ‘ _Why don’t you shuffle closer?_ ’ was what Riku wanted to say. The older boy shook his head internally before moving closer to Iori himself. Their shoulders were now touching.

Iori had never thought of Riku as being inconsiderate. He could imagine how hard it would be for a human to decide on appropriate actions for delicate matters if they did not have feelings. Still, he felt Riku had been with him long enough to at least start letting the emotions which were trying to resurface out more, so the redhead could start living.

At this moment, Iori blushed. For once, Riku felt like an ordinary human to him. The older boy was pointing at the pancake topping menu to say he thought he liked strawberries so he wanted them and Iori was free to pick whatever he wanted. In the past, Iori noticed Riku would go with whatever ‘typical’ food that restaurant had. Riku never had a favourite colour, a favourite dish, a list of places he wanted to go to or anything like that. One time when the two of them were with Tenn, Iori had asked Riku about what he liked when he was still with his parents, Riku could not recall when Tenn answered ‘heroes and Omurice’ within half a second.

Iori could not help viewing Riku’s life as empty as his blank red eyes. The high school boy wanted to return a smile to Riku’s face. The problem was when he himself was in a vulnerable state like this, he could not protect, let alone change, Riku. Right now, he felt more at ease seeing Riku act this way. Riku was warm. If Iori was not so stressed and in public, he probably would have let himself relax and lean on Riku’s shoulder.

When the pancake arrived, Riku did not reach for his cutlery. Surprised by Riku’s action, Iori turned to face the older man and their eyes met. “Iori needs to talk, right?” Riku asked because Iori always made him talk when he felt terrible.

“Work’s been hard lately. Not to mention we’ve got troubling news” Iori sighed. “Before I talk about that though, I need to clarify something first” Riku waited so Iori continued. “I feel like you’ve been avoiding me”

“That’s not true” Riku shook his head. “I’ve been busy”

“Don’t lie, Kujou-san” Iori refused to accept such a stupid and thoughtless answer. “Yuki-san told me you quitted your job. Now, tell me what you are hiding.”

“I’m not-“ The boy was terrible at lying. Good thing, he came prepared. He had been in an entertainment business long enough to know someone could confront him about anything at any time. “-but I am hiding something, yes”

Iori’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“I’m not Kujou Riku anymore.” Riku chose not to lie. He simply said half of the truth. “I changed my name back to Nanase...and so I have a lot of paperwork to do” Iori immediately questioned about Riku’s health condition once he had heard the ‘a lot of work’ line. Riku admitted he had not been too well. What he did not tell was it was actually from pushing himself over the limit during practice. “Can Iori tell me about work now?” Riku was genuinely worried about Iori. After all, he cared a lot about Iori’s happiness. That question was not meant to distract the younger boy even though it did.

Iori wasted no time describing how frustrating it was for the agency to suddenly scout another idol. It was not even clear if the idol(s) joining was a solo or a group. Judging from what Tsumugi had said, I6 assumed the agency scouted a solo idol.

Riku listened quietly to every word while looking at Iori’s stern face from time to time. He should have been sad that Iori did not support the idea of the idol, well, him, joining the agency. Then again, Riku was used to being disliked or hated by another idol. Right now, Riku enjoyed seeing how dedicated the boy was to his job. It made him smile a little.

Noticing Riku’s strange reaction, Iori stopped ranting. “Did you just smile?” Iori frowned hard when that smile did not disappear. “Riku...you are smiling. I am serious!!”

“Iori is so cute though” 

“Fwah?!?” Iori blushed. He was caught off guard. Trying hard to regain his composure, he went back to the topic “Kujou-san this-“

“Same or different agencies” Riku cut Iori off and began to eat the pancake in front of him. “In or out of show business, there are always enemies” It took Iori a whole minute to catch on that Riku was now responding to his work situation. Seriously, he could not keep up with this guy’s changes in emotions. “Enemies are bad, but they can also make you stronger…” Riku trailed off a little, the grip on the fork tightened. “...even if they hurt you”

Once Iori realised Riku was referring to his father, he dropped the topic completely. He felt much better talking about this to his boyfriend anyway. There was no need for Riku to relive his pain. The two ate the hot pancake covered with dark chocolate sauce and strawberries in silence. 

_Father was not all bad, Iori._  Thought Riku.  _So I’m not all bad too._

_Iori will change his mind. He will move to my songs and he will be happy to have me as an ‘enemy’._

_Eyes on me, Iori. I accept your challenge._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that was enough IoRiku fluff? This chap was basically main character focused next chap will be more about how things around them progress. I didn't think this story would be this long but 'the ending is near' still stands. I just don't want to make a mistake and suddenly drop the ending bit like i did with my first fic. I want it to flow properly. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for your support always! <3


	29. My (hidden) Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banri has planned out how Riku will debut. But wait...Riku has another personal issue...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies on how short this chapter is, but it feels right to end it there so I hope you enjoy it anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020!!!!

“A Secret idol?”

A high school girl looked at her friend’s excited face in surprise. “Yeah, haven’t you heard? A new idol from TakaPro is holding a live concert at a large outdoor venue next month” That friend showed her her phone with the advertisement on it.

“I6 is doing the opening act for him?!?” The girl’s mouth dropped. “He must be a big deal! Wait…” She tilted her head in confusion. “It doesn’t say who he is?”

“That’s the point!” The friend beamed. “His identity remains a secret. We won’t know until he makes his appearance on stage!” She seemed very excited.

“Whaaat? That’s crazy!”

~~

“The whole city is talking about you, Riku-kun” Happy Banri set down two Karaage Chicken Bento boxes on the dining table at Riku’s new house. The hungry boy almost ran out of the practice room when he heard the sound of the keys unlocking the door. He wasted no time to sit at the table and began to poke the rice with his chopsticks.

Then he froze on the spot.

Banri sat on the chair opposite to Riku. He was about to open his Bento box when he saw the boy’s body went still. “Riku-kun is something wrong??” Banri sweatdropped. When is he going to get used to dealing with this emotionally-unpredictable boy?

“Manager” Riku stared at Banri’s face. “Isn’t it bad to use IDOLiSH6 to make a name for myself?”

Banri smiled. Even though the boy was unpredictable, he could be sure Riku has a nice nature. “Do not worry, Riku-kun. You are not the only one who benefits from this concert”

Banri continued to smile. Riku blinked twice and tilted his head in confusion.

“You will understand once you see I6 on stage. Now, shall we eat?”

~~

“What’s the meaning of this, manager?” Of course, I6 including Iori were shocked to hear they would be performing at a live concert, but as an opening act for the unknown rival. Their morning practice was once again interrupted by Tsumugi breaking the news.

“I have to say that’s a pretty bold move for a newbie” Yamato voiced his opinion early this time.

“Yeah, it’s risky” Mitsuki stopped drinking water and joined in. “Not so much for us, but for him.”

“I agree” Sougo nodded with a serious look on his face. “Not to sound high and mighty but our fans will buy tickets to support us. However, once we finish our performance, people could lose interest in the new idol if he failed to rise to their expectations”

“What is the president thinking?” Tsumugi muttered under her breath.

“This is war” Tamaki shouted, raising his right arm high up in the air. “We’re competing for the spotlight” He was so pumped he sent his jar of Ousama pudding in that hand flying, which landed on the floor, creating a whole mess. “NO MY OUSAMA PUDDING!!!”

“I’ll buy you a new one for you to keep that fighting spirit, Yotsuba-san” Iori gave his high school friend a reserved smile.

“OH” Nagi, on the other hand, seemed sad. “I don’t want to make an enemy within the agency…” He pressed his index fingers together repeatedly.

“Don’t worry, Rokuya-san” Iori turned to Nagi and everyone else in the practice room with his face full of determination. “While I’d like to think of him as an enemy, you don’t have to. I only ask for us to go against him like we did to TRIGGER and Kujou Riku at BLACK or WHITE”

“That’s right” Mitsuki nodded in agreement. “That is our job, and our pride as an idol”

In the evening, IDOLiSH6 appeared on Mr. Shimooka’s live talk show. Of course, the famous MC did not waste a moment to interview I6 about the hottest topic of the entertainment business right now. “Soo IDOLiSH6, do you know the true identity of the ‘secret idol’?”

“You know what, we don’t” Yamato answered. The audience went “Ehhhh?”

“Oh my” Mr. Shimooka made a wowed face. “Secret even to the idols in the same agency! Talk about mysterious. How do you feel about doing an opening act for Mr. secret?” He smiled.

“Fired up!” Tamaki shouted.

“We want to provide our fans with more than just an ‘opening act’” Sougo elaborated Tamaki’s short speech.

“KYAAAAAA~!” The audience screamed for I6’s fanservice, which was known in the show business as a subtle declaration of war.

~~

At Yaotome Productions, TRIGGER was called to Sousuke’s office at late night. Anesagi was already there, standing beside the president’s desk. Sousuke showed his back to the idols, as usual.

“For Takanashi Productions to pull off something like that…” Anesagi asked with a frown on her face. “Do you think…?”

“Kujou Riku” The president said the name with a stern face, surprising TRIGGER members. “Takanashi is smart. By saying the agency has a ‘secret solo idol’, people are sure to talk about Kujou Riku”

“Old man, you mean…” Gaku spoke.

“Whether they have the boy or not we do not know” Sousuke turned around. “What we do know is that the rumour has already begun to circulate”

“Wouldn’t that hurt them more?” Tenn said, as a matter of factly. “Riku’s fan base is extremely divided since his disappearance”

“That might be the case, but they are not just targeting his loyal fans” Anesagi explained while twirling her hair. “Think about it. I6 fans alone will already have half of the venue filled since it’s not like they are performing only one song. They are doing five, which is considered as a mini-live concert”

“The people who hope to see Riku-kun will buy tickets” Ryuu caught on and continued, striking a cool thinking pose. “Plus the people who buy tickets just for the thrill...it’s a perfect marketing strategy”

“Hmph” Gaku was not convinced. “Even if the sales are successful this time, if the guy could not rise to the audience expectations, he is going to struggle” Tenn and Ryuu nodded along to that fact.

“I expect you three to keep doing your best, retain the business friendship with IDOLiSH6, and one more thing.” Anesagi crossed her arms and turned to look at the youngest. “Tenn, if your twin brother appears as Nanase, the best way is to tell our fans the truth. Are you okay with that?”

Tenn nodded without hesitation. He even let a reserved smile appear on his face. “Certainly, Anesagi-san”

~~

The next morning, every member in TRIGGER had a day off so each decided to have their own quiet day. Gaku decided to take a stroll around the park with a large fountain in the middle. It was pretty crowded that day. Gaku must have had a special power or something. He walked around with only a pair of black sunglasses on and no one recognised him.

Winter meant no flowers. It would re-energise Gaku more to see them but it could not be helped. Bushes and tree branches without green leaves would have to do. Shops were opened and children were playing as usual, making the cold winter seemed warm like summer.

There was a path covered with tall trees which Gaku loved because it felt a little more isolated despite the fact that quite a few people were walking around the area. There was only one bench situated in the middle of the path which Gaku wanted to go sit down for a while. However, a person was already sitting on it, or more like he was sleeping while sitting.

Gaku was about to walk past when he took a good look at the sleeping stranger. The young boy had a familiar red hair, though with a long ponytail. He was wearing a very thick, long, light grey coat and trousers as red as his hair. Gaku was sure he knew the boy.

“Nanase?”

When Riku did not respond, Gaku walked forward to cup the boy’s face, very gently nudging it. “Oi. Nanase, wake up.” Gaku kept his voice down so they would not attract unnecessary attention.

A second later, Riku started to open his eyes and blinked. “Tenn-nii?” He muttered sleepily.

Gaku frowned. “Do I seem like a brat to you?”

That woke Riku up in an instant “Wah! Yaot-  _cough cough cough!_ ”

“Whoa calm down!” Gaku watched as Riku took an inhaler out of his coat pocket and brought it to his mouth. “What are you doing sleeping out here in the cold?”

“Mhmm I wanted to get some fresh air but I fell asleep?” Riku answered with his blank eyes. He did not sound so sure. “I couldn’t sleep much last night. It was hard to breathe.”

Gaku placed his hand on his forehead. He felt a headache coming on. “Shouldn’t you see a doctor then?”

“This is * _huff*_  normal” Riku explained that his condition tends to worsen during winter. He had regular checkups with his doctor. What he did not say was his body was in the process of adjusting to an idol life once again.

Gaku felt he could not leave the boy on his own, so he took out his car key and jingled them to catch Riku’s attention. “I’ll take you somewhere warm” However, Riku did not move an inch. Instead, he stared at Gaku’s face and said…

“Yaotome-san, I don’t know what to give Iori for his birthday”

~~

“Tenn-nii, what’s this?”

Riku looked curiously at a tall, clear plastic cup in his hand. It was filled with extra sweet jasmine green tea and black tapioca balls in the bottom.

“Hm? You’ve never had bubble tea, Riku?” Tenn asked while enjoying his black bubble tea with milk. Gaku opted for the traditional hot green tea.

As for what happened, Gaku took Riku to the tea specialist cafe nearby. He called Tenn over to help brainstorming the idea of Izumi Iori’s birthday gift. TRIGGER leader was not sure why he was helping. He felt he could not leave the boy behind or something bad would happen.

Before we move on to the brainstorming part, Riku seemed to be enjoying his bubble tea, using his large straw to trap each ball in the bottom before drawing it up and chewing it. “I’ve never seen Nanase so happy…” Gaku was in awe. Riku had a small cute smile while drinking it. Even Tenn was caught blushing from watching his little brother.

“Mhmm I like it” Riku said without thinking much, unaware of Tenn and Gaku’s shocked faces.

_Gaku, did Riku just…?_  Tenn moved his metal chair closer to Gaku, leaned his body towards the taller man and whispered.

Gaku whispered back  _Nanase has feelings???_  which earned a hard stomp on his left foot. Gaku swore Tenn was beaming like a very proud mother.

“Ah!” All of a sudden Riku stopped drinking. The cup was forcefully placed on the table. He had a horror look on his face. “I’m sorry! I’m really sorry!!” He turned to bow his head endlessly to Tenn and Gaku. Tenn’s smile dropped when he saw Riku’s body trembling. “Riku?? What’s the matter? You didn’t do anything wrong”

“But I-I-“ Riku was about to cry. “Father’s going to punish me” Immediately, Tenn hugged Riku’s body tightly. “I’m not supposed to-“

“Shhh, shhh” Tenn cut Riku’s off while rubbing the boy’s back. “No, Riku, no one is going to hurt you. No one. Gaku and I were overjoyed to see you smile.”

It took a while for Riku to calm down. Once he did, he went back to drinking his bubble tea, though he only had a blank expression on his face.

This time Tenn was the one who was ready to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So strawberry donut is too standard for Riku i gave him bubble tea oh what life XD  
> Theres a reason I ended this chapter here so ehehe until the next one~! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!! <3  
> My twitter is @kenarkrsun feel free to dm me ^^ We can talk ainana~  
> Oh btw to those who are also reading DiMENSIONS, im struggling with it so im sorry it'll take a long while ><


	30. My Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riku finally figures out what to give Iori as a present

Seeing as there was nothing they could do at that moment, Gaku and Tenn moved on to tackling the problem of why Riku was (taken) here at this cafe in the first place.

“So what do you have in mind?” Tenn started.

“Mhmm Iori likes Usamimi friends and anything cute or fluffy” Tenn and Gaku looked at Riku in disbelief.

“You sure you’re not being delusional?” Gaku felt the need to question that since it was the exact opposite of Iori’s ‘sharp and cool’ idol image.

Riku turned to stare at Gaku’s face. “Iori likes them.” He repeated. Seriously, those blank eyes gave Gaku the creeps. He would not dare ask again. Tenn made a mental note to add this method on ‘how to shut Gaku up’ to his personal list.

“Then why don’t you buy those things, Riku?” Tenn asked, keeping a small smile on his face. He enjoyed every minute he was spending with his adorable brother. Riku replied that he could. “But I want to do something...special for Iori”

Gaku and Tenn turned to look at each other before each going into a deep thinking pose. Gaku crossed his arms on his chest. Tenn put an index finger over his mouth.

“What if it’s a cake?” Gaku muttered loud enough for everyone to hear.

“You use cake to solve every problem, idiot” Tenn immediately countered.

“What?” Gaku glared at Tenn. “You demand it every week!” He shouted. The argument was about to break out when Riku spoke “Cake is too ordinary”, shutting down the couple.

Tenn sighed before smiling a little more, thinking he now understood what Riku meant by ‘special’. “You want to give him something that can only come from you then?”

Riku blinked twice. Then he nodded. He explained he had no idea what he could do. “Make a card?” Gaku suggested. Riku sat still, so Tenn added: “Or buy a fancy one and write something for him?” Riku reacted. Gaku swore his suggestion was never heard by Riku. He held back on suggesting the boy to bake a cake as he remembered hearing from Tenn how incredibly clumsy Riku was.

After a while, Riku shook his head. “I...don’t know what to write in it”

“Simple, write what you want to say to him” Gaku leaned forward with his arms on the white metal table. His gaze was fierce, yet it reflected a hint of kindness. “Write your  _feelings_  down, Nanase”

Riku bit his lower lip upon hearing the word ‘feeling’. He seemed to be shaken as the vision of his adoptive father giving him a look of disgust and disappointment overwhelmed his mind. “But-“

Tenn wanted to yap at Gaku for pressuring his traumatised little brother, but he held his tongue. Deep inside his heart, he, too, wanted to see the boy express his emotions freely. Tenn also leaned forward and took hold of Riku’s cold hand. “Riku, there is absolutely nothing wrong with showing how you truly feel.”

Gaku rolled his eyes.  _Say that to yourself, brat._

Seeing as this was a sensitive subject to Riku, Tenn took care to speak softly. “Whatever you do, if it truly comes from your heart, Izumi will feel it. It doesn’t need to be complicated but it needs to be from you”

~~

Riku rolled on his bed the same night, trying to think of what he could do for Iori's birthday. He did visit a shop selling a wide selection of card on his way back home. After spending several minutes on deciding to buy a pink pop-up Usamimi Friends card, he ended up failing to write down even single word on it. He had tried to make a card with drawings on it. You guessed it. Riku could not even draw a flower, let alone creating something that could tell a story.

As Riku said before, he may not feel much, but he had his memories. He was sure he wanted to thank Iori for always being with him and not abandoning him even when he had done terrible things. Riku had stated several times before that he wanted Iori to be happy, and he wanted to protect that happiness in the younger boy's heart. However, right now, Riku only wanted to show his gratitude.

_I can't do anything._  Riku felt discouraged. Feeling something felt so uncomfortable to Riku that he wanted it gone.

Riku lied flat on his back in his bed and began to hum a tune of one of his songs, hoping it would ease his unstable heart.

_”Sing, son.”_

“Father…” Tears began to form in his eyes “Whatever did you mean?”

_”Sing for the crown, my son.”_

“What if my crown is something much smaller than what you have in mind? Would I be in the wrong to pursue it?” Alone in the room, Riku spoke with the plain ceiling without getting any responses.

_”Sing Freely”_

Series of memories played with Riku’s state of mind. “Yaotome-san, is it really okay?”

_”No one is going to hurt you anymore, Riku”_

“Iori…” The redhead took a deep shaky breath in. He wiped the bits of his tears, rolled off his bed to grab his phone and made a phone call.

~~

The next morning, Riku knocked on the door before entering an office that he was now pretty familiar with. Once again, he stood before a man in a magenta suit who had a lovely smile on his face.

“Good morning, Riku-kun” Otoharu greeted the boy. Kinako in the president’s arms also followed up with a ‘MyuMyu!’. “You said you wanted to talk. Has Banri not been a good manager to you?” The oldest man teased his employee.

“I’ll hope it’s not that” Banri who stood right beside the president spoke with a hint of anxiety in his voice. The president was most likely joking. Still, the idea of him getting fired or demoted was scary.

“Is it possible for me to get another song for my debut concert?” Riku jumped straight to the point. The two older men got used to Riku's way of speaking by now. Although, it was unusual for Riku to request something so serious and so suddenly. The boy had always been following ‘orders’ obediently. The smile on the president’s face dropped. “Riku-kun, Care to explain why?”

“I want to try writing a song” Riku bowed deeply. “Please”

Banri was quite surprised. That was one of the last things he expected from Riku.  _Why the sudden inspiration?_  Otoharu continued with his questions. “And what makes you want to do it?”

“There is someone I want to reach” Riku eyes reflected pure determination. “The song will not be just for him. I want it to attract all the attention to me, but I want the lyrics to be special that he will know it is meant for him.” Banri and Otoharu kept staring at Riku without saying anything. The boy refused to back down. “It is a selfish request, but please!” He bowed again.

After what seemed to be a long moment of silence to Riku, both Otoharu and Banri chuckled, catching Riku’s attention.

“Looks like you’ve finally found some sort of fire in you, Riku-kun” Otoharu's smile returned to his face.

“It would take too much time to compose a new song, work with the lyricist and learn the dances for your debut concert.” Banri’s words formed a wave of disappointment inside Riku’s heart. “Although, we do have a selection of pre-written songs in stock. You could have a look at them to see which one suits you the most. How does that sound?” Banri smiled. He did not think becoming Riku’s manager could become such an interesting life experience.

“Ah…” Riku’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape before changing into a smile. His eyes glittered like the shining stars. “I’ll gladly take that offer. Thank you very much, president and manager!” He bowed deeply for the hundredth time before leaving the room.

Otoharu was the first to speak when he was sure Riku’s footsteps could not be heard anymore. “That boy has a lovely smile”

“A shame he is not able to show it so often” Banri’s eyebrows dropped a little. He was partly worried, partly charmed by Riku. Right now, Banri was sure he had made the right decision.

~~

All tickets were sold out.

And so the day has come. When 4500 people from all over Japan gathered at one place to see IDOLiSH6 and the true identity of the secret idol. Despite the cold weather, people came to this outdoor venue, hoping their favourite idols would warm their hearts.

The concert was being held in the evening, so both I6 and the solo idol had plenty of time to do the soundcheck and take care of other preparations on stage. I6 had finished theirs. Everything seemed to be going well for them. Every single member was in a top condition, not to mention each was feeling quite energetic.

“We can’t see him even now!” Mitsuki was one of the people who wanted to know the identity of their rival. He and the rest of I6 were told to stay in their prep room. They were not allowed to leave until the solo idol finishes his testing stuff.

“I heard this is his debut concert, not just his first live” Yamato spoke while taking off his sweaty t-shirt he wore during the prep practice.

“So unfair…” Tamaki pouted. “We only got 9 guests at our first live”

“Worry not, Yotsuba-san” Iori looked stunning in his dark blue costume. It made him stand out from the others who were wearing white. “The guests came for us, not for him” The young centre’s face showed that IDOLiSH6 was ready to give the crowd what they came for.

~~

Banri entered the solo idol’s prep room to find Riku sitting at the corner of the table. The boy was not at his top condition, but he was ready to entertain the crowd nonetheless. The stage practice earlier went smoothly. The staffs ensured water, sports drink and Riku’s medicines were ready at the backstage. Unlike other idols’ concert, Kujou Riku would always have around half a minute between one or two songs to catch his breath. Banri decided it would be best to keep that stage routine.

What was new for Nanase Riku was the fact that he would have to talk for a bit on stage this time. Not because someone instructed him to do so, but he truly wanted to try to connect with the fans a bit more. Kujou Riku would just carry out his performance, say some cool lines and end the concert. Nanase Riku wanted to try anything to entertain people and get their attention.

“Are you nervous, Riku-kun?” Banri grabbed a chair and went to sit next to Riku.

Riku turned to look at his manager. “Why would I be?” He did not understand why Banri asked such a ‘weird question’. It was his job. He was simply doing what he used to do all the time.

“Ahaha. That’s good.” Banri chuckled. “I guess you’re already used to performing in front of the large crowd” He smiled warmly.

“Mhmm” Riku took a sip of his hot green tea. “The stage is mine, manager. People will give me attention”

Banri swore he could see a small smile on Riku’s face.

“No one will take their eyes off me”

~~

“I can't believe we are here”

Among the sea of people at the concert venue stood the famous trio in their disguises. The sky was getting darker, meaning it was almost time for the idols to appear on stage. The trio was ready at their seats on the east-most side of the venue. Tenn kept denying that he was not at all interested in finding out whether the secret idol was Riku or not. The young boy pretended to be annoyed when Gaku and Ryuu went to buy tickets, with a spare one for him, without telling him. Actually, Tenn was dying to know it. Not to mention he had always wanted to see I6 from the audience point of view. They had earned every TRIGGER member's respect with their efforts.

Each member was holding two light sticks. “One for Sougo-kun, the other for Tamaki-kun” Ryuu happily switched the sticks on to show the colours that represented the people he usually hung out with. Gaku did not think much. He turned one on as yellow and the other as green. As for Tenn, the boy kept staring at his sticks.

“Why think so hard? Just switch them on for the Izumi brothers” Gaku nagged at Tenn. It was a logical choice though since I6 has 6 members. One cheer for each member was a fair choice.

Tenn sighed and began to press the button on one of the sticks for the light colour to change. Then he came across a tone that did not match anyone in I6. “Red?” Ryuu and Gaku spoke at the same time.

“Must be a colour for the new idol, huh?” Gaku stared at it.

Tenn thought hard.  _Red._  That colour matched Riku's hair. Although gold and silver were the colours used at Kujou Riku's concert. He decided to not think about it too much, so he kept pressing the buttons until he got an orange light stick. He repeated the same action for the remaining stick to get dark blue.

The outdoor venue had a main stage in the front, with a wide stage walkway cutting through in the middle. Perhaps it was not the most suited for an idol group, but for a solo idol, it was convenient to reach out to the fans.

Towards the front stage near to the middle, a couple stood, not taking their eyes off the stage. “Darling Yuki~! I can't wait any longer!!!” Momo waved 6 dark blue light sticks in his hands around frantically. Yuki swore no one's excitement could top Momo's. "Ioriiiiin!!!" Momo shouted with his sweet energetic voice.

Yuki, on the other hand, was holding 6 red light sticks. He loved I6 too, but he wanted to take a gamble and root for the secret idol. “No one will ever take Riku-kun's place. Right now though, I'm just in for the good music.”

Before long, the stage light dimmed out. Silence filled the venue as everyone was ready to scream to the top of their lungs. Six shadows appeared lining up at the front. A few seconds later, an intro of Viva! Fantastic Life! started playing, and the stage lighted up to show the glittering aura of the six idols.

“KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

The venue went from quiet to blasting in an instant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try my very best to describe the concert scene in the next chapter. This is kinda like a filler chap, but its important so I hope you enjoyed it anyway~! Once again comments and kudos are appreciated. I love them caramel slices <3  
> I'm on twitter as @kenarkrsun feel free to dm me ^^  
> I feel like it would be disastrous if Riku really did write a song XD


	31. My True Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I6 and the secret idol's concert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovely ppl! Kenar here~ This is the second to last chapter (well most likely) detailing the stuffs that happened at the concert. I've tried hard to describe things. It's not really my strong suit but i hope you will still enjoy this chapter!

The energy was high.

Thanks to the upbeat melody of 'Viva! Fantastic life!!!!!!!', the quiet and chilly venue was heated up within mere seconds. The members of I6 danced and jumped around. Because of how the stage was built, their movements were not limited to just the front of the stage. Everyone, especially Tamaki and Nagi, made good use of that. The high school boy and the charming man ran around the stage, greeting the fans who screamed very loudly for the group.

Iori acted as a perfect centre of the group. He had some specific hand gestures that once he pulled them off, everyone else would either regroup at the front stage or run off to do their fanservice.

Yamato, Mitsuki and Sougo were mostly dancing at the front stage. Occasionally, they would walk to the middle of the walkway, interacting with other members before swapping places.

Once the song ended, everyone regrouped at the front stage with Yamato in the middle. The melody of ‘GOOD NIGHT AWESOME’ started playing. The audience screamed as the group focused on their expressions and vocals.

Their second song soon came to an end, Iori took the centre of the stage where the spotlight shone on. Everyone else gathered beside him. Iori greeted the fans. “Good Evening, everyone and welcome to The Shining Star Live!” He announced the name of the concert in a composed manner, yet his smile made the hearts of the audience sway.

“Tonight is an exciting night, isn't it, Iori?” Mitsuki came forward. He attempted to touch Iori's shoulder. It was clear he had to reach for it. The audience laughed. "Hey! Don't laugh!" Mitsuki acted angry and shouted but the fans laughed even harder.

“Yes, Nii-san. Not only we are performing, another idol will also take the stage after us” Iori kept his smile. He was not about to let his personal feeling towards the new idol meddle with his professionalism at work.

“Are you guys excited to find out who he is? Because I sure am” Yamato chimed in. Most of the audience had confused looks on their faces.

Sougo chuckled slightly seeing the audience's reactions. “Yes we still don't know who he is” he spoke and "EHHHHHHHH?" could be heard throughout the venue.

While I6 was doing their show, Riku was out in the backstage area. True, it would be ideal for him to stay in his prep room and avoid the cold weather, but Riku knew his body needed to adjust to it. His eyes were glued to I6's performance which showed beautiful teamwork. He was shaking internally, not realising how badly he wanted to go on stage and steal all the spotlight. The boy ended up dropping his teacup so many times that Banri offered to hold it for him. Good thing Riku had a blanket covering his stage clothes at the time.

Momo was screaming, squealing and periodically strangling Yuki's neck whenever the fanservice was coming their way. Yuki was worried he might pass out before he gets to see the new idol appear on stage.

TRIGGER was trying their best to enjoy the concert without getting noticed. So instead of shouting to the top of their lungs, they waved their light sticks around excitedly. Ryuu often found himself forgetting and shouted a few times in Okinawan dialect. Who could blame him when the concert was so fun to watch?

During I6's last song, which was ‘MEMORiES MELODiES’, Riku was told to be on standby. He was led underground by the staffs to the spot with a lift that would make him appear on stage from below. It was right in the middle of the front stage. A little bit of calmness filled a part of an empty void inside Riku's heart. He did not know what it was, but it was the same feeling he got from being with Iori.

_I'm ready._  The boy had a serious expression on his face. He was about to go get his crown.

_Everyone will look at me._

IDOLiSH6 bowed and thanked the audience plenty enough times before exiting the stage. The spotlights stopped shining their lights on the stunning idols, making the whole venue go completely dark once again. The only illumination left was from the various colours of over 4000 light sticks.

Everyone in the venue including I6 tensed up as they kept their eyes on the stage. No one said a word. The revelation could be any moment now.

_10!_

_9!_  The countdown began as the stage lit up. A large number was shown on a huge screen in the back of the main stage. The hyped audience soon joined in.

_3! 2! 1!..._

The melody of a brand new song started playing. People started to scream as the spotlights rotated around, shining the lights everywhere in the venue. Soon, the lights all came to a stop at the spot in the middle of the front stage.

Two exact seconds and the idol with a fiery red hair appeared jumping out from below. Upon landing, he sang the first verse with the perfect timing to the beat.

“ _Without a cause…_ ”

It was only halfway through the first verse when the audience started screaming, pointing towards the stage or shouting. Some of them had their mouths opened in shock.

“Oh my god! It's him!”

“Kujou Riku!”

“It's really him! KYAAAAAAA KUJOU RIKU!!!!”

The screams got significantly louder. People began to wave their light sticks around the way they did for I6, meaning Riku now truly became the focus of the moment.

“ _Affection!_ ” Once Riku had finished singing his first verse, he walked to the middle of the stage pathway. "Switch those light sticks red!" The boy shouted before pulling off intense dance moves.

And the audience did as told. Riku smiled victoriously when he could see the sea of red all around him. He went back to singing, using all the vocal prowess he possessed. After all, ‘Mr.AFFECTION’ was his debut song.

        

“KUJOU RIKU?!?!” Mitsuki, Yamato and Nagi shouted in unison before turning their heads to look at their young centre. Mitsuki was about to question why Iori did not trust the group with this information when he saw the perfect high school student stumbled backwards, and Iori had never tripped on absolutely nothing. "So Iorin didn't know either?!?" Tamaki made a confused face while Sougo gently supported Iori, preventing him from falling.

“K..Kujou-san…”

Among the wild audience, “RIKU!!!!!” Tenn switched both of his light sticks red before forcefully stealing Gaku's sticks and turning them red as well. "Oi, you-" Gaku was about to scold Tenn when he was cut off by the boy's brocon mode scream "RIKU DAISUKIIIIII!!!!!". Even Ryuu was shocked by Tenn's reaction to the idol revelation.

“M-Momo, my heart…” Yuki put his right palm on his chest, making a distressed face. Momo was shaking Yuki's body violently. "DARLING YOU CAN'T DIE YET, RIKU-KUN IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! AND ME TOO!"

Riku was back to the spot he appeared out of when Mr.AFFECTION ended. Without a break in between, a familiar song started playing right away. Series of small flames shot up from the tiny pipes on the edges of the stage.

“KYAAAAAAAA!!!” The solo idol pushed his body to the limit by dancing to Kujou Riku's top hit song. The moves he pulled off were sharp and strong. The transitions between them were very smooth. It showed how much effort Riku put into his practice and his work as an idol.

The fans that sang along to his song gave him so much energy, yet Riku was not satisfied. Anyone could tell from his eyes he wanted more. Feeling amused, he used that moment to break the news to the crowd.

“Eyes on me! It's Nanase Riku!”

The name change could have caused a chaotic uproar, but Riku’s performance kept the mesmerised audience from being distracted. They all continued to watch him, cheer for him and sing with him. Satisfied with the reactions he got, Riku grinned even wider. He had not noticed that was the first time he felt so alive on stage.

Iori moved to the spot where he could get a better look at Riku. He, of course, noticed Riku was not the same.  _It’s as if he’s enjoying the moment. The question is...what makes him so motivated?_

The stage turned dark the moment the song ended. Riku slipped out to the backstage where I6 was. Banri ran to Riku with an oxygen bottle and covered the boy’s nose and mouth with the mask. Riku was clearly out of breath. The boy did not think he was in pain due to him being so hyped. Plus, despite how sad this sounds, Riku was used to his lungs not working the way he wanted them to.

While getting some oxygen and rehydrating himself, Riku caught a glance of young I6 centre who stood a distance away from him, watching him with a neutral expression. Iori was hard to read, and Riku being pretty much emotionless did not help. What the redhead knew was Iori and the rest of I6 were not going anywhere.  _Good. Keep watching me, Iori._  The thought made a cheerful, if not a little mischievous, smile appeared on Riku’s face. The calm and composed Iori flinched. Riku winked at his boyfriend before returning to the stage.The solo idol wished he could have waited to see Iori blush.

Riku continued to deliver one powerful performance after another. Nanase Riku’s image was not too different from Kujou Riku’s except that all Kujou did was creating an angsty illusion of himself, while Nanase was embracing that version of him. His mental problems be damned. Right now, Nanase Riku only cared about using his ability to the fullest.

Time flew by quickly for everyone in that venue. Riku stopped moving after what seemed to be his last song. The lights were now shining at the front stage. Riku took a brief moment to catch his breath before taking one of his earpieces out. Kujou Riku’s fans stared at him curiously as he had never done that before. Riku took the mic up to his mouth and…

“Um, hello”

He spoke, and the fans screamed loudly. They were so excited Riku stopped to talk. “Riku-kun!!!!” People, including Tenn and Yuki, called his name.

Riku blinked twice. He wondered what he should do, so he decided to raise his hand and wave to everyone at the venue. “KYAAAAAAAAA!!!! So cute!”

Riku eyes were blank the whole time. His emotions seemed to have disappeared the moment the music stopped. “I suppose I should talk…” Iori at the backstage facepalmed.  _What a hopeless person._  Banri watched his idol nervously, hoping it was not such a bad idea to let Riku talk on stage.

“Mhmm first thank you for giving me lots of attention” That line from doll-like Riku made his friends sweatdrop.  _He’s terrible with words._  was what Yamato and probably everyone who knew Riku was thinking.

“Ahahahahaha!” The audience seemed to think he was joking. Iori, Banri and Ryuu sighed in relief. Riku survived this round.

“Before I sing the last song for tonight. Allow me to apologise to everyone” Riku bowed deeply to the audience in front of him. “I know I disappeared very suddenly and without a word. I’m sorry for letting you down”

“Awww” Some of the fans shouted “It’s okay~”

Riku took a deep breath before continuing. “This next song...I chose it myself. It doesn't suit my style that much, but it is very special nonetheless” A glow started appearing in Riku’s eyes as he smiled warmly.

“Eyes on me…” Riku put the earpiece back to where it was, put the mike he was holding back to the stand and grabbed it with both hands. “Sennen Saki mo Zutto!”

An soft and beautiful melody started playing. Riku closed his eyes.  _This is for you, Iori._

During the first few sentences, Riku struggled to move with the songs. An emptiness visited him once again.

_Come on._  Riku thought.  _Let it reach him._

Slowly but surely, the solo idol's body began to move on its own to the rhythm as his heart was opening up and his mind was accepting his hidden feelings. Riku's voice seemed to have become louder, in way that it was making its way into people's hearts. The moment Riku sang the chorus, he was no longer frozen solid. The doll began to smile, so brightly that some people found it to be blinding. The solo idol was radiating a warm aura like how the sun shone in the sky, and the audience could feel the dramatic change in the atmosphere.

Gaku knew Tenn was getting emotional, so he put his arm over the boy's shoulder and gave it a reassuring rub. Ryuu patted the centre's head gently.

“This is the first time we get to see him like this huh, Yuki?” Momo spoke while smiling. "You just can't look at him and not smile...it's incredible" Yuki simply nodded. Riku had also warmed his heart. Momo chuckled seeing how much Yuki was into the moment.

“Ku-Riku” Iori moved closer to the stage side entrance instinctively. For some strange reason, he was on the verge of bursting into tears. The image of Riku smiling on stage was indeed as special as how Riku described the song to be. "Thank you" The moment the word of gratitude left Iori's mouth, the younger boy swore Riku was glancing his way.

_Father…_

_There is a lot I still do not understand. I do not know why you did what you did, and why you wanted to achieve that goal of yours._

_Right now, I did it. I've found my crown, but I am not going to stop here._

_Even if everything still seems dull and tasteless most of the time, I'd like to keep dreaming…_

_I believe this is what it's like to be living._

_And I am not alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Yuki is not an idol in this story I went ahead and stole his song for Riku fufu~ [That being said I stole Mr.AFFECTION too lol]  
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! I can't believe this fic got far to this point and it's all thanks to you lovely ppl who always give me the motivation i need <3  
> I'm on twitter as @kenarkrsun feel free to dm me ^^  
> [Link to the pic: https://twitter.com/kenarkrsun/status/1213733402093842432?s=20]


	32. My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary of the events that happened after Nanase Riku's debut concert

Riku had once again become the hot topic. Soon after the very successful concert ended, people started posting about the solo idol’s triumphant return. However, that was not the only topic on social media. There was heavy traffic of discussions, theories and rumours about the change in Riku’s surname. Most people were dying to know why he now shared the same surname as the famous TRIGGER’s centre, Nanase Tenn.

Both Banri and Riku knew they had now begun a new chapter of their lives. They were going to be very busy, especially for the next few days. “Excellent work today, Riku-kun.” Banri complimented the boy greatly while he was driving Riku back to his apartment after the concert. Riku was getting some oxygen from the portable bottle as he was exhausted. He was not thinking about anything much. Banri always made sure Riku was taken care of physically and mentally, so the boy felt he could relax despite feeling the tightness in his chest. Banri briefed the boy about his schedule so that Riku could get a full rest once they got to the apartment. “I’m afraid you won’t get a day off tomorrow as you’ll have to make an official debut announcement. Also, I’ve contacted Yaotome Productions about your surname change. They will let us know about a plan later.” Riku nodded and said nothing more.

Otoharu was at I6 dorm when Tsumugi and the boys returned. “Great work, everyone. We’ll have dinner celebration here tomorrow evening. Of course, Riku-kun will be joining us as well. For now, get some good rest.” The kind man beamed. He avoided extending his visit, so he soon left. As it was now nighttime, I6 had to go to bed soon. Yamato was the first to enter the bath. The others were waiting in the common area.

“Iori-kun” Sougo took a chair at the dining table and sat next to the young centre. “How are you feeling?” The question made everyone else except the oldest join the table as well.

Iori answered with a composed manner. “I’m glad our ‘enemy’ turned out to be Ku-, I mean, Nanase-san, but that doesn’t improve our situation. That hopeless guy is unexpectedly a powerful performer who can attract attention to himself.”

Even after saying that, Iori could not forget how Riku poured his heart out in singing ‘Sennen Saki mo Zutto’ which was clearly aimed at Iori. The high school boy’s feelings betrayed his logic. He hoped that being in the same agency as his boyfriend would mean they could understand each other better by working together. More than anything, he was glad to see Riku becoming so ‘alive’.

~~

Riku’s debut with “Mr.AFFECTION” was broadcast all over Japan. The idol stood his ground and refused any questions about his surname change during the official announcement. It simply was not the time. After that was out of the way, Banri and Riku waited for the pre-arranged moving company to move Riku’s stuff from the apartment to his new house. The two spent the afternoon unpacking. Luckily, Riku did not have a lot of things. Other than his medical supplies, the boy did not care about those that much. A few things he felt some attachment with were the small framed picture of him and Tenn, the keychain Iori got for him from Okinawa and some merchandise he bought from I6 concert.

With some downtime to himself in the evening, Riku sat on his bed, staring at the framed picture for a while.

_Sometimes it’s frustrating when I can recall the memories but can’t feel anything…_

“Riku-kun” Banri knocked on the opened door to let the boy know it was time to head out. “Are you ready?”

_...but that’s okay._

Riku nodded, placed the picture back on the bedside table and got up. “Yes, manager”

_I am still me, and with people around me, I’m sure to create more memories with them._

Riku followed Banri and got on his car. Before long, they arrived at I6’s dorm where a celebration was being held. Riku’s heart was beating fast as he approached the door with Banri. “ _Ha...ha.._ ”

Just before Banri was going to ring the bell, he noticed his idol seemed to be breathing fine, but a little too roughly. “Riku-kun, are you okay?” He shot Riku a worried look. Was he pushing the boy too hard?

“Manager” Riku put a hand on his chest. “I’m nervous”

Banri paused for a second before he burst out laughing. “You weren’t nervous having to go on stage, but you are nervous about seeing your friends?”

It was then that the front door was opened from the inside. “E-eh Banri-san? Riku?” Mitsuki was about to go out to check if these two arrived. He was surprised as he did not expect them to be right at the door already. “Why didn’t you ring the bell?”

Banri chuckled. “Riku-kun is too nervous” He said teasingly, making Mitsuki’s mouth drop. “Hah?”

“Nii-san, what’s- oh…” Iori came to check, wondering why Mitsuki remained standing at the door, and his eyes met with Riku’s. Iori stared for a brief moment before realising he was being rude. “Ah sorry, Banri-san, and Nanase-san too, hello”

“Iori” Riku instinctively stepped in to hug the boy whose face turned red as a response. “B-Baka! Not here! B-Banri-san is…”

“Ahahahahaha” Banri laughed again. These two sure made an interesting pair. “I’m well aware of your relationship. Same goes for the president.”

“I se-EHHHHHH???” Mitsuki shouted out loud.

“Come on, it’s obvious” Banri explained. “Two-third of Riku-kun’s conversations consist of ‘Tenn-nii’ and ‘Iori’. How can someone not know? Well...except for Tsumugi-chan, maybe” The manager gave his usual smile. Riku kept his arm wrapping around Iori, refusing to let the boy go. He must have missed the younger boy a lot.

“Wait so, they are allowed to date right?” Mitsuki asked as a clarification, making Iori feel the need to straighten himself up.

“Yes, as long as they are careful” Banri nodded. “Otherwise I would have a hard time talking to Riku-kun...ahaha” He laughed dryly. Iori sighed. “Nanase-san is so hopeless” A part of him was relieved to hear that though.

~~

The sky was now dark. Laughter filled the place. Mitsuki, Yamato and Sougo were super drunk from having too much beer. I6, the managers and the president spent most of the time going around the room and talking.

If Riku had to be honest, he felt a little left out. Even though everyone was so nice to him by making sure Riku was part of the group conversation, there were a lot of things he could not understand. Why was it funny that Tamaki’s underwear ended up on a tree because he accidentally opened his window on a windy day? Why was Nagi crying when he talked about the last episode of MagiCona? Lost in his thoughts, Riku, who sat on a chair next to a tea dispenser, kept drinking and refilling tea, to the point that Iori noticed something was off.

“Nanase-san” Seeing as everyone seemed to be having their fun, Iori took Riku’s hand and slipped outside. The sat on the bench in the back. “You’re not enjoying yourself, are you?” Iori asked, staring into Riku’s blank eyes.

“Mhmm it’s not that” Riku shook his head.

“You’re stressed. I can tell” Iori pressed further. All because he was worried about Riku.

“It’s fine, Iori” Iori flinched when Riku’s expression changed. The redhead smiled, and seeing that smile up close made Iori’s heart flutter. “There are moments I can’t enjoy, but there are moments that I can too” Riku took hold of Iori’s left hand and rubbed it with his thumb. “It’s not easy...for me to feel, but…” Riku shuffled even closer.

_Oh no! Too close, Riku. TOO CLOSE I CAN’T-_

“...but I know being with Iori makes me happy” The older boy rested his head on Iori’s shoulder, unaware of how hot Iori’s face was at that moment.

~~

The audience in the hall clapped when the live show started with Mr.Shimooka standing in the middle of the stage. He announced that he had two special guests today.

‘Mr. AFFECTION’ started playing. “KYAAAA Riku!!!” The audience screamed when they saw a familiar redhead appearing from the left side of the stage. “Eyes on me, it’s Nanase Riku!” He greeted the fans with his usual catchphrase.

Half a second after the screams died down, ‘U COMPLETE ME’ made the audience go wild again. Tenn appeared from the right side of the stage. “Tenn-kun AHHHHH!”

“Thank you for having me, Mr.Shimooka” Tenn smiled and waved to the audience.

“Come, come have a seat” Mr. Shimooka pointed for Tenn and Riku to sit on a large red couch. Then he sat on the one opposite to them. Riku sat right next to Tenn, hardly leaving any gap between them.

“Oh my. I didn’t realise you two are THIS close” The MC teased, making funny hand gestures.

“Well, Nanase-san is warm”

“Are you cold, Nanase-san?”

The two spoke at the exact same time, earning a confused look from everyone. The MC chuckled. “Wait Wait Wait that’s confusing! Don’t you have any other ways of referring to each other”

“Riku” Tenn started first this time.

“Tenn-nii” Riku looked at Tenn and responded. The audience found that cute.

“‘Tenn-nii?’” Mr.Shimooka blinked twice. “Are you two actually related?” The MC was not afraid of getting right into the hot topic. The hall went silent in an instant as the fans waited for the moment of revelation.

“...we are” Keeping a small smile on his face, Tenn nodded. “Riku is my little twin brother”

“EHHHHHH?!???” The hall broke out into chatter. “So what happened between the two of you?” Mr.Shimooka turned to Riku this time.

“Father adopted me. I became Kujou Riku.” Riku answered bluntly. Even if he came prepared, he could still lose control from the strong waves of anger, sadness and pain that lingered inside his heart, ready to crash at any time.

Tenn knew Riku was uncomfortable. “Riku’s been through a lot of suffering and trauma.” He took care of the talking, hoping to end the topic as quickly as possible. “His adoptive father treated him cruelly, to the point that he became unable to express his emotions”

“Awwwwww” Some of the fans had sad looks on their faces. While Kujou Riku appeared to be a cool guy to many people, talks about him being ‘hard to reach’ was nothing new. Ever since he made his first debut, there were discussions about how Riku seemed to have a cold personality or how he never really smiled. There were no events like ‘fan meeting’ scheduled for Kujou Riku. Well, now they all knew the truth. Whether they believe it or not was a different matter.

Tenn refused to let the topic ended like a family drama. “Even if that’s the case” He continued. “He never fails to provide ultimate entertainment to his fans with his dance moves of great intensity and powerful vocals.”

Tenn patted Riku’s head, earning screams from the audience. “I’m very proud of him”

~~

During the two months after Riku’s debut concert, Riku and his agency had been working hard to rebuild his fan base and gain or regain trust from people in the show business. The boy had been receiving jobs, though not nearly as much as when he was Kujou Riku. There were times when Riku struggled with the learning curve of trying the jobs which involved interactions with people. Still, Riku was content. It was nice to see himself grow this way.

“IDOLiSH7??”

The idols of Takanashi Productions were called to a meeting with their president and managers. They repeated what they heard in unison. It turned out they were going to have a new side project called ‘IDOLiSH7’ which Riku and I6 would be singing together. Furthermore, instead of letting Iori be a solo unit in I6, he would now join up with Riku.

The president nodded while handing out a CD and a piece of paper. “Yes, and this is the song for IDOLiSH7”

~~

The day ‘MONSTER GENERATiON’ went on sale, it hit the top chart immediately. ‘Fly Away!’ sung by Riku and Iori also became very popular. Most of the feedbacks were about how Riku seemed like he was a member of I6 all along. Before long, the sales of I7’s ‘MONSTER GENERATiON’ exceeded each of Nanase Riku’s ‘Mr.AFFECTION’ and I6’s newest single ‘Hatsukoi Rhythm’. Takanashi productions saw that as an opportunity to open a new door for them. They made an arrangement so that IDOLiSH7 was now an official idol group. Of course, Nanase Riku and I6 would continue to work normally as separate idol groups.

~~

- **Three weeks later** -

Iori walked into a cat-themed cafe one morning. After ordering his basic vanilla cake and hot chocolate, he knew exactly which table to go to. Once he got there, his eyes met with a familiar redhead’s who was wearing a long ponytail disguise. He sat down on a chair opposite to the older boy. They were quiet until their orders were served at the table.

“You ordered the exact same thing as when we first met here, Iori” Riku teased the younger boy. “You are so simple”

Iori sighed. “And you are too complicated” He smiled a little seeing how Riku ordered something totally different from last time. In fact, that boyfriend of his never ordered the same menu at the same restaurant. “All because you have zero feelings”

“Hey, that’s mean!” Riku made a hurt face and pouted, which only made Iori happier. Riku had truly changed a lot since they first met. In the past, the solo idol would just stare at him with his cold, dead eyes.

Iori took that thought back when Riku went back to having those doll-like blank eyes within a second. “You know, Iori…” Riku spoke. “The first time I met you here, I asked if we were friends. That was kind of embarrassing, wasn’t it” Iori simply nodded. “Well I’m glad I asked anyway”

Riku looked up to face Iori fully. The high school boy’s eyes soon sparkled as he was captivated by the beautiful sight before him. Riku’s smile was as bright as the sun, just like the one on the frame picture of his childhood he had in his bedroom.

“Because thanks to you, life is so much more colourful now”

 

_~**END**~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uwahuwahuwahuwahuwah!?!? It ended OMG I don't know what to say. It's been such a long journey with this fic that I'm sad to see it ended. At the same time, I'm glad of what i've done. Before I start talking stuff about this fic, THANK YOU SO, SO, SO MUCH for your kind support. You lovely readers are the one that help me keep going and help me keep creating other works. I'M TRULY GRATEFUL *bows* 
> 
> So...about this fic. Several parts of My Crown, especially Riku's personality and Takamasa's influence on his life, are based on real life. I started this fic when I was in the middle of coursework and exam crisis LOL. It was a pleasant write until it got to the point about Friends Day event where I was struggling on which plot would be the best, how would the characters act etc. The story wasn't meant to be romance-focused nor it was meant to be this 'dark' or angsty but hey I only do short-term plans so i didn't know those were going to happen either! 
> 
> I guess that's all I wanted to say about the fic. Oh and here's some shameless advertisement, if you like my work (thank you) and want more here are some multi-chaptered works i've published:  
> For IoRiku - "The Sweetness of Tears" and "Anifusio IDOLiSH7" are both completed ^^  
> If you're not fussed about IoRiku ship, please check out "DiMENSIONS" ><  
> I'm on Twitter as 'kenarkrsun' feel free to come talk to me about ainana!
> 
> SO YEAH with that all said and done THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN!!!! Until next time~!
> 
> Kenar <3


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